I've been watching porn for a long time now, ever since I was 12. I've been an incel since then as well. I'm also willing to admit I'm an addict; many aren't. Addiction runs deep in my family. I've lost two cousins and my father to drug overdoses. Addiction runs deep in my family, and I was told not to touch drugs ever. I haven't since. I did get hooked on porn, however, and I was never warned against it, so there's that. I hope porn addiction is treated like drug addiction in the future to prevent cases like mine. Obviously, with porn addiction, vanilla porn isn't enough after a while, so more "novel" stimuli are needed as time progresses. That's a topic for another time. One of the things I've come to know is that all porn involving a male is cuckoldry, even if it's hentai; it has the same effect, it's another man, not you, involved in sex. Taking it a step further, the men are usually better than you as well, doubling the effect. I can pinpoint my faults and failings succinctly when it comes to listing the attributes that make me "inferior". The real trauma is the realization that I'm powerless in changing the biggest, most potent points; that's when I knew I was condemned. I wanted to try and ascend to a point where it doesn't matter that I watched porn, I may as well have been one of the male pornstars, as I possess their level of masculinity. It just wouldn't matter to me anymore if I were taller, better looking, packing more; the fact is, I'd be superior, or on their level. There's a level of status you get where you're virtually unmoggable, I wish I were in that caste. What would it matter that they have all this sex, and I cucked myself watching it? Might as well have been me in the video. I think everyone has this need to feel superior. We used to be violent and kill each other to prove it and feel it. Now that we're castrated, sex is the only other avenue and that is gatekept by immutable traits for us. Violence would solve the problem; no one can give a decent opinion in the aftermath. What's done is done. Too bad we're "civilized" now, but I digress. Why does porn bother me so much? Because this is my only life, and no great man would sully his consciousness with it. Too bad I didn't know that then.
