Lyrics
[0:06 preamble]Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
[0:16 preamble]
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
[0:28]
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, 1, 2, 3, 4!
[0:38 chorus]
I am such an agecuck, all minors are the same!
I don't see the physical, I just see the age!
Doesn't matter if she has finished puberty!
'Cause seventeen or three, look the same to me!
[0:49]
I am such an agecuck, all minors are the same!
If the age of consent were sixteen, it wouldn't be a shame!
Doesn't matter if she is physically the same!
If she's below the number, it damages her brain!
[1:01 verse 1]
She is just a minor, she is underage!
If you dare to touch, that's statutory rape!
She is just a minor, she is seventeen!
It is as bad as if she were three!
[1:12 verse 2]
I believe in magic numbers, not biology.
I believe in social constructs, not what I can see.
Gender is a social construct, or so I believe.
But god gave humans the age of majority.
[1:22 break]
[1:33 verse 3]
She doesn't really like you, you just manipulated her!
So stay home and do nothing, she will come to you for sure!
She doesn't know if she wants you, the government knows better.
She lied about her age, who cares, you're still a sex offender.
[1:45 verse 4]
Seventeen, not five? Who cares, she's still a child!
Seventeen, not eight? To me, that's the same!
Seventeen, not nine? She's always traumatized!
Seventeen, not ten? Can't tell the difference!
[1:55 repeat verse 4]
Seventeen, not five? Who cares, she's still a child!
Seventeen, not eight? To me, that's the same!
Seventeen, not nine? She's always traumatized!
Seventeen, not ten? Can't tell the difference!
[2:06]
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
[2:19]
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
[2:28 verse 5]
Teens are like toddlers, they can't decide!
She feels ready? Doesn't matter! She is just a child!
What I won't tell you is that I want her to be mine!
To attack my competition, I call you a pedophile!
[2:39 verse 6]
You talked inappropriately, she's traumatized for life!
The power imbalance between you and her is high!
She would rather be with a powerless wimp!
I protect her feelings, proud to be her simp!
[2:50]
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Agecuck, agecuck, I'm such an agecuck!
Credits
Original track: LASZLO - Fall to lightLAZSLO was 16 years old when he produced "Fall to light". He also is the producer of "Supernova", the Linus Tech Tips intro music.
Cover font: Dyuthi.
Source for public domain stock photograph of toddler in cover picture: PublicDomainPictures.net.
Source for 18-year-old woman in cover picture: "B Gata H Kei: Yamada's First Time - Mumkey's Anime Reviews" by Mumkey Jones.
Co-incidence? "LASZLO - Fall to light" was released on the same day agecuck JaidenAnimations (Jaiden Dittfach) created her YouTube channel, February 16th, 2014. And Jaiden was 17 at that time. She is an agecuck because she took down videos featuring people who have "talked inappropriately" to "minors" (mature teenagers). Sources: for CallMeCarson and for BoyInABand.
I hereby release my lyrics and rest of the post into the public domain, under CC0 1.0, excluding quotes. Anyone feel free to make music video montage or a track with your dubbing from it!
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