I realize that I will find solace in my work soon because it won't be mind numbing drone work anymore. I remember a time when I was young and oblivious to the blackpill, I used to love challenging frontiers in studies or sports. I gave up in community college and rotted after my mental model of the world was attuned to the blackpill. The usual response after years of abuse and no affection or physical touch and living like a humiliated dog rejected by family friends and society is well contemplating suicide. If you have some rightful anger left in you, it carries you through life because you don't want to give whores the satisfaction of you accelerating the natural process of inkwell death. But after contemplating suicide for the last 3 years of my life (going to turn 23 in a few months) I've reached a stage where I can push on now living selfishly out of self preservation. I'm getting more emotionally numb with occasional intense pangs of sadness, longing, and happiness spending time by myself and I actually enjoy these outbursts because they are so intense. Hopefully I get to whoremaxx till I die if I play my cards right after I turn 26/27.
To any inkwells planning suicide, just endure the trashy world and the pain and keep pushing till your inner child dies and you will become numb and your baseline emotions will be hate and anger but not enough to consume and cripple you but enough to navigate society once you accept your fate and place in it. I think I'm slowly understanding escortcels who reach old age.
tldr: don't kill yourself
I love you brocels. I'll go kill some whores in gta5 now
To any inkwells planning suicide, just endure the trashy world and the pain and keep pushing till your inner child dies and you will become numb and your baseline emotions will be hate and anger but not enough to consume and cripple you but enough to navigate society once you accept your fate and place in it. I think I'm slowly understanding escortcels who reach old age.
tldr: don't kill yourself
I love you brocels. I'll go kill some whores in gta5 now
