if u know that moment with saint hamudi when s driving, looking around, listening to music in his car, crying, so i had today the same moment as i had to leave my cave and go to drive somewhere and i looked outside of my car and i saw couples and foids, skinny, beautiful foids alone, it ripped me apart, i was crying deep down, my soul was crying, i felt despair and suffering, i felt so much pain in my heart but not physhical pain, emotional pain that ripped my heart, i felt in my stomach and heart emptiness, a hole that will be never filled, that desire of me wanting a foid that would love me ripped my soul and brain, looking at them, knowing that i will never have something like this, i will never experience this, she will never want me, its over, LDAR is the only choice in this life 
