Haha I doubt I would have survived growing up in Africa or India given my sensibilities alone. The wealth disparity in the world is just brutal. The Global North which contains around 20% of the world's population holds 70% of the world's wealth or something like that.
I don't believe in God. Nordic countries are probably the most secular countries in the entire world so religion is a very alien concept to me. There was a study in my country where they asked the priests if they believed in God and over half of them said that they didn't if I remember correctly, for example.
I have studied Christianity and other religions though, and I did pray for a couple of months when I was having suicidal impulses. The reason I had suicidal impulses was because I had reached the end of a Yad Stop phase I had. That phase was without any success, of course. My brain was always blackpilled due to pattern recognition but it took a long time for my heart to fully accept the blackpill as true. I embarrassed myself like crazy but I think that attempting to ascend is something every truecel should do. Being rejected brutally several times over is the only way one can come to truly comprehend the blackpill.
Anyways, when I prayed to God I said that I was thankful for my life, asked for forgiveness for my sins, prayed for faith, asked for strength to survive each day and prayed for my family and a few people I knew. It was a good cope that kept my suicidal impulses at bay until I felt better again and I would recommend it to anyone else going through a similar thing. Once I started feeling better again I quickly dropped Christianity and religion though. The reason for that is because I just do not think that it is practical for a truecel to be a devout follower of religion. Religion has too much nonsense to follow in it that only hinders one's life when one isn't suffering immensely anymore.
Another reason that I don't believe in God is because I found another way to cope with my loneliness. I no longer believe that love, whether romantic or platonic is a real thing. The reason I believe that is because I realised just how limited people's abilities to communicate and understand each other really are. When a person thinks he loves someone what he actually loves is the idea of that person he built up in his head. That idea is not anywhere near what that actual person is like. The more I came to understand other people's minds the more I grew to hate them as well. These days I am actually grateful that I will never get to fully understand the cuckoo's nest that is a neurotypical's mind, or god forbid a foid's mind for that matter. I think that loneliness is merely a pain we have for whatever reason. It is probably an old survival mechanism. Sure, it hurts but it is not any more profound than an elbow scratch. It would be nice to live without pain and lack of pleasure but that would still not make life complete. The reason for that is because to be conscious is to seek. Even if I woke up as Chad tomorrow I would still feel an unrest in my body because of the lack of knowledge about the world we inherently have as humans. What I live for now is pursuit of knowledge or "the truth", if you will. Pain and pleasure are really mundane things, having or not having them has no effect on our ability to seek the truth. I think that truecels ought to foster curiosity for what lies beyond our current understanding of reality. That is at least the ultimate cope I have at the moment. It is the thing keeping me alive.
As for my opinions on suicide, I don't think that it is a wrong thing to do but I would never encourage anyone to do it. I also think that nobody should ever attempt to commit suicide on an impulse. My life is certainly not perfect, but as I have explained I have found ways to cope so I am not planning on roping any time soon.
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