Serious What mentally crippled you?

[TollieRobertis419]

I'm mentally crippled by a fat dude who bullied me for years

 

[racoon4]

not knowing how to fight, especially in hs

 

[ControlledInsanity]

Growing up on vidya due to having zero IRL freedom as a child

 

[Incelius Savage]

Not having a family and having no freedom lively and financially..

Also being poor and accidently shutting off my sex hormones from jerking off too hard.

 

[HighTGymcel]

lonely teenage years

 

[TollieRobertis419]

not knowing how to fight, especially in hs

I tried to fight some bullies in school and ended up getting physically humiliated as they where all stronger than me and in numbers.

I'm such a moron for not using a weapon back then.

 

[TollieRobertis419]

Growing up on vidya due to having zero IRL freedom as a child

Same. My dad used to beat the living shit out me whenever he saw me play with other kids outside. He would literally drag me to our house and beat the living crap out of me there.

 

[mistersinister]

College.

 

[Stonersperg]

Not being able to fight my bullies, being too weak and mentally crippled by the meds they gave me since 6 years old that have evidently caused brain shrinkage, being born with autism and developing schizophrenia at 19

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

My resilience is the result of many problems over many years:

Okay. I'll start:

Story One:

I've suffered from Major Depressive Disorder(MDD) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder(GAD) since I was nine or ten. This led to me entering a group therapy program when I was fourteen, where I met a young girl named Shannon.

Shannon was anxious and had social anxiety/depression. However, Shannon was treated fairly well in the program. I, however, I was denigrated by both psychologists and youth. A certain "redhead" psychologist would frequently criticize me because I struggled to make eye contact or speak to other youth. I had to use stress balls to control my anxiety, which made me a source of amusement for the other youth in the group. They whispered and laughed at me, but treated Shannon like a queen.

To shorten the story, I'll say this: We were placed into separate therapy groups due to "unintended problems"(Negatively "influencing" a female of higher status). Years later, she did some "lovely things" to me after volunteering in the psychiatric hospital.

That situation has always bothered me. Anyway, moving on...

Story: Two:

I lived in a youth commune for some time. There, I was harassed/bullied by Tyrone and Chadlito. Tyrone took pictures of my naked body(I was in the male bathroom cleaning myself) and started laughing at my child-like appearance and fairly small phallus size with his roommate. He also threw dice at my room door each night and would play loud "rap" music at maximum volume to disturb me.

Chadlito, however, was much more subtle. He would peak into my room and, on occasion, steal my items. He also liked to gossip about me("He's a weirdo", "He's a freak", "He puts food in bags and goes outside to eat alone") and especially loved recording me. This led to him recording me while I was sleeping(I have sexsomnia), which led to the shelter boys/girls laughing at my "sexual speech". Note that the shelter girls had already mocked me previously for my feminine voice and autistic, avoidant behavior.

Because my case manager divulged my ASD diagnosis freely, I was a prime target for bullying and abuse from other youth. Chadlito eventually tried to have me evicted from the commune, which happened after I started staying in my commune room most of the time to avoid being shoved into desks by him(Demonstrating his "machismo" against an innocent aspie).

It is painful to have ASD, MDD, GAD, PTSD(It was already present from childhood trauma), and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria/RSD. I would've likely roped if not for my obsessive fantasizing from ASD.

Understood.

When I was in my early teens, my father would constantly denigrate my autistic traits. He would often tell me,

"Why are you so shameful all the time?" (I was anxious and kept my head down in public)

"We're going to grandma's house, hurry up!"(He wanted to make himself seem like an excellent father by showing her his son)

"You're moving so slowly"(He would hit me; I was sluggish from ASD/trauma)

"Your cousins are better than you!" (Again, anxiety and depression)

"I'm saying this to be kind. Don't anger me." (If I was struggling to go inside a store due to anxiety)

I once had Pyelonephritis and was fairly weak from it to the point of needing to stay home when my father wanted to visit a store. My father, instead of asking me if I took my prescribed antibiotics, simply told me, "Hurry up, let's go see grandma". He then asked Grandma to patronize me for my "disobedience".

From kindergarten to second grade, I had a single friend. He stuttered sometimes, but was initially kind to me. Later, he integrated with the NT kids and left me alone, leaving me friendless. I'd pace the playground alone until the teachers ordered us to line up. After that, I was homeschooled until 8th grade.

Mother placed me in a Jewish program for children. I was too anxious to socialize. I kept my head down while sweating for the two sessions I attended. Then she placed me in group therapy, where I was bullied.

Yes; my father would regularly batter Mother and break things. When angry, Mother would grab my stimming objects and shake them in my face while tightly grasping my neck.

Mother moved into a separate apartment and stayed with relatives, at times. We also had to live with my paternal grandparents.

My grandmother would often ask me to do things for her. I obediently tried to follow her instructions and received denigration as a result. She would yell at me and say things like "Look! Use your eyes!"(Because I was anxious and had visual processing issues), "Did you hear me!?! That isn't the way I told you to do it!"(When I would drop things or make mistakes because I was sweating and anxious out of fear of upsetting her). She would tell me "Put your head up. No one did anything to you" because I was too anxious to make eye contact with her.

Yes, I remember my final day in group therapy well. I was heavily depressed, as usual. It was cloudy and raining. A certain Black youth told me, "Intellau, go over there."(As usual), and I obeyed him out of a desire for peaceful group time. A kid by the name of "Sean", another Black youth, criticized my writing and said "Wow....Intellau's writing is terrible"(He was handing out our goal sheets for the day); he also made sure to read my "discharge" certificate. I kept my discharge secret so I wouldn't be laughed at by my group "mates".

And as usual, on the drive home, the young girls in my transportation van started hitting me and drawing on me. Why? Simple:

Very common. Most male teenagers look at me like I am a young child. My height is between 5'2 - 5'3.

Indeed. In group therapy, a twelve-year-old Black boy towered over me and called me a "short girl". He would snicker and say "Tch" at me during group line-ups. I was 15.

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Next Year:

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I've had negative experiences with Latinos in the past. A certain Chadlito used to gossip and bully(physically/verbally) me when I lived in a commune. Also, a Latino once insulted("Bitch, nobody gives a fuck about you") me on the bus because he disliked my anxious behavior; I had a headache.

However, someone I once respected seemed like a kind Latina.

Years ago, I was bullied too. Youth would laugh at me because I was a short autistic boy who was unable to speak without stuttering. They called me "house mouse", "weirdo", "freak", "pipsqueak", "leprechaun"(feminine voice). One girl said, "I think he has a disability" as a joke.

I've always been dissociated from my surroundings because of my illnesses, so I speak to myself for comfort and clarity. This attracted the attention of a certain Hispanic boy, who happily recorded my private chatter and played it with his friends. He also started shoving me into desks when he realized how "easy" it was to torment me. Eventually, I had a mental breakdown from this.

Yes...bullied on the street. Common scenario for vulnerable males.

I was bullied on the street once by a tall White man. He laughed at me because I was ethnic and told me I could only hope to get "low quality" landwhales.

His exact words were, "You make all the fat girls faint"

You're reminding me of my first stint in group therapy. Youth would nearly always overlook me. Some blatantly insulted me and made statements such as "Intellau, you know no one wants to partner with you. Go over to the table and sit alone", "Tsk"(Directed at me), "No one likes him! He acts like a female! Why do I have to go to the 'Quiet Room'?".

The only exception was when a certain kind youth joined my group. He treated me respectfully and showed concern for my obvious anxiety and social ineptitude; I was his partner for one group assignment, and it went very well.

Yes. Like you, I suffer from chronic constipation and acid reflux. My constipation is due to something I was born with.

As a young child, I used to pace the floor for hours until the pain from my constipation subsided

Four years later...

Aspie John is walking to the dinner tray rack of the psych ward he currently resides in, when he notices a familiar face: Anxious Jane.

It is customary for volunteers and nurses to hand patients their trays, but Anxious Jane ignores Aspie John. As he prepares to grab his tray, Anxious Jane quickly walks towards him, makes hand-fiddling gestures and says, "What's your name?" in a mocking tone. She then briefly reads his bracelet and grabs his tray, holding it forcefully as he tries to take it from her.

Ahhhh....yes, I see...

When I was in group therapy, youth would be annoyed by my constant stuttering. One youth, someone I still respect and had spent months with while there, muttered "Thank you" in an annoyed tone when I declined to speak any further. Another simply spoke over me when it was my turn.

Several of the youth there had to be sent to the "Quiet Room" because they would nod off as I was speaking.

The "extreme romantic attachment" is not from an easy life; it's from mental illness. My "attachment" to people extends into obsessive thinking and fantasizing because it helped me ignore childhood trauma(D.V). I'm an ASD and PTSD sufferer.

Exactly. This was evident to me when the male youth living in the same commune as me would walk by my room door each night and mock me with the sexual language I used while sleeping. They also would deliberately slam their room doors as hard as possible to startle me since I have chronic anxiety from autism.

"Looks like we've got a mouse in the house"(Chadlito said this because I was isolating myself in my commune room due to embarrassment. I would wrap a belt/blanket around my body to prevent sleep-masturbation.)

"Wow, Intellau didn't go outside to eat today"(Yes, I remained in my room without eating; it was habitual by that point)

Chadlito personally walked by my door and said, "So you don't like women riding?" in a cocky tone, and then went into his room laughing.

Stress only worsened my sexsomnia...

I still remember cowering into a ball inside my room as the male youths stood outside my door laughing at my sexual sleep-talking. It was then that I realized "sexsomnia" was one of my ASD symptoms. I still had "fluids" and sweat on my body from the act.

I've experienced this "firsthand"; a psychiatric nurse said "Hello Su" to me because I was (anxiously) fidgeting with a pencil in my hospital room. This is despite the fact that ASD-related fidgeting was already documented in my mental health history. I am a short ethnic male. Another hospital patient deliberately walked past me twice and insulted me as I was calling a relative on the hospital phone because he thought my hat was "stupid". He received no punishment.

Shannon Rose Bosanac enjoyed three luxurious stays in the same psychiatric hospital. Each time, she was treated like a deity by hospital staff.

And of-course, there was group therapy. I've explained that already

Sadly, Chadlito used this fact to torment me in the youth commune; he and his friends would constantly slam their room doors to startle me. I'd have to block my ears.

He'd go into his room and start speaking Spanish in an extremely cocky tone afterwards(Vile laughter).

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Yes.

My maternal half-cousins and half-aunt would chat with my step-grandfather about myself and Mother living elsewhere. (I heard their conversations often)

"She never does any housework" (Objectively false. I have other problems with her, however...)

"They're leeching from us" (I never asked them for food or even clothing. I very rarely spoke to them.)

He would get upset when Mother would ask him to pick up our prescriptions from stores. He'd also get upset when Mother asked to visit grocery stores. This is despite taking my half-relatives to stores/fast food restaurants multiple times weekly. Medical appointments as well(When medical transportation wasn't an option).

My half-aunt's lovely statements:

"[Mother] sits around all day"

"I thought [Mother] said they had no food" (Me and Mother relied on food pantry boxes/SNAP)

"[Intellau] will tell his mother if we bully him" (Maternal half-cousins; they abused my younger half-cousin somewhat since she was reluctant to do so.)

As a child, my half-aunt would patronize me for my autistic behavior. She would criticize my sluggish movements and depressed demeanor. "Hurry up [Intellau]!" - I also had social cue problems and misunderstood instructions from her.

They are kleptomaniacs; they would take portions of our food home after "visiting".

Lastly:

"(I never asked them for food or even clothing. I very rarely spoke to them.)"

Indeed. I was very grateful when my grandmother stopped giving me meals at the age of seventeen due to her view of me as an ingrate. She often said "[Intellau] was born with a silver spoon in his mouth" because I was anxious and struggling to help her with house tasks due to my NLD(I would help them with laundry, unpacking groceries, washing dishes, fetching items they needed, ...).

The individuals on my maternal side(Mother and half-aunt) were dyslexic and unable to learn driving concepts. My maternal half-cousins are high school dropouts with clinically-diagnosed low intelligence.

I remember an occasion where we returned to their home after visiting my half-uncle.

I was sitting on the floor. My cousin denigrated me, I said something negative in return...her mother then denigrated me also.

Yes, certainly influenced. I was influenced unexpectedly when my half-aunt would regularly speak about my family problems with her daughters in front of me. I was there since Mother had appointments.

I suppose that, somehow, having two children with Tyrone made her clan more valuable than myself and Mother, given that I merely witnessed daily domestic violence and slept in a spare room of my paternal grandparents' house as my half-cousins slept peacefully in their room, which was adjacent to their grandmother's.

My half-cousins would fight at home, stay with my grandparents, consume our food, use Mother's computer, and disregard my presence. Stores/Grocery? Mother paid. My half-aunt would regularly visit and take a portion of our meals. They rarely gave us any food.

Elizabeth had some sort of "Social Worker" named Jenna. She took them to stores, et cetera...this was necessary since the support of my half-uncle offering my half-aunt discounted electronics and the support of their grandfather taking them to McDonalds daily for toys was never enough.

I type this with disgust of vile thoughts. Still, I appreciate your audience...

My parents fought when I was a young child daily. So, I often spent time with my half-relatives. I was depressed, sluggish, anxious, and couldn't grasp social cues well. This meant it was easy for me to become saddened and tearful due to ASD/domestic violence trauma.

My half-aunt would denigrate me for being unable to follow them in stores(I was anxious). Any disagreement with her children meant I would be denigrated. They'd laugh at me after I left.

I initially blamed myself, until I reflected and realized that they were simply filth, truthfully.

My relatives, though, denigrated me for my autistic traits. My maternal half-cousins laughed at my severe anxiety when I was an adolescent, and my paternal cousin would disregard me while I was fidgeting with items.

 

[cowpoke]

prenatal drug exposure + adverse childhood experiences + bullied in school

 

[Persianyoungcel]

There is a feeling that is eating me inside full of anger hate envy and need to prove myself

 

[NorthernWind]

Not being able to fight my bullies, being too weak

 

[crvkek]

I tried to fight some bullies in school and ended up getting physically humiliated as they where all stronger than me and in numbers.

I'm such a moron for not using a weapon back then.

this is the foolishness that the internet teaches people. 'stand up for yourself and confront them'. you fight with onne and their friends appear. and the one you fight is probably stronger and more experienced beating peopke from yeas of predation. the weapon more than likely will get you into juvenile dtention type facility with worse bullies

ive seen people without agression or fighting prowess get by without problems cuz they have an aquaintence circle who have numerical pushback. if you are out cast usually you have a target on your back and no backup

 

[Nigerlozi]

the way women ignored me most of my schooling years

 

[Indari]

friendless teenage years

 

[IchWillSterben]

The fact that I’m already old while I’ve never really been young

 

[TollieRobertis419]

this is the foolishness that the internet teaches people. 'stand up for yourself and confront them'. you fight with onne and their friends appear. and the one you fight is probably stronger and more experienced beating peopke from yeas of predation. the weapon more than likely will get you into juvenile dtention type facility with worse bullies

ive seen people without agression or fighting prowess get by without problems cuz they have an aquaintence circle who have numerical pushback. if you are out cast usually you have a target on your back and no backup

What am I supposed to do then? Record them bullying me and take it to the police and sue them?

 

[METALMILITA88]

Read my sig

Lonely teen years

 

[Deleted member 43314]

I’m mentally crippled cuz I’m incel, I have alway has fat problem I can’t stop dieting or else I get fat again.
I also have ogre face

 

[Prehistoric Sponge]

Witnessing a stuttering autistic white dude slay an alarming amount of bitches in the span of two weeks

 

[crestfallencel]

lonely teenage years

 

[crvkek]

What am I supposed to do then? Record them bullying me and take it to the police and sue them?

point is its stacked against you. not your fault to turn into rambo and risk jail with more problems is not gonna help you.

if you have the parental and finacial resources laywer letters with evidence of school's failure is enough to send the staff at the bullies for fear of being sued if you are in the west. police wont care unless you have been physically touched. usually threats are ignored by them. once you get touched without reason and have a witness and or video. police reports can work wonders.

its not your fault given the circumstances. is what im saying

 

[nystagmuscel]

Shitty mother who did everything in her power to prevent my father from living a good life

 

[turbosperg]

ADHD
Autism
Alcoholism
Depression
Complex PTSD
Avoidant Personality Disorder
_______

All of the above mostly caused by shitty upbringing - starting in the womb.

 

[Eunuch]

The answer should be - your height+your face.

Anything other than that is pua cuck coping nonsense