Blackpill Three Key Events That Led To The Dismantling Of My Ego (My Path To Nihilism) - The Universe Was Relentless In Black Pilling Me

[RebornMordred26]

Can't leave my country atm because of Carona-chan. That requires the jab as well, which I'm not confident with because of my medical history.

 

[HateCurry]

Why do you write so long and descriptive if it's not for your ego or you think everything's meaningless?

Why do you try to help us?

 

[kay']

Ɓrutal​

 

[Emba]

Ɓrutal​

He was our best nigger...

Now he's gone. Left us to rot in our ignorance...

 

[ResidentHell]

Once you let go of your ego, so too does your morality go along with it over time, because morality is rooted to ones ego, all moralfags are egoists, that's not a coincidence, morality is inherently an egotistical position, because it requires you to believe in a "higher standard" and to value yourself based on how well you adhere to it, and devalue others as beneath you based on them not adhering to it

Any sense of morality I had the first few months after all that shit, gone, it just faded away, I seriously didn't even have to try, once your perspective changes, and you stop seeing yourself as "a person" and rather as just the consciousness inhabiting your body, a collective force of wants and desires that can perceive existence, morality doesn't matter, nothing matters, all that exists is your consciousness and what pleases it, and that's all you need to seek out, everything else is a distraction


I seriously believe that anyone who hasn't abandoned their ego yet just hasn't truly been black pilled yet, there are still aspects of their "humanity" that they are holding onto because they just haven't faced the "trauma" necessary for them to stop accepting certain lies

As men raised in this modern era, we all have certain lies that we all accept as truth because we were raised to, but not only that, these lies are comfortable lies, they make existence seem more "magical" and "meaningful"

Once you've been fully black pilled, you'll notice that you no longer cling to any of the things you were raised to think, you are a completely different "person" to your blue pilled self, in fact its like you aren't even a "person" anymore, you're no longer chained to the concepts of "personage" that once bound you

This was @BlkPillPres in his prime. This quote and his replies to bluepillers who challenged his stance on morality. Although I do have the opinion that ego is inherently tied to emotion, including anger, but “ego” is not necessarily “self-importance-oriented” - Ego can also be “identity-oriented”

An ego can serve as the basis of self-importance. But an ego can also serve as the basis of identity. Furthermore the identity and the self-importance of ego can be mutually exclusive. In other words there is a version of ego that is tied to “sense of self-identity”, and there is a version of ego that is tied to “sense of self-worth / self-importance”

My “identity” is partially based on hatred for things. This hatred enables me to maintain a sense of identity. It doesn’t mean I perceive myself as “important” or “high value” just because I hate something. It only means that my notion of “who I am”, is to some degree based on my hatred of certain things

Anger and hatred are the semantic description for the conscious experience of cortisol on the brain. Cortisol serves as the hormonal motivator for human action. You hate society and its members because you consider them ‘a threat to you’, but they are a threat to your ego and pride rather than to you yourself, that is why they engender an influx of cortisol which makes you feel anger towards them and that is why in your mind killing them at random will bring you satisfaction even when it has no practical end, you have not reduced the threat they pose to you by doing that, in fact you’ll have increased it exponentially, only pride and the ego can motivate someone to act so irrationally.

The claim about “cortisol”, the steroid hormone that “motivates human action” is in my opinion, bullshit. I’m not sure what was his source for this claim. There is not necessarily a lack of rationality in hatred - Hatred can be calculated and co-ordinated with one’s preferences or ambitions. It is possible for one to remain calculative, co-ordinated and hateful simultaneously. There are several anecdotal examples of this

A famous example is Al-Qaeda - A designated terrorist organization and its members have expressed their hatred of Western countries, United States especially. Al-Qaeda was reported to have carried out several successful attacks over the past few decades, including the 1998 US embassy suicide bombings in Kenya & Tanzania, the infamous 11th September 2001 attacks, and the 2003 bombings in Istanbul, Turkey. The German Reich (Nazi Germany) is also another prime example, the state that ruled Germany between 1933 to 1945, its members openly expressed their hatred of Jews, and historical sources claim there was an attempt by the German Reich to systematically eradicate Jews from Europe, known as the Holocaust. These examples show that hateful people can still be cunning and co-ordinated while in their hateful emotions

If I had an ambition, I would have reason to hate anything that I think would come into direct conflict with my ambition. At the very least, my ambition could be to self-preserve or protect one’s self from anything that I hate or disagree with. There is a rational incentive to self-preservation, if one has a desire. How can you be sure that all desire is “triggered” by some neural processes? By “neural”, do you mean material? How can you prove that all aspects of desire, derive from a material process? The cause of the existence of sentience is still yet to be discovered and validated to an indisputable degree under a biological / chemical framework

FYI not all people necessarily share the same ambitions and preferences. This is ultimately the unpredictable aspect of human nature - There’s no perfect method to determine exactly what each individual person will come to like or dislike, and there’s no way to know for certain if or when each individual person’s likes and dislikes will change in future

regardless of whether or not you have any pride in the accomplishment, an ice cold glass of lemonade will taste better if you have walked across an arid desert for it than if you have sat on your ass drinking lemonade all day and merely poured yourself another

This is a very prejudiced claim. The person could be suicidal to the extent that they would be dissatisfied by the taste of lemonade even after dehydrating themselves for several days. Most but not all humans seem to be subdued by their biological impulses – But there are some humans who seem to overcome the biological incentive, and do what would be considered as going against their “biological program” (monkhood, hermit, suicide etc.). For all you know, all humans in the world could suddenly transition to a “mass suicide mode”, where all of them suddenly attempt suicide simultaneously. If all humans in the world suddenly attempted suicide, perhaps it would be difficult to rationalize the cause behind this phenomenon. But no one can say with absolute certainty that this will not happen at any point in future

@ColdLightOfDay seems to have an anti-Platonist view of ego (a view that adheres to Psychologism or Physicalism). He most likely subscribed to the belief that all desires originate from a sort of physical phenomena, like “neural processes”. But as I’ve already said, there are unpredictable aspects of human nature that directly relate to “desire”:

(1) The exact same desires aren’t necessarily shared by all people. Hypothetically it’s possible for one set of people to have a desire that another set of people do not have​

(2) Desire is constantly suspectable to change. Basically a person who desires something can reach a stage where they no longer desire it​

(3) It is not possible to rationalize exactly why each individual person has the desires that they have. Basically there’s an element to the cause of desire that is arbitrary and uncontrollable. As Schopenhauer quotes, “One can choose what one wills. But one cannot will what one wills.” ​

 

[Bell128]

1. This was before I graduated to go on to university. I used to think of myself as someone who was pretty smart, in fact I took pride in it, I took pride in being known as one of the "top smart guys" in class, well my pride in my intelligence was destroyed in two phases, the first I didn't even notice because I ignored it, the 2nd was undeniable and it kind of killed all of my academic motivation

1.1 - I studied really hard to get to the top of the class only to be beaten by a guy who barely studied at all (based on his own words) because he had photographic memory (I think this is one of my most significant experiences about the unfairness of genetics)

1.2 - After the first year or so at university I started to realize how average I was, over time tbh my motivation began to dwindle and others seemed to be able to carry on and pass exams like it was nothing, probably because they had social lives, but still, there were a lot of smart guys there and I started to realize that if I kept competing in the realm of intelligence and didn't seek out alternatives or loopholes I'd be stuck never getting anything I want


2. I used to think I had a chance at dating, when I arrived at university I decided to "make a change", I went all out, I was more outgoing, I did a lot of approaching, etc. IT DID NOT MATTER, I am literally cringing right now writing this shit because I always flash back to the memories of the shit I did JFL

The last straw was when I started trying to court this girl who was below my looks league at the time (started to feel the cringe again), she seemed autistic too, even more so than me, things were going alright and I tried to make a move and she flinched, she pulled away, that shit hit me hard, because at that moment it truly sunk in for me, that even if I tried to date really low down I'd still fail, all motivation to approach was killed for me after that, I just stopped trying, my academic performance went down from there too


3. One of my friends fucking killed himself, and he was somewhat of a normie that dated and had sex, that was the last fucking straw for me, because I realized that nothing in my life that I planned was secure, he was part of a trio of friends (myself included) and I always thought it was going to be the three of us (the other one was attending the same university with me, the friend that killed himself was about to start that year, we'd be together again like the old times)

I think it was then that I realized that there are no rules, everything I was told about life was a lie, all of these experiences together showed me this, and one of the most important lessons from this one specifically, is that YOU CANNOT PLAN YOUR LIFE AROUND OTHERS, YOU CAN ONLY PLAN YOUR LIFE AROUND YOURSELF

Making plans based on your expectations of others is a huge flaw, you are the only constant, everything else is a variable, only make plans FOR YOU that are dependent on ONLY YOUR PARTICIPATION, then decide if you are going to let others "come along for the ride" (if even at all)





Those three things together ended my life as a normie, there are a lot more experiences compounded together that black pilled me, but those three in particular I think truly shaped me, they left me no room to cope

I completely abandoned any sense of pride as I realized how useless it would be to someone like me who could only derive pain and shame from having an ego, I just let it go, the same way that someone with cancer would just let that shit go if they could simply will it out of existence

Once you let go of your ego, so too does your morality go along with it over time, because morality is rooted to ones ego, all moralfags are egoists, that's not a coincidence, morality is inherently an egotistical position, because it requires you to believe in a "higher standard" and to value yourself based on how well you adhere to it, and devalue others as beneath you based on them not adhering to it

Any sense of morality I had the first few months after all that shit, gone, it just faded away, I seriously didn't even have to try, once your perspective changes, and you stop seeing yourself as "a person" and rather as just the consciousness inhabiting your body, a collective force of wants and desires that can perceive existence, morality doesn't matter, nothing matters, all that exists is your consciousness and what pleases it, and that's all you need to seek out, everything else is a distraction


I seriously believe that anyone who hasn't abandoned their ego yet just hasn't truly been black pilled yet, there are still aspects of their "humanity" that they are holding onto because they just haven't faced the "trauma" necessary for them to stop accepting certain lies

As men raised in this modern era, we all have certain lies that we all accept as truth because we were raised to, but not only that, these lies are comfortable lies, they make existence seem more "magical" and "meaningful"

Once you've been fully black pilled, you'll notice that you no longer cling to any of the things you were raised to think, you are a completely different "person" to your blue pilled self, in fact its like you aren't even a "person" anymore, you're no longer chained to the concepts of "personage" that once bound you

A lot of you might read this and think of it as a sad story, but TBH I'm glad these events happened, they stopped me from becoming someone that my current self would truly resent, I can see clearly the path I was heading on, I would have definitely ended up some loser betabuxx, no doubt about it, working a dead end low pay job too

The black pill saved me, but boy was it a brutal awakening, I was left no room to cope, its kind of ridiculous, I had no pride to fall back on to cope, and one of my friends offed himself around the same time (some months after) as my rejection from the girl beneath my looks league (well she was at the time), its like I was left no option but to accept the black pill, I had nowhere to retreat to mentally, I even started to think God was directly fucking with me JFL (if he exists maybe he was)

It all started back in highschool when i was around 14 years old .. even now i feel as if women will make fun of my looks behind my back ..i can just feel it as this feeling was what made my life miserable..i had always dreamt about smashing those girls head (not every girl but those who bullied me)