Cope The only cope that worked for me

[lagaga]

Around three years ago i got to the highest point in my depression. And then i found it.
A way to not think and to not feel. I punished myself everytime i had a thought or feeling . Until my mind was completely blank. I went thru terrible things in the past 3 years but i rarely felt anything (and even in those little feelings had i forgot what i was sad about quick).
Now i probably look extremely mentally retarded to the people who see me but idc.
Now that i cant think ,im not socially anxious and can just say anything i want.

 

[gotet]

Ok

 

[Itsoverm8]

I punished myself everytime i had a thought or feeling

And how did you do that?

 

[lagaga]

And how did you do that?

Hitting myself however hard i needed to, putting a robber band on my wrist to pull, forcing myself to go outside before a mental breakdown