People care about your school and work.
I consistently receive disappointing responses to my answers about my work or education. As I try to meet many new people, they'll often ask me things like, "Do you go to UC Berkeley?" Or maybe "What company do you work at?" I'll reply back to the tune of "No, I'm not doing anything useful in my life." The questions sting deep. I am just not capable of doing those things. I don't have any job or any internship experience, and I don't even know if I will ever get a degree - and I'm Asian! Today, someone I'd met even suggested I go for a big tech job, and they themselves probably could. All the other Asian guys (and girls!) are doing fun things in the city but I can't partake in their world. We're a community that I'm not actually a part of. "Successful" is the script of the bay area Asian, and I'm the glaring typo to be cast aside. Do you think a girl would go for me when there are dozens of identical clones of me in SF, but 150k/year richer? It just sucks to be written off so immediately like an "ick." Growing up in an area of high achievers, many of whom had moved here from around and outside the country for the local opportunities, I'm the worst outcome. Most everyone I know is graduating and hoping for job offers. Disappointment follows me everywhere.
While hunting for new friends, we eventually collide. I might appear normal at first; I've been practicing my socializing skills for a very long time now and dress quite decently. I try to be fun and friendly. I break the ice and the silence and I fit the clothes I wear. I speak cohesively - you couldn't tell I learned how to talk just from watching Youtube videos less than a year ago. To other dudes, I give off a very decent impression. Fatally, I haven't improved at all my social status. I'm a bum who does not meet any minimum qualification for proper employment. I've come across many people that I'd gotten along with, but I always hear the disappointment in their tones when they learn a bit more about me. I get ready to hear the stretched out "ohhh" and an awkward silence as I literally have no more to say. I'm not perceived as somebody who could partake in other peoples' lives as I have little future prospects. You can't be a friend when you're static, unchanging in life. Soon my fun words will run out and I'll have nothing new to offer. I feel like Peter Pan but my former friends were the adults. You can't be a partner when you can't provide. That ability is perhaps the most basic requirement for a relationship.
What's funny is that other low status people get along with me best, and I hear relief when they learn that I'm like them. That we don't feel inferiority to one another. Maybe we're holding each other down when we're not holding each other accountable; friends often push each other to go to the best schools and get the best jobs. The NEET community could portray this, where solace is found when others like you simply live in peace. Most people I've befriended are baristas and community college students. I am happy to have people fun as them that do with me the things I enjoy, but I fear for our financial futures.
Having a job does matter for social reasons. The causes for unemployment may be circular: I've been alone, and that made me depressed, and I'm unmotivated in school, so I'm unemployed and under-socialized, and that keeps people away. I ignore certain invites, I lock myself away, and I let time and opportunities slip by. That loop smothers motivation and locks us into Neetdom. Self sabotaging behavior comes from within, and that is our response to the harsh world we live. We must break out.
I've been reflecting on the question of what motivates us to do the things we do. I'd always get depressed and would leave school for weeks. I am totally insecure about my job situation. I'm realizing now that other people, and myself, would only allow me to progress in social terms when economic progress is achieved first. Status improvements allow for social improvements. Remember that school or apprenticeships get you more than a job but the ability to move out, gain independence, and self-advocacy. Then you'll be proper dating material. I call for all readers to get educated, skilled, and employed. I'm going to commit to educating myself, as this may be the most impactful investment, let alone my last option. There's plenty of reason for you to do the same, but the clock is ticking and the train preparing to depart. When someone next asks me where I work, I'll tell them about the bright plan I'm following.
TLDR don't NEET. Get education. You'll be the odd one out and never in
I consistently receive disappointing responses to my answers about my work or education. As I try to meet many new people, they'll often ask me things like, "Do you go to UC Berkeley?" Or maybe "What company do you work at?" I'll reply back to the tune of "No, I'm not doing anything useful in my life." The questions sting deep. I am just not capable of doing those things. I don't have any job or any internship experience, and I don't even know if I will ever get a degree - and I'm Asian! Today, someone I'd met even suggested I go for a big tech job, and they themselves probably could. All the other Asian guys (and girls!) are doing fun things in the city but I can't partake in their world. We're a community that I'm not actually a part of. "Successful" is the script of the bay area Asian, and I'm the glaring typo to be cast aside. Do you think a girl would go for me when there are dozens of identical clones of me in SF, but 150k/year richer? It just sucks to be written off so immediately like an "ick." Growing up in an area of high achievers, many of whom had moved here from around and outside the country for the local opportunities, I'm the worst outcome. Most everyone I know is graduating and hoping for job offers. Disappointment follows me everywhere.
While hunting for new friends, we eventually collide. I might appear normal at first; I've been practicing my socializing skills for a very long time now and dress quite decently. I try to be fun and friendly. I break the ice and the silence and I fit the clothes I wear. I speak cohesively - you couldn't tell I learned how to talk just from watching Youtube videos less than a year ago. To other dudes, I give off a very decent impression. Fatally, I haven't improved at all my social status. I'm a bum who does not meet any minimum qualification for proper employment. I've come across many people that I'd gotten along with, but I always hear the disappointment in their tones when they learn a bit more about me. I get ready to hear the stretched out "ohhh" and an awkward silence as I literally have no more to say. I'm not perceived as somebody who could partake in other peoples' lives as I have little future prospects. You can't be a friend when you're static, unchanging in life. Soon my fun words will run out and I'll have nothing new to offer. I feel like Peter Pan but my former friends were the adults. You can't be a partner when you can't provide. That ability is perhaps the most basic requirement for a relationship.
What's funny is that other low status people get along with me best, and I hear relief when they learn that I'm like them. That we don't feel inferiority to one another. Maybe we're holding each other down when we're not holding each other accountable; friends often push each other to go to the best schools and get the best jobs. The NEET community could portray this, where solace is found when others like you simply live in peace. Most people I've befriended are baristas and community college students. I am happy to have people fun as them that do with me the things I enjoy, but I fear for our financial futures.
Having a job does matter for social reasons. The causes for unemployment may be circular: I've been alone, and that made me depressed, and I'm unmotivated in school, so I'm unemployed and under-socialized, and that keeps people away. I ignore certain invites, I lock myself away, and I let time and opportunities slip by. That loop smothers motivation and locks us into Neetdom. Self sabotaging behavior comes from within, and that is our response to the harsh world we live. We must break out.
I've been reflecting on the question of what motivates us to do the things we do. I'd always get depressed and would leave school for weeks. I am totally insecure about my job situation. I'm realizing now that other people, and myself, would only allow me to progress in social terms when economic progress is achieved first. Status improvements allow for social improvements. Remember that school or apprenticeships get you more than a job but the ability to move out, gain independence, and self-advocacy. Then you'll be proper dating material. I call for all readers to get educated, skilled, and employed. I'm going to commit to educating myself, as this may be the most impactful investment, let alone my last option. There's plenty of reason for you to do the same, but the clock is ticking and the train preparing to depart. When someone next asks me where I work, I'll tell them about the bright plan I'm following.
TLDR don't NEET. Get education. You'll be the odd one out and never in
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