In short, lack of self-awareness.
I honestly believe that the incel community (if you can call it that) is actually more self-aware than most normies are. We're under no delusions, we know our place in society. We know we're repulsive to women. We're especially perceptive in picking up IODs (Indicators of Disinterest) as we've been given them countless times, both subtly and not-so-subtly.
Youtubers, on the other hand, often completely lack any sort of self-awareness. This is especially pronounced in youtubers who have channels dedicated to gaming, anime, or some random niche topic. To make matters worse, a lot of youtubers let their fame get to their head, which only serves to artificially inflate their egos, thus their lack of self-awareness. That's why so many youtubers end up doing tons of cringy shit and end up becoming "lolcows" or "cringelords" to everyone outside of their fanbase. So when they go to kiss their wives/girlfriends and they recoil, they don't even notice it and if they see it on video, they either still wouldn't notice it or at most, just chalk it up to them "being shy because of the camera".
The thought that their girlfriends/wives are just using them for money never even crosses their minds. In their mind, their (fleeting) relevance on youtube makes them equal to or greater than a Chad. So when they inevitably get cucked, dumped and/or divorce-raped, it comes as a shock to them, and often leads to mental breakdowns (sometimes even happening on camera) and a bout of extreme depression, which show in their content, especially if they livestream (as they can't edit things out).
