r/aspergersPosted by u/BhaalHammonIsGreat 17 hours ago
Adult aspies who crashed and burned: did you find motivation again?
I (37M) just came out of 7 years of building, investing in myself and my SO, investing in my business, build healthy routines, the whole shabang. I thought that if I had all those things lined up correctly, I would feel less alone/restless. That it was just a big puzzle and if I had all the pieces in the right place it would give me some peace.
After having all the pieces in place it changed absolutely nothing about how I felt. I actually got super depressed and suicidal because I worked so hard and so long for this and it just didn't change anything. My relationship imploded and now I have to move back to my parents again.
It's like there is something inside of me that just makes me feel empty and alone, no matter what condition I am in.
Family and the few friends I have expect me to 'recover', get independent again and get a structured happy life. I know I can do the steps again for self care, keep my business going etc. But I did all the steps already and it was exhausting. I can't find the motivation to put in the work again and I lost hope that 'one more time around will do it'.
Anyone recognize this and found a way to motivate yourself? I am just going trough the motions right now and I will do all the work necessary like some sort of robot. But it's weird doing it without any belief things will get better.
