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There's a book called...

J

Jexistential_

Greycel
Joined
Nov 10, 2017
Posts
17
"Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus," pure White-Night garbage philosophy but made sound logical sense in some cases.

I took notes of the first three chapters, I've read half the book but rereading and typing these points is time-consuming.

Pdf: https://studied.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/john-gray-men-are-from-mars-women-are-from-venus.pdf .

Blue equals highly relevant, informative information.

Chapter One:
  1. Men expect women to think, communicate, act the way men do and vice versa.*
  2. When members of both sexes understand that their counterparts act, think, recognizing and respecting these differences dramatically reduces confusion when dealing with the opposite sex.
  3. when we are not aware of our differences, we do not take the time to understand and respect each other, we become demanding, resentful, judgmental, and intolerant.
Chapter Two:
  1. When women talk about their problems, they're not looking for solutions, rather, they are seeking empathy. This is why when a man offers solutions, she feels as though "he is not listening' and thus she gets in a foul mood for 'invalidating' her feelings with those god-awful solutions.
  2. Conversely, men derive self-worth through 'being needed' and thus perform tasks such as 'fixing furniture,' although, when a woman criticizes a man's ability to perform a task, he feels as though he is useless and that his wife does not trust him to provide for her.
  3. Allegedly, when a woman offers advice to a man she is 'nurturing' him, and wants him to 'grow' as a person.
  4. When a man offers solutions to a woman, he is trying to feel useful and needed.
  5. A man's sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results.
  6. Men are geared towards acquire physical things to convey their ability to achieve results.
  7. Men perceive asking for help when one is perfectly capable of performing a task as a sign of weakness unless one is incapable of performing a task, in which case, asking for help is a sign of 'wisdom.'
  8. Men assume that when women vent their issues that they are asking for advice (to me this sounds like men on average know that women are incapable of solving their own issues, which is obvious since they only vent their problems instead of reaching solutions).
  9. Women 'value love, communication, beauty, and relationships.' 'They spend a lot of time supporting, helping, and nurturing one another. "Their sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships.' 'They experience fulfillment through sharing and relating.'
  10. 'Proving one's competence is not as important to a Venusian, offering help is not offensive' (OH, but when a man offers solutions shit hits the fan).
  11. Women don't recognize that 'men are sensitive' and they offer advice them which makes them feel inadequate (men are sensitive??? It seems like there's a double standard that says women are entitled to criticize men but not the other way around... strange...)
  12. When a man's attempts to solve a woman's problems are rejected several times he says 'aww fuck it' and leaves the woman alone, which is supposedly a bad thing since women only vent their issues for them to be heard by a man.
  13. Women only want men to solve their issues after they have vented, it's at that point that the man can strategically time his response lending his hand to help the woman, but if she's still hostile she will lash for him not dropping it.
Chapter Three:
  1. Basically 'men go to their caves,' a coping mechanism for dealing with stress, when either their women or their jobs are making them feel inept, where they focus on minute issues, the worlds issues, politics, football, to distract themselves from the bigger issues that they face.
  2. Men 'leave their caves' when they solve the problems or feel less stressed.
  3. 'It's important for woman to respect the cave' because trying to drag a man out of it will lead to greater mental instability. I could imagine a woman trying to give advice to a man while he's in the cave, then he'd really feel like shit I'd imagine.
 

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