At first it was very nervewracking. When you enter the ranch, you're not allowed to say anything. Five girls walk out, introduce themselves, and then stand there. You have to chose on the spot. It all happens really fast. And I’m trying to break down this whole story to her, so the first hour was rough, and it didn’t go well at all.
Then I started talking to her about movies, showing her pictures of my dog, talking about our plans in life, and she was calm and understanding. The second hour was much much better than the first, and then it happened. And I was no longer a virgin.
Here’s the thing: It wasn’t some life-altering event. All my life people had held sex over my head like it was the master sword in Zelda. It was fine. It was fun. After sex, I walked out and it was very late at night and the staff was watching "Antman and Wasp." They asked me if I wanted to watch with them. I did. We talked about "Venom," about "Infinity War." And it occurred to me: Here I am in the middle of nowhere on a ranch with sex workers, and I’m watching a Marvel film. Just like I do at home. You can’t escape who you are.
So here’s my advice: Sex is not a big deal. Stop waiting. Have it. Experience it. Enjoy it. It’s not something you need to stay away from. It’s normal. Nowadays I look back and I understand that staying away from sex all those years was like banning myself from the grocery store. It’s not the end of the world to have sex with someone you have no connection with. Also, we need to stop the stigma against sex workers. I had a great time at the ranch. It did wonders for me mentally. I used to think I'd be ashamed if I lost it to a prostitute. Not at all. I was given a great experience and was handled with real care.
It’s been about six months since the ranch trip. I’m dating now, I’m having fun, and life is good. You can’t live your life in fear. I know I said losing my virginity wasn’t a life-altering event and here I am saying how awesome things got after sex. But that’s just it: Life was always going to be awesome. I was always going to have an easy time finding women, but I let my fear of sex or my fear of doing it with someone I don't care for block me from making connections with women both physically and mentally. I put that wall up. Life didn't change. I did.
For years I couldn’t tie a tie. The other day I saw this amazing three-piece suit. I wanted to wear it. So I bought it and taught myself how to tie a tie. My parents used to tell me my poor hand-eye coordination would stop me from ever learning how. Guess what? I taught myself. Now I can tie a goddamn tie, and the suit looks great. Now I can buy more suits. For years I stayed away from them because I convinced myself I could never tie a tie. Now I can dress like Vincent Kennedy McMahon in 1986, 24-7.
Incels, you convinced yourself everyone is a Becky or a Chad — everyone is either a jerk or unattainable, so why bother? Just like I convinced myself all ties are untieable. Now? I can wear any tie in the world. And if you put the guard down, you can have fun with some amazing women! Or men! (Are there gay incels? Well, stop it!) And trust me, sex is way more fun than tying a tie. I think. Let me do both more and I'll get back to you.
I have two dogs, I can tie a tie, I have great women in my life and throw house parties once a month where everyone plays "NBA Jam" and beer pong. When I was a kid I was afraid of two things: women and dogs. I can’t imagine my life without either now. Sometimes the things you fear the most are the things that will save you.
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