I was at the store the other night. I was stocking up on holiday provisions. It was time to stock up on my favorite staple, ground chicken. It's light, it's lean, I don't even need to season it, it's that good. And they always have piles of it. Nobody touches that ground chicken except me. And every time I'm there, they've got plenty of it. I was there on Sunday and they had, like, 20 packs at least.
But I went last night. and it was all replaced by ground turkey.
Have you ever been so fucked that you found yourself just wandering around, waiting for your fortune to magically change? I came all that way for ground chicken, and there was none. I was at a loss for what to do. I started searching aisles. Aisles I'd already checked. Aisles that couldn't possibly hold ground chicken. I don't know what I hoped would happen, would someone from the back come out with a fresh batch? What are they doing back there if not grinding up the meats??? If the chicken is gone, you make more, right??? But I couldn't just go hungry. So I bought what they had. Turkey. Which is a full 60 cents more expensive a pop. I really didn't have the money for it. But life isn't fair. Especially not to incels.
So I rock up to the counter with my expensive and probably bad tasting turkey. The cashier asks "Didja find everything okay?" And I almost say "Yes" because I figure conversations like these don't actually matter, we're just passing the time and the cashier is just making an effort to be able to say they connected with the customer. But I say "Oh, uh, you're out of ground chicken." And the cashier asks "Did you ask somebody? "
And my mouth said "Ohhhhhh..." but my heart said "Isn't that just like society to have some secret goddamn rules or game to get what's basic in life??? I'm a good man. I just want some chicken. How am I supposed to know that if there's no chicken, I'm supposed to find a butcher and talk to them??? I thought that was their job, not mine! Not MY job to keep up on the meat supply! And where would I find a butcher anyway??? They're all in the back!!! Am I supposed to just loiter by the door and wait for somebody to come out??? How am I supposed to know these things???" The cashier was already ringing up my turkey. And sperg that I am, I didn't know what to do. Is the cashier ringing it up because it's too late for me to ask? Should I say something? Because I want chicken if I can get it. This isn't me saying "Oh, you have chicken? Nevermind, I already bought this turkey." But the cashier gets on the horn with the people in the back and the cashier confirms that they're out of chicken. Pyrrhic. Not as bad as being stuck with turkey when I could've had chicken, but I'm still stuck with turkey. This was the best I can do.
So here I am, with all this turkey to eat that has effectively bankrupted me with how expensive it is. And this shit? It's chewy. Like bubblegum made out of fat. I cut into it and there's this springy give to it, like cutting open a balloon filled with blood. But it's all I have to eat until New Year's.
But I went last night. and it was all replaced by ground turkey.
Have you ever been so fucked that you found yourself just wandering around, waiting for your fortune to magically change? I came all that way for ground chicken, and there was none. I was at a loss for what to do. I started searching aisles. Aisles I'd already checked. Aisles that couldn't possibly hold ground chicken. I don't know what I hoped would happen, would someone from the back come out with a fresh batch? What are they doing back there if not grinding up the meats??? If the chicken is gone, you make more, right??? But I couldn't just go hungry. So I bought what they had. Turkey. Which is a full 60 cents more expensive a pop. I really didn't have the money for it. But life isn't fair. Especially not to incels.
So I rock up to the counter with my expensive and probably bad tasting turkey. The cashier asks "Didja find everything okay?
" And I almost say "Yes" because I figure conversations like these don't actually matter, we're just passing the time and the cashier is just making an effort to be able to say they connected with the customer. But I say "Oh, uh, you're out of ground chicken." And the cashier asks "Did you ask somebody? "And my mouth said "Ohhhhhh..." but my heart said "Isn't that just like society to have some secret goddamn rules or game to get what's basic in life??? I'm a good man. I just want some chicken. How am I supposed to know that if there's no chicken, I'm supposed to find a butcher and talk to them??? I thought that was their job, not mine! Not MY job to keep up on the meat supply! And where would I find a butcher anyway??? They're all in the back!!! Am I supposed to just loiter by the door and wait for somebody to come out??? How am I supposed to know these things???" The cashier was already ringing up my turkey. And sperg that I am, I didn't know what to do. Is the cashier ringing it up because it's too late for me to ask? Should I say something? Because I want chicken if I can get it. This isn't me saying "Oh, you have chicken? Nevermind, I already bought this turkey." But the cashier gets on the horn with the people in the back and the cashier confirms that they're out of chicken. Pyrrhic. Not as bad as being stuck with turkey when I could've had chicken, but I'm still stuck with turkey. This was the best I can do.
So here I am, with all this turkey to eat that has effectively bankrupted me with how expensive it is. And this shit? It's chewy. Like bubblegum made out of fat. I cut into it and there's this springy give to it, like cutting open a balloon filled with blood. But it's all I have to eat until New Year's.
