F
fastnbulbous
Major
★★★
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2023
- Posts
- 2,257
First I want to say I've always wanted rape. I've been touching myself thinking about it for as long as I can remember, before I even knew the name for it. I was kind of a slut in college. I was in situations that other people might call rape, drunk or high and some random guy using me like a whore. I would just do a lot of dumb things for fun. I'm pretty sure there's still pictures of me out there where I'm smiling with my tongue hanging out and my face is covered in cum. There's maybe video of me blowing a guy in the bathroom or getting railed at a party and I didn't care. It was... whatever. Part of college life I guess.
But for the past couple of years I've been trying to move on and be a "normal" person? Like, get a real job and act like a respectable girl and all of that. But I still can't stop thinking about being raped. Being abused. Slapped around, punched, violently used in all my holes, humiliated, tortured. Anything that destroys me. I can't stop.
And lately... I don't know how to explain. I voted democrat in a red state. And I don't live in the nicest area. There are angry men all around me. I mean, they're real mad. And I just want. I used to work in a bar around here and I heard the way they talk about women. I heard them talk about me sometimes. How much better I'd look with my legs spread or a cock in my throat. One time I heard a guy say that he wanted to shove his beer bottle deep into my cunt and rape me with it until he made me cry.
I want to go out in a tight crop top and my shortest skirt, my highest heels. Perfect makeup, plump lips, teased hair. And a little Biden/Harris sticker so they know. So they're angry at me.
I want an older man who hates women, who wants to hurt every cunt he sees because that's all we are to him. Cunts to use, to rape, to hurt. I want him to make me his. To rape me over and over. To beat me. To degrade me so bad that I don't even feel human any more. I have limits but I want him to have none, to make me have none. To break me completely.
Or I want to walk into the "wrong" bar and have them all circle me, stripping me as they push me around. Laugh at me when I fall. Take photos of my naked body and force me to drink vodka until I can't see straight. Push me up on the bar and use all my holes for hours, not caring if I pass out, laughing at me.
I want to come across someone who remembers me from college, who knows how easy I am and spits in my face as he laughs at me for being a dumb whore. I want him to do the worst things he's ever imagined to me. I want him to record it and send it to everyone I've ever known. I want them all to see what I really am.
I just need it. I need horrible things to be done to me. I need to be ruined. I need to be raped, over and over again. And hurt. I want someone cruel, someone who literally doesn't care about me at all.
I'm so ashamed of this. I could never tell anyone. I never have, that's why I made this throwaway because I just had to tell someone. I had to let it out. But just typing this made it worse. I'm so horny all the time lately and it's making me want to do stupid things. Just knowing people will read this makes me so wet even though I'm ashamed of myself.
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/RapeFantasy/comments/js0xm5/so_ashamed/
