These are the holy scriptures of Chud, the first in line to the throne of Westfalen. Despair and misfortune be unto his name. It's over
The Preordained Duty of Chud
1 The Prince of Westfalen, Chud attended to the duties of the wage slave, for it was set out for him before he was born
2 As he was located inside of the edifice in which his wageful duties had been preestablished, the burger on the stove began to overheat on the verge of total incineration
3 Chud was hesitant to fulfil his wageful duties, and ts he was about to abscond the edifice, the helpless burger spaketh onto Chud:
4 “Thy burger must not flip thyself, for it is the Chud that must flip thy burger”
5 Chud respondeth in discourse, and Chud spake onto the helpless burger: “Thy possesseth slop in thy household; thy is not required to flip the immobilized burger in order to resume thy cope”
6 The immobilized burger answereth onto Chud, “Thou must not live on slop alone, but by the shekels that are bequeathed onto him by his financial masters”
7 As Chud piteously attempted to defend himself from the remarks of the immobilized burger, Chud respondeth, “I will neetbux”. But the burger spaketh onto Chud:
8 “Thou art alone, and thou own nothing. Thou surviveth as a tenant of the edifice that is leaseth unto him by the master of the edifice in which he hath lodged as a tenant. Thine tenancy will be jeopardized if thou discontinueth his wageful duties to the helpless burger”
9 Finally, Chud conceded to the remarks of the immobilized burger, and he returned to his dutues
10 He flipped the helpless burger, restoring its freshness and aptness for consumption by automated biological mechanisms, otherwise known as "normies". By doing this, the Prince of Westfalen had recognized his fate as a wagie, and had conceeded to the fact that he would fulfil his wageful purpose in life until further notice or death
The Parable of the Fallen Oofy Doofy Civilization
11 As Chud completed the daily quotas of his wageful services, he changed out of his wagie cloth back into his insouciant attire. He then vacated the edifice
12 As Chud journeyed back to his leasehold to rest in preparation for another day of wageslavery, he came across a crowd of sigma males assembled in front of a mysterious wojack who seemed to have been orating towards the crowd of sigma males
13 Chud temporarily halted his journey and observed the spectacle from afar behind the crowd of sigma males. And the mysterious wojak delivered a sermon onto the crowd of sigma men:
14 Once upon a time, there was a civilization of 100 men and 100 women. At first, they liveth in peace, but at some later stage, they became divided
15 It was not merely a single incident that caused the division, but various incidents that had embroiled the community. From cheating, to scamming, and all other types of devious activities
16 A war broke out, 50 men against the 50 other men. All the women stood by and watched the confrontation from afar. By the end of the war, only 30 men remained. They calleth a truce and buried or cremated the bodies of the other 70 men that had been slain during the war
17 A few years later, a second war would break out between the 30 men; 15 men vs 15 men. Again, all the women stood by and watched the confrontation from afar. By the end of the second war, only 15 men remained. Again, they calleth a truce and buried or cremated the bodies of the other 15 men that had been slain during the war
18 A few years later, a third war would break out. There were some 90 males born before or after the second war that had become old enough to fight. They were fed and prepared for duties that required extensive and heavy effort as they aged into able-bodied men
19 Thus, the third war was between 100 men; 50 men vs 50 men. Again, all the women stood by and watched the confrontation from afar. By the end of the third war, only 30 men remained. Again, they calleth a truce, and buried or cremated the bodies of the other 70 men who had been slain
20 Every few years, another war would break out. More men would die. All the women would stand by and watched the confrontation from afar. Another truce would be called, the bodies of the slain men would be buried or cremated
21 But one day, a mysterious naval army had bordereth the shores of the land that was occupied by the civilization. This was an unexpected transpiring; the kingdom from which the naval army had originated was unbeknownst to the men of the oofy doofy civilization
22 It was not known where the naval army had originated from, but their arsenal was much more advanced, their soldiers were acuter and fiercer. The mysterious navy possesseth a similar number of men as to the number of men in the civilization, but the power of the navy was more immense
23 The mysterious navy made a proposition to the civilization: “Bequeath your women, your gold and any other objects of wealth onto us, or face the wrath of our navy”
24 However the men of the oofy doofy civilization declined the offer, and respondeth “Thine will not surrender thy property onto thou. See to it thou will face thine wrath for such a preposterous offer”
25 Thus, the oofy doofy civilization waged war with the mysterious naval army, but the naval army ultimately achieved victory over the oofy doofy men by a crushing defeat. This was the only war in which the women of the civilization provided support to their fellow men in combat, but their efforts proved to be futile against the formidable naval army
26 In the aftermath, the women of the oofy doofy civilization were captured, and forceth into sex slavery by the soldiers of the naval army. All other male survivors from the conquered oofy doofy civilization were either executed or banished to wander the barren wilderness alone with a low expectancy of survival. This was the fate of the oofy doofy civilization
27 A sigma male in the crowd spake onto the mysterious wojak, “O wise wojak, what is the message of this parable by which our knowledge shall be multiplied?”
28 The mysterious wojak respondeth onto the crowd, “The message for thou are this: Do not fight over thine woman. For thy will only bring misery and suffering onto his fellow man, and will make thyself become too weak and impotent to defend thyself in the face of foreign invaders. By the grace of St. BlackOps2, thou shall be guided by the blackpill. It’s over”
29 After Chud had taken heed to this visionary message from wojak, he resumed his return to the cavern (that he leases and does not own) for rest, preparing to wageslave the next morning
The Preordained Duty of Chud
1 The Prince of Westfalen, Chud attended to the duties of the wage slave, for it was set out for him before he was born
2 As he was located inside of the edifice in which his wageful duties had been preestablished, the burger on the stove began to overheat on the verge of total incineration
3 Chud was hesitant to fulfil his wageful duties, and ts he was about to abscond the edifice, the helpless burger spaketh onto Chud:
4 “Thy burger must not flip thyself, for it is the Chud that must flip thy burger”
5 Chud respondeth in discourse, and Chud spake onto the helpless burger: “Thy possesseth slop in thy household; thy is not required to flip the immobilized burger in order to resume thy cope”
6 The immobilized burger answereth onto Chud, “Thou must not live on slop alone, but by the shekels that are bequeathed onto him by his financial masters”
7 As Chud piteously attempted to defend himself from the remarks of the immobilized burger, Chud respondeth, “I will neetbux”. But the burger spaketh onto Chud:
8 “Thou art alone, and thou own nothing. Thou surviveth as a tenant of the edifice that is leaseth unto him by the master of the edifice in which he hath lodged as a tenant. Thine tenancy will be jeopardized if thou discontinueth his wageful duties to the helpless burger”
9 Finally, Chud conceded to the remarks of the immobilized burger, and he returned to his dutues
10 He flipped the helpless burger, restoring its freshness and aptness for consumption by automated biological mechanisms, otherwise known as "normies". By doing this, the Prince of Westfalen had recognized his fate as a wagie, and had conceeded to the fact that he would fulfil his wageful purpose in life until further notice or death
The Parable of the Fallen Oofy Doofy Civilization
11 As Chud completed the daily quotas of his wageful services, he changed out of his wagie cloth back into his insouciant attire. He then vacated the edifice
12 As Chud journeyed back to his leasehold to rest in preparation for another day of wageslavery, he came across a crowd of sigma males assembled in front of a mysterious wojack who seemed to have been orating towards the crowd of sigma males
13 Chud temporarily halted his journey and observed the spectacle from afar behind the crowd of sigma males. And the mysterious wojak delivered a sermon onto the crowd of sigma men:
14 Once upon a time, there was a civilization of 100 men and 100 women. At first, they liveth in peace, but at some later stage, they became divided
15 It was not merely a single incident that caused the division, but various incidents that had embroiled the community. From cheating, to scamming, and all other types of devious activities
16 A war broke out, 50 men against the 50 other men. All the women stood by and watched the confrontation from afar. By the end of the war, only 30 men remained. They calleth a truce and buried or cremated the bodies of the other 70 men that had been slain during the war
17 A few years later, a second war would break out between the 30 men; 15 men vs 15 men. Again, all the women stood by and watched the confrontation from afar. By the end of the second war, only 15 men remained. Again, they calleth a truce and buried or cremated the bodies of the other 15 men that had been slain during the war
18 A few years later, a third war would break out. There were some 90 males born before or after the second war that had become old enough to fight. They were fed and prepared for duties that required extensive and heavy effort as they aged into able-bodied men
19 Thus, the third war was between 100 men; 50 men vs 50 men. Again, all the women stood by and watched the confrontation from afar. By the end of the third war, only 30 men remained. Again, they calleth a truce, and buried or cremated the bodies of the other 70 men who had been slain
20 Every few years, another war would break out. More men would die. All the women would stand by and watched the confrontation from afar. Another truce would be called, the bodies of the slain men would be buried or cremated
21 But one day, a mysterious naval army had bordereth the shores of the land that was occupied by the civilization. This was an unexpected transpiring; the kingdom from which the naval army had originated was unbeknownst to the men of the oofy doofy civilization
22 It was not known where the naval army had originated from, but their arsenal was much more advanced, their soldiers were acuter and fiercer. The mysterious navy possesseth a similar number of men as to the number of men in the civilization, but the power of the navy was more immense
23 The mysterious navy made a proposition to the civilization: “Bequeath your women, your gold and any other objects of wealth onto us, or face the wrath of our navy”
24 However the men of the oofy doofy civilization declined the offer, and respondeth “Thine will not surrender thy property onto thou. See to it thou will face thine wrath for such a preposterous offer”
25 Thus, the oofy doofy civilization waged war with the mysterious naval army, but the naval army ultimately achieved victory over the oofy doofy men by a crushing defeat. This was the only war in which the women of the civilization provided support to their fellow men in combat, but their efforts proved to be futile against the formidable naval army
26 In the aftermath, the women of the oofy doofy civilization were captured, and forceth into sex slavery by the soldiers of the naval army. All other male survivors from the conquered oofy doofy civilization were either executed or banished to wander the barren wilderness alone with a low expectancy of survival. This was the fate of the oofy doofy civilization
27 A sigma male in the crowd spake onto the mysterious wojak, “O wise wojak, what is the message of this parable by which our knowledge shall be multiplied?”
28 The mysterious wojak respondeth onto the crowd, “The message for thou are this: Do not fight over thine woman. For thy will only bring misery and suffering onto his fellow man, and will make thyself become too weak and impotent to defend thyself in the face of foreign invaders. By the grace of St. BlackOps2, thou shall be guided by the blackpill. It’s over”
29 After Chud had taken heed to this visionary message from wojak, he resumed his return to the cavern (that he leases and does not own) for rest, preparing to wageslave the next morning
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