your ascendant is Virgo
Nah its Aquarius altough i dont know the exact time i was born
I thought so too; it was either that or Virgo.
Impressive that you were able to gauge that
Your avi give me aquarius vibes, it's the coloursImpressive that you were able to gauge that
makes sense ig
Least I woke up a little better today, unironically first time I woke up with any kinda morning wood in weeks still can’t goon tho
having morning wood is so annoying tbh, hard to empty your bladder with an erection
Holding my breath helps shrink it or like getting blood flow to any other area(could also shoot it straight into anywhere but the toilet if ur stream splits with erections jfl), ngl for me it was lifefuel cuz I’ve been feeling mentally castrated so if I can pop an erection it means I can’t be too far gone
i just endure the pain
Mentally mogs me to oblivion
i tried to game some old stuff and it kinda helped but i jus dont have much dopamine in my brain to truly enjoy the shit im doing, it feels like im jus existing whenever im scrolling or gaming or watching anything , i want to do stuff but at the same time i dont becuz it feels like too much of a drag
exactly i also tried older games and it didnt help much. i rather LDAR
its fcking over
walk hella, read books that I find hard to read bcus It makes me spend a lot of time to understand them, play videogames and watch movies
yeah, and i was shit at games too back then so i never got any status from it but my escapism skills were so good, now nothing can escape me from myself theres no numbing things anymore
i will say the crime docs help kill time i jus need to find more interesting ones
i hate the endless cycle of wd but at least it makes time feel like its going faster, can't remember basically anything either, drugs lose their pleasure very quickly after so long its just to keep you even more numb to things and pass time quicker with something to do, also hope it kills me faster
u dont ever feel bad about being depndent on them? thats the big issue for me, when i didnt care id mindlessly dose without feeling bad about it but now i cant get high, and even when i do its not enjoyable becuz ik what awaits me when i come down and my thoughts and emotions are only going to be worse ,
tbh
not really, doesn't feel much different than being dependant on food to me, feels like shit when im in wd but so would it if i stopped eating completely, i don't get much of a high on anything i take anymore unless i rotate my substances and avoid using one too long which i'm not really good at more or leses just to feel any bit sedated and pass the time, maybe i feel something but its not really a high like it once was
lucky, if i could feel like that i prob wouldnt feel the wds as bad, but that compounds the wds heavily cuz then u feel like complete utter shit inside and out, im trying to switch to being a scroller media consumer rather than addicted to substances cuz at least then i feel like shit but its so much easier mentally than hating waking up the next day not knowing if youll be in wd or not, especially once u stop getting high its like what is the point? it feels suffocating cuz ur jus using jus to feel ok
not sure the wd is much better anyways, its pretty easy to know when i'll be in wd so its not the worst side affect for me more just the constant need to always have to take something and remember to take it otherwise the wd happens, i'm a big media consumer myself basically addicted to it the same way i am substances
thts what kills me it makes me not look forward to even being awake cuz you know ur jus surviving
just surviving is all i've really ever known not much different, got hooked on substances from my own parents giving me benzos to shut me up as a child and ambien to make me sleep
it’s nice ur indifferent to it, i wish i could be too
not sure its much better, both are miserable ends to be on in the same hell both being tortured in our own way
true the grass is prob greener in my head lol
