Really good guide and humorous post, even if barely any of us will ever use the guide, basically successful wealthmaxxers and larpers only.
I actually have little to add, except maybe that you should get a paternity test, in secret, as early as possible to avoid any stupid "shock" and "I just don't know what to do" later on.
Also it's on the list but I can't help reinforcing it, one of the most important pieces of knowledge is relocating with the roastie somewhere else, they all keep in touch with exes on FB, it's like a sport or hobby.... the knowledge that they do this, it's almost subconscious, it works to make me feel an urge to relocate somewhere far away if I ever find someone, the urge is strong and almost foreign until I realise that it's because their hometown is a cesspool of exes.