“We Do Exist”: The Experiences of Women Living with a Sexual Interest in Minors
Archives of Sexual Behavior volume 51, pages879–896 (2022)Cite this article- 20k Accesses
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Abstract
The current body of the literature studying minor-attracted persons (MAPs) predominantly focuses on the experiences of men who experience sexual attractions to children. To shed more light on the experiences of women within this population, we conducted anonymous semi-structured interviews with six self-identified female MAPs, who were recruited through online support forums for individuals with sexual attractions to children. Interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA) was used to analyze the interview transcripts. Two superordinate themes were identified from the dataset that highlighted the uniqueness of the experience of being a woman within the MAP community (“A minority within a minority”) and themes of social isolation and the effects of this on identity (“A lonely secret existence”). The findings reported here highlight how the experiences of female MAPs both converge with and diverge from their male counterparts in important ways. We discuss the implications of these experiences in relation to more effective service provision for women who are sexually attracted to children.Working on a manuscript?
Avoid the common mistakesIntroduction
Interest in the area of sexual attractions to children or minors (referred to in this paper as “minor attraction”) is increasing in academic and social contexts. This is largely due to the theoretical link between minor attraction and sexual offending against children (Finkelhor, 1984; Seto, 2018a, 2019; Ward & Beech, 2006), but more recently has been driven by an acknowledgment that many minor-attracted persons (MAPs) live offense-free within the community (Cantor & McPhail, 2016; Dombert et al., 2016). These individuals commonly report difficulties in coping with their sexual attractions within a social context that stigmatizes them (Jahnke et al., 2015a), which leads to difficulties (e.g., perceived barriers and a lower level of willingness) in seeking professional support when this is needed (Grady et al., 2018; Levenson & Grady, 2019; Lievesley et al., 2020). That is, individuals who are sexually attracted to children often acknowledge that they would either like or need support to help them manage their sexual attractions, but fear doing so due to (1) being “outed” within society, (2) becoming the subject of community discrimination or hatred, or (3) a lack of understanding from healthcare professionals (or a combination of these things).Although there has been a recent increase in the availability of data relating to minor attraction in the community within the literature (e.g., Dymond & Duff, 2020; Elchuk et al., 2021; Freimond, 2013; Grady et al., 2018; Houtepen et al., 2016; Levenson & Grady, 2019; Lievesley et al., 2020), this knowledge stems from samples of men within the community with such sexual attractions. In this paper we report what we believe to be the first qualitative analysis of the lived experiences of a sample of minor-attracted women.
Defining “Minor Attraction”
The phrase “minor attraction” acts as an umbrella term to describe a range of chronophilic orientations. A chronophilia is a distinct type of sexual attraction pattern that varies as a function of the ages of preferred sexual targets (Seto, 2017). The most studied chronophilic category is pedophilia, which is defined as a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to pre-pubertal children, typically between the ages of 3 and 10 years (Blanchard et al., 2009). However, Seto’s (2017) model of chronophilias takes a much broader view and acknowledges that some people may have sexual preferences for younger infants (nepiophilia), pubescent children aged 11–14 years (hebephilia), or older minors who, depending on the legal code of a given jurisdiction, may be below the age of consent (ephebophilia). This latter category is controversial, in that some argue how some level of sexual attraction to post-pubescent minors who are approaching the age of consent is a normative form of sexuality (for a discussion, see Stephens & Seto, 2016). Seto’s (2017) chronophilias continue to encompass attractions to adults of traditional reproductive age (teleiophilia), middle age (mesophilia), and older age (gerontophilia). For the purposes of this paper, we consider “minor attraction” to encompass the nepiophilic, pedophilic, and hebephilic attraction categories.Researchers believe that most MAPs are males (Seto, 2018a), which is consistent with work in relation to the prevalence of other forms of statistically atypical sexual interests (Joyal et al., 2015). Exploring the prevalence of minor attraction, studies have stated that 5–10% of male college students reported having sexual fantasies involving young children (Bagley et al., 1994; Templeman & Stinnett, 1991; Wurtele et al., 2014). Furthermore, a large community-based study of almost 9000 German men found that 4.1% reported having sexual fantasies involving children (Dombert et al., 2016; see also Santtila et al., 2010). Depending on the study method, these estimates of the prevalence of some degree of minor attraction can reach around 25% among men when using chat-room transcripts, where this proportion of men continued to sexualize a conversation that involved an ostensibly 14-year-old minor. That is not to say that 25% of men are primarily or even regularly sexually attracted to children, but this proportion appears to demonstrate a willingness to engage in non-contact sexual behaviors (in this case, sexualized online conversations) with individuals that they know or suspect to be below the legal age of consent. However, the more consistent prevalence estimates for minor attraction in a more clinical sense (i.e., involving directed masturbation to materials or fantasies involving children) congregate around 5% (Dombert et al., 2016; Santilla et al., 2010; Wurtele et al., 2014).
However, there is less prevalence-related research that has been conducted with women; of the few that have, it has been stated that between 1 and 4% of women declare a sexual attraction to children (Fromuth & Conn, 1997; Smiljanich & Briere, 1996). In Wurtele et al.’s (2014) work, the authors compared the prevalence of sexual attractions to children between men and women, finding that women expressed such sexual attractions at around one-quarter to one-third of the male prevalence rate (1–3% vs. 4–9%). However, a study of the prevalence of sexual fantasy use found that men and women do not statistically differ in their engagement with sexual fantasies that involve children under the age of 12 years (Joyal et al., 2015). This suggests that differences in the prevalence rates of sexual attractions to children between men and women may reflect differences in the prevalence of sexual attractions to older children or teenagers (i.e., in hebephilia). This observation is supported in the work of Bártová et al. (2021). In their wide-ranging work comparing the prevalence of paraphilias in men (n = 5,023) and women (n = 5,021) it was reported that pedophilic interest was expressed by 1.7% of men and 0.4% of women. However, when exploring hebephilic interests, the prevalence rates were 13.7% in men and 1.3% in women, reflecting a much larger sex difference. These disparities were also observed in relation to self-reported anticipated arousal to these paraphilic themes, sexual fantasy engagement, and pornography use.
What Do We Know About MAP Experiences?
Most work with MAPs is currently confounded by conviction status, in that our knowledge of this population (specifically pedophiles, who are the usual group studied in research) is based on data from samples that are, or have been, incarcerated for sexual offenses (Capra et al., 2014; Freimond, 2013; Horn et al., 2015). Although the population of individuals with sexual convictions and the MAP community represent different groups, phrases such as “pedophile” are commonly used as synonyms for convicted populations (Feelgood & Hoyer, 2008; Harper & Hogue, 2017; Harrison et al., 2010). This conflation occurs despite research evidence showing that the number of people who experience with an attraction to children far outnumber those who have committed child sexual offenses (Theaker, 2015), and that less than half of all individuals with child sexual offense convictions meet the clinical criteria for pedophilia (Schmidt et al., 2013; Seto, 2018a). As stated previously, there is also a burgeoning evidence base into “non-offending pedophiles” (Cantor & McPhail, 2016, p. 1) and other MAPs who do not offend that suggests that many individuals live in society while experiencing sexual attractions to children (Beier, 2019; Beier et al., 2009; Elchuk et al., 2021; Jahnke et al., 2015b; Lievesley et al., 2020). Although there may be some overlap between convicted samples recruited in prisons and community samples (the degree to which this overlap exists is currently unknown due to the logistical difficulties in obtaining a “representative” MAP sample), most of the available research that uses community-based MAPs recruit from online forums that strongly condemn offending behavior. As such, although offending status cannot be completely eliminated, studying individuals with sexual attractions to children who live in the community at least minimizes the extent to which offending propensities impact the data that are collected.Most of what we know currently comes from small-scale qualitative investigations, though these do all appear to report similar themes that indicate a degree of reliability in MAP accounts of their experiences. In one of the earliest analyses, Houtepen et al. (2016) reported how some MAPs liken their sexual development to other forms of sexuality, with an early age of recognition and a combination of both sexual and romantic attractions to children being experienced (see also Dymond & Duff, 2020; Martijn et al., 2020). According to the available literature on MAPs who are living within the community, a significant proportion of this population would like support in dealing with the psychosocial effects of living with their sexual attractions (B4U-ACT, 2011a; Elchuk et al., 2021; Lievesley et al., 2020). The most common topic of study in this regard is the experience of stigma. The effects of stigma appear to include depression, anxiety, and substance misuse conditions (e.g., Cohen et al., 2018; Elchuk et al., 2021; Raymond et al., 1999; Schaefer et al., 2010), social isolation (Elchuk et al., 2021; Jahnke et al., 2015b), and the internalization of stigma and self-loathing (Lievesley et al., 2020; McPhail & Stephens, 2020; Stevens & Wood, 2019). As an acknowledgment that these factors are known to increase the likelihood that an individual may sexually offend, some researchers have begun to discuss how MAP-directed support services should first aim to address mental health issues, with sexual offense prevention being a by-product of effective service provision (for a discussion, see Lievesley & Harper, 2021).
Exploring MAP experiences of living with their sexual attractions is a useful way of progressing social and professional discussions about the most suitable treatment approaches and targets. Common methods of coping among MAPs include the use of masturbation and sexual fantasy (Houtepen et al., 2016), internalized self-acceptance of unchosen sexual attractions (Dymond & Duff, 2020), and disclosure to others. The latter of these (i.e., disclosure) is a vital first step in obtaining external support, but many MAPs report having negative experiences when disclosing their sexual attractions (Grady et al., 2018; Levenson & Grady, 2019) and help-seeking histories are unrelated to mental health experiences (Lievesley et al., 2020). Reports of negative experiences within the MAP community lead to an inherent mistrust of professionals, which in turn results in a reluctance to seek support if or when it is needed (Dymond & Duff, 2020; Grady et al., 2018). This means that there is a need to develop mechanisms by which MAPs can feel comfortable to seek help or disclose their sexual attractions in a safe way and without judgment or persecution (Goodier & Lievesley, 2018; Grady et al., 2018; Levenson et al., 2017; Lievesley & Harper, 2021). We believe that the successful design of such mechanisms is contingent on having input from MAPs themselves, as understanding their experiences and needs should produce more responsive and effective therapeutic practices.
The Current Study
As outlined above, there has been a relatively recent emergence of research into the MAP community, their experiences of minor attraction, and how to support them in terms of improving their wellbeing and assisting them to remain offense-free (Dymond & Duff, 2020; Elchuk et al., 2021; Grady et al., 2018; Levenson & Grady, 2019; Lievesley et al., 2020). However, this research focuses primarily on the experiences of male MAPs and therefore potentially misses important experiences of female MAPs, who represent a fringe group within this already hidden population. There is a general lack of data currently available that pertain to female MAPs. However, given that there are well-documented sex differences among adult-attracted individuals in sexual selection strategies (Buss, 1998; Buss et al., 2020; Conroy-Beam et al., 2015; Schmitt et al., 2012), preferences for short- and long-term mating opportunities (Kennair et al., 2009; Pedersen et al., 2002; Schmitt et al., 2012; Townsend & Wasserman, 2011), and sex-related emotions such as jealousy, regret, and disgust (Al-Shawarf et al., 2018; Crosby et al., 2020; Kennair et al., 2016), it makes logical sense that such differences may also exist in the experiences of people with sexual attractions to children. We also know that gay men and lesbian women differ in the extent to which their experience psychosocial adjustment issues, with lesbian women seemingly faring better than their gay male counterparts (e.g., Shenkman & Toussia-Cohen, 2020). This better adjustment (operationalized as improved self-concept and lower depression scores) may be associated with more positive social attitudes toward lesbian women than gay men (Bettinsoli et al., 2020; Herek, 2002; LaMare & Kite, 1998; Pistella et al., 2018). This may be particularly relevant to the MAP context, where negative social attitudes have been linked to stigma-related stress (Jahnke et al., 2015b), the internalization of stigma, the suppression of sexual thoughts, and reduced wellbeing (Lievesley et al., 2020), and a reluctance to seek help when it is either wanted or needed (Dymond & Duff, 2020; Grady et al., 2018; Levenson & Grady, 2019). If this reduced level of stigma toward women from sexual minorities also applies to those with sexual attractions to children, this could highlight a difference in the needs of female MAPs that is currently hidden by the androcentric nature of existing MAP research.There are currently two published studies that report data from women who identify as MAPs, with these both presenting frequency analyses of sexual attraction patterns, the content of sexual fantasies, and female MAPs’ engagement with child abuse imagery. For example, Tozdan et al. (2020) compared a sample of 42 female MAPs to a control sample of 832 community-based women and found no differences between the groups in terms of self-reported sexual orientation (i.e., heterosexual vs. homosexual vs. bisexual), relationship status, or age. However, the MAP subsample was more likely to have engaged with child abuse imagery involving children and teenagers and had a significantly higher level of sexual fantasizing about children (with the largest between-groups difference being in relation to fantasies involving girls). Studying a smaller sample of female MAPs (n = 20, who were compared to 208 male MAPs), Stephens and McPhail (2021) reported how this group were less likely to be erotically attracted to girls (and more likely to be attracted to boys) than male MAPs. They were also more likely to report current adult-oriented sexual behaviors, which may correspond to a greater degree of sexual fluidity among female MAPs than men with sexual attractions to children (consistent with the broader sexuality literature that shows greater fluidity among women than men; Diamond, 2016; Geary et al., 2018; Kuyper & Vanwesenbeeck, 2009; Massey et al., 2021). However, few other differences were found in relation to sexual attractions, such as in relation to age of onset and duration of sexual attractions to children, exclusivity of these attractions, or the chronophilic orientations of their attractions. In both of these papers, a comparatively very small number of female MAPs were compared to either male MAPs or non-MAP community-based women, and the focus was on sexological features of their attractions to children. However, the experiences of living with sexual interests in children, from a phenomenological perspective, have yet to be explored.
As such, in this study we begin to address this knowledge gap by offering what we believe to be the first in-depth qualitative analysis of the experiences of women who have sexual attractions to children. It is important to note that we do not set out to compare the experiences of men and women who experience such attractions, nor do we assume similarities or differences between male and female MAP populations. In a similar vein, we do not intend to compare women with and without sexual attractions to children. Early sexological analyses of these kinds have already been presented by Stephens and McPhail (2021) and Tozdan et al. (2020), respectively. Instead, our principal aim is to offer an initial exploratory account of the lived experiences of female MAPs to inform future research studies and to provide recommendations about how to best support this group to both maximize their mental wellbeing and, where risks might exist, to prevent sexual offending.
