BlackPill47 said:
I'm praying for an early death from natural causes.
Sometimes I wish I had cancer or something and would just have a year or so left to read some books, play some games, listen to some music, travel somewhere and then die. While this would still be terrible for my parents (or for my mother, I have a more complicated relationship to my father I sometimes feel hate for), it would obviously be less terrible than me jumping in front of train. Maybe this would even bring legal issues with it because sometimes the families of people jumping in front of trains get sued and forced to pay for the cleanups and the psychological treatments of the engine drivers etc.
Recently I've been told that a friend of my parents ... he had a son and apparently the son was diagnosed with cancer all of a sudden and around a year later he was already dead. As far as I know the treatment for cancer is pretty good by now. I mean, not good in the way that they can cure it, but you won't just scream in pain and terror for a year but it might actually be a ratehr painless dead and you can go gently into that good night.
I never really liked this poem, btw. Do not gently into that good night. It always felt such an immature call for futile resistance against the unavoidable to me: do not go gently into that good night (....) rage rage against hte dying of the light.
This doesn't feel wise to me, but I digress...