What piqued your interest in the incel community?
Generally, I would say my real interest in learning more about the community came after I sought out communities online that consisted of short men talking about their struggles, since I myself am a considerably short man (5'3"). I wouldn't label these communities 'incel communities' in of themselves, but I felt and experienced the disdain that people, particularly women, had for these communities.
I would say that this led me to beginning to feel that, no matter what, I was damned and looked down upon by people no matter what I did. I, for one, felt the disdain and disrespect that people naturally gave to me for being short when I wasn't in these communities—and then when I did join a community full of people like me—I was then looked badly upon for being a part of them.
I would say this led to me further being radicalized, and that the only people that cared about me were the ones in these 'short men' communities. I felt abandoned, and soon further moved onto incel communities.
Generally, I would say my real interest in learning more about the community came after I sought out communities online that consisted of short men talking about their struggles, since I myself am a considerably short man (5'3"). I wouldn't label these communities 'incel communities' in of themselves, but I felt and experienced the disdain that people, particularly women, had for these communities.
I would say that this led me to beginning to feel that, no matter what, I was damned and looked down upon by people no matter what I did. I, for one, felt the disdain and disrespect that people naturally gave to me for being short when I wasn't in these communities—and then when I did join a community full of people like me—I was then looked badly upon for being a part of them.
I would say this led to me further being radicalized, and that the only people that cared about me were the ones in these 'short men' communities. I felt abandoned, and soon further moved onto incel communities.
What personal experiences or challenges related to dating, relationships, or social interactions led you to consider joining the incel community?
I mean, I was always a short kid, usually the shortest in class. That led to me being teased, but I would never say that it was particularly bullying. We were just kids, it didn't mean much to us, I suppose.
However, as I grew into adolescence, I often had these expectations from others that I'd grow taller, but I never really did grow all that much. As other kids around me grew, I still remained one of the shorter guys. The teasing became outright mockery, and whenever a female classmate wanted to get at me, she'd often resort to making fun of my height.
But when people ask a question in this vein, I typically answer with one particular incident that led to me truly disassociating from my height and growing to hate myself. I have a little sister, roughly 4 years younger than I. I really did want to be that 'cooler older brother' that she had. That teenager who her friends would see and wonder what he was like. I cared for my sister, and I often would walk her to and from the bus stop that she'd go to school with. However, one day, she informed me that she didn't want to be seen with me anymore. When I asked her why, she told me that it was because all the kids on the bus would laugh at me because of my height.
She asked me to simply hide behind a tree away from the bus from now on. That was the day I came to realize that I was a subhuman, someone not fit for this world—a genetic dead end that should have died in a war.
I guess those experiences led to her outright just disliking me in general, and she often began to mock me for my height, too.
Today, I have mentally disowned her, and I no longer can consider her my sister. I've taken on fictional sisters that exist solely within my mind, so that I can finally be that 'cool old brother' I yearned to be. It's difficult to explain.
Can you recount any specific events or moments that made you decide to become a part of the incel community?
You can just generally take what I've said before about the 'short men communities' and the incident with my sister to answer this question.
List three feelings you experienced that led you to joining the incel community.
Disassociation, loneliness, and hopelessness.
In your own words, what do you feel you hoped to gain or achieve by joining the incel community?
Community, for the most part. People who were like me, people who understood me, for they struggled as I did. People I didn't feel like I had to puff my chest up to, just to gain a feigned semblance of respect.
How do you perceive the incel community in terms of its values, beliefs, and goals? How did these align with your own views and experiences?
This is a difficult question to answer for me, for the most part, since I don't think I'm too intelligent, nor able to articulate myself particularly well. However, I'll try my best.
In terms of the 'values,' I can only suppose this is in reference to how we view things such as masculinity and how we think relationships are. As an incel myself, I think it would be dishonest to say that the incel community holds one particular over-arching view on these things. So I do not think I can particularly comment on them.
As for the beliefs, I would say that, again, it varies, but I can at least answer this one clearly since it's more defined than our 'values,' so to say. Generally, I find no objection to the vast majority of common incel beliefs. I do indeed believe all women have no desire to be with physically unattractive males, and that any claim that suggests otherwise is dishonest.
Occam's Razor suggests, or at least if you really wanted to simplify it, that the most likely explanation for any given thing is the one that requires the least amount of assumptions.
The typical explanation or rebuttal to incel rhetoric is that attraction is somehow this complex thing, and that women might have preferences that literally go against their biological urge to procreate with the strongest male and feel protected. And then, to tell me that the real reason women likely don't want to be with me is because they can just magically sense my misogyny. However, when misogynistic, good-looking men are accounted for, mental gymnastics are given to justify why women get into relationships with these men.
Or, we have my explanation, which is that women just care about whoever is attractive. This is logically sound and makes sense from an evolutionary perspective.
If you are still a part of it, what motivates you to remain in the incel community?
I have no where else to go. Who will accept me, otherwise? I am lonely, and I could never cut off the people that have shown me kindness and community. I would not take my own life, but I would certainly be miserable. I would have to further delude myself and conjure up more imaginary friends to try and fight off the desolation.
Have your motivations for being a part of the incel community evolved or changed over time? If so, what prompted these changes?
I'd like to think so, but, in retrospective, it has always remained the same. I just want to be a part of something for once.
Can you share any personal insights or realizations that you've had as a result of your involvement in the incel community?
This is a rather broad question, but if I were to choose one thing, it would be that I realized people like myself are simply genetic dead ends. There is no happy ending for us, we were meant to die in a war so that the heroes could go back home and celebrate with their families.
We were the ones meant to starve as the stronger man stole our food from us and the women flocked to him. We were not meant to live. We're anomalies, beings that should not be considered human. A lower race.
My beliefs, my stories, my memories, my thoughts, my likes, my dislikes, my will, what makes me smile, what makes me laugh, what makes me cry, what makes me frown—none of it matters, and it may as well not exist, for it shouldn't have existed to begin with.
It is out of place, for nature, and perhaps fate itself, would have had me killed and rooted out of this world long ago. With my continued existence, I am inherently 'wrong,' inherently 'null.' Something that shouldn't be there, something that shouldn't be defined, and yet is.
That is our existence. That is what it means to be an incel.
Did you explore alternative ways to address the issues or challenges that initially led you to the incel community? If so, what were these alternatives, and why did you choose or not choose them?
No, not particularly. There is the 'red-pill,' which dictates that you must do certain things to appear strong and attractive to women, but that advice can only truly apply if you're held back by things such as your weight, hygiene, or other malleable factors.
I am cripplingly short, there was nothing I could do, and I knew that.
How, if at all, did joining the incel community impact your perceptions of yourself, your relationships, or your interactions with others in the real world?
I further came to accept my damnation, and simply rest within it. I couldn't look at my face any longer, nor could I accept it as mine. I refused to look into the mirror, and I refused to imagine my face anymore. I thought it a blessing, actually, that God perhaps put the eyes on the face, so that I would never have to see myself aside from my hands, body, and legs.
I deluded myself further, imagining my face being permanently obscured by darkness, and trying my hardest to believe that is what I looked like in the real world. It worked slightly, but I can't truly make it work the same way I can imagine fictional characters as my family. If it were socially acceptable to wear a full mask, I would like to—so that I could finally go out and socialize with others and take part in activities that I've wanted to be a part of for a while. Alas, though, it is not, so I continue to stay inside my room.
Have you faced any criticisms or negative reactions from friends, family, or acquaintances regarding your involvement in the incel community? If so, how did you respond to these reactions?
It is rare for any of us to inform others of our participation in these communities. The social stigma is just far too great. I have not explicitly told anyone, but I do imagine my mother one day would like me to marry. When that day comes, I may have to have the long and difficult conversation to her about why that's simply not possible. I don't look forward to it, nor do I think it will be easy for her to accept, but that's reality.
What are your future plans or intentions with regard to your involvement in the incel community?
I never plan to leave. I couldn't. I will continue interacting with them until I perish, for I see them as my brothers.
Is there anything else you would like to share about your experiences, thoughts, or feelings related to being a part of the incel community?
Just please leave us alone. There are very few cases of incels ever actually committing violent acts. We're already ostracized from society, there is no need to continue kicking us while we're down.
