I could make a post like this for just about every day but certain days like yesterday really stick out. First of all, I was getting late breakfast, and I saw this guy from the football team sitting at one of the circular tables surrounded by nothing but girls, like 8 other girls that like him because he is an extroverted muscular sportsman. Honestly bothered me less than you'd think, since all of the girls were generic white girls and I am drawn mostly to the cute Asian phenotype. Also I vaguely know him and he was nice to me in some classes we were both in so I don't care. But it is a demonstration of how easy Chad's life is.
I'm still having a very bad sleep schedule (well past midnight right now), so after this I went and took a nap. I wake up to texts from this person I have trying to be friends with, it's just him asking for homework help—every friendship I try to make goes this direction, I end up being nothing but an answer dispenser for these people who are either too unskilled to complete the questions or too unprofessional to go to professor office hours as I often do. I have a 4.0 GPA in STEM and I deserve a GIRLFRIEND for my incredible work, not waking up alone, to this nonsense and an otherwise dead phone (save for the conversations with my brother who is becoming more based by the day). Anyway I answered the questions, and later I went to get dinner.
Now on the way to get dinner I saw something that really crushed me. In the clearing of the paths, there was a smol Asian girl jumping up and down so cutely, and in that moment I saw everything that had been taken from me. To make matters worse, I saw who was there with her—it was this guy, not exactly a Chad, but someone I recognized as being a total womanizer, and it was extremely angering. There was also another Asian girl there of unknown purpose.
After dinner, I went back to my room and masturbated because I have NO ONE, and sometime later took a shower. Now when I got out of the shower, what do I see on my phone but the same person from earlier literally begging me for more help. I ignored this and instead began to speak with my brother. Maybe I will answer tomorrow. But it shows how I have made ZERO progress since HS or beginning of college because that's always how it went, being forced to help other people and no one wants to help me out at all. Fuck this world and everyone who brought me to this absolute state!
I'm still having a very bad sleep schedule (well past midnight right now), so after this I went and took a nap. I wake up to texts from this person I have trying to be friends with, it's just him asking for homework help—every friendship I try to make goes this direction, I end up being nothing but an answer dispenser for these people who are either too unskilled to complete the questions or too unprofessional to go to professor office hours as I often do. I have a 4.0 GPA in STEM and I deserve a GIRLFRIEND for my incredible work, not waking up alone, to this nonsense and an otherwise dead phone (save for the conversations with my brother who is becoming more based by the day). Anyway I answered the questions, and later I went to get dinner.
Now on the way to get dinner I saw something that really crushed me. In the clearing of the paths, there was a smol Asian girl jumping up and down so cutely, and in that moment I saw everything that had been taken from me. To make matters worse, I saw who was there with her—it was this guy, not exactly a Chad, but someone I recognized as being a total womanizer, and it was extremely angering. There was also another Asian girl there of unknown purpose.
After dinner, I went back to my room and masturbated because I have NO ONE, and sometime later took a shower. Now when I got out of the shower, what do I see on my phone but the same person from earlier literally begging me for more help. I ignored this and instead began to speak with my brother. Maybe I will answer tomorrow. But it shows how I have made ZERO progress since HS or beginning of college because that's always how it went, being forced to help other people and no one wants to help me out at all. Fuck this world and everyone who brought me to this absolute state!
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