"Of course it is. It always was. From the start. You'll never be a girl's erotic dream. Get used to it. It's not for you. Anyhow, it's too late. All your sexual failures since adolescence, the frustration dogging you since puberty, have scarred you forever. Even if you could find a woman, which I frankly doubt, it wouldn't work. It will never work. You're orphaned by the teenage loves you never had. It's already hurt you. It'll keep getting worse. An agonizing bitterness will fill your heart. There's no redemption. No release. That's how it is. "
"I'd had a life. Hard to remember, but I once had a life. I had photos to prove it. Probably during my adolescence, or soon after. How hungry for life I was then! How full of possibilities life seemed! I might become a pop star, move to Venezuela... Odder still, I'd had a childhood. When I was seven, I played with toy soldiers on the rug. I took a keen interest in these miniature wargames. It was long ago, but I remember it. Now the water's cold. I'm far from shore. So far from shore I swim on, but each stroke takes me nearer to drowning. I'm choking. My lungs are aching. The water seems colder, more and more bitter. I'm not so young. I'll die one day. But I keep going and remember how I entered the struggle. "
"Main character: Clearly, in our society, sex was another form of segregation, quite apart from money but equally pitiless in its segregating power. The effects of both were equivalent. Like totally free economics and for the same reasons, totally free sex created a class of paupers. Some people had sex daily. Others, only 5 or 6 times. Or never. Some men had dozens of women. Others had none. It's called "market forces". I've worked it out. I can afford a whore a week. Saturdays would be nice. Maybe I will one day, but I know there are men who get it for free, and love with it. So... I'd rather try that. For now, I'll keep trying. In an economic system that outlawed layoffs, everyone would find some kind of job. In a sexual system that outlawed adultery, everyone would find some kind of bedmate. In a completely free economy, some people amassed big fortunes while others rotted in poverty. In the free sex system, some people had an exciting, varied sex life. Others masturbated alone. Economic liberalism extended the struggle to people of every age and social class. Sexual liberalism, too, extended the struggle to people of every age and social class. In economic terms, Tisserand was a winner. In sexual terms, he was a loser. Some people won both ways, others lost both ways. The stress and strain were huge."
"It dawned on me that all of them, men and women, weren't remotely crazy. They simply lacked love. Their gestures and attitudes revealed their craving to be touched, caressed. Of course, it was impossible."
"Some beings are terrified of living with themselves. They can't bear to look at their own life and see it all, without shadows or backgrounds. By existing, they defy the laws of nature, not only because their inability to adapt serves no genetic purpose, but also because it presupposes a lucidity which clearly transcends the perceptual norms of everyday life."
How can it be over when it never began
I can recommend his first two novels if you're ever really bored and need some good suicidefuel. A true prioneer.
Whatever (novel) - Wikipedia
Atomised - Wikipedia
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