SuicideFuel Summary of my failed attempts to ascend

[Livonica_Irreale]

During last year i finally revoked my fear of rejection (stopped to care, no one will remember me anyway), and started to use different methods to approach foids online.
I used lots of apps, and sites etc. and what do i got? Depression so bad, that meds stopped working. The experiment lasted for about 1 year.
List of used dating apps:

• Tinder
• Badoo
• Boo
• Bumble
• Native ones exclusive for my country

The summary is: absolute no response. For each apps i got maybe 3-4 likes, which was propably bots. This is dead end - don't use it.
I've tried another method, which was more successful (compared to dating apps), which was dating Discords. Basically, i've interested few foids because i've wrote insane self-presentation, among billions of ghosted descriptions like "I'm 20, i like to play games, i'm interested in martial arts and i'm pretty fun person". Brutal, but these guys got no response.

So what do i got from there?

• Edgy energetic one - which was fine at first glance. Chatted for 2 hours, then she ghosted me.
• Alt-foid - was curious about me, but then she said "aren't you too young" when i send my fucking photo, then wished for finding a gf. I was feeling like garbage dumpster.

Additionaly, i added on one of these channels my photo, and i've got one positive reaction. When i wrote to that girl, she said that "i'm cute", but ran away, when i've told her how old i am. I'm tired of this. And that's all for discords - this fueled my depression so bad, that i've went insane for a couple of days.

Bonus: i've tried unconventional method, a Slowly App - which simulates real time letters. Receiving and sending messages varies from physical distance between users, between hours to even days. You can't show your face there, only predefinied pfp. Method same as with discord description.
How did it end?
At first i thought it'll be perfect solution. I received couple of letters, and one foid was ultra-romantical. She was fantasing about true love, hugging, etc, writing about how her day was and how does he wants to live. And after about 10-20 letters, i confessed, that i like her, despite even not knowing how she or i looks like to each other.
And guess what?
Fucking
Ghosted

I can't handle it anymore. This is so pointless, like banging your head against the wall.
This experiment had proven me, that i'm beyond saving, and foids are fucking disgusting. Everytime i got ghosted, i had an urge to play a russian roulette with myself.
I've put collosal effort to break this cycle, but it seems that i'm cursed by some fucking evil warlock, to feel pain that i can't lift, because i can't solve this fucking problem.

 

[Skoga]

I never tried and never will, waste of time. I hit most incel checkmarks so I have no chance.

 

[Smiggles]

I'm so atrocious I only get bots and even that is barely.

 

[Livonica_Irreale]

Bonus - i'm 10/10 for faggots. Even if i marked on these sites that i'm hetero, they were still asking if i like to fuck, or to being fucked.
My life it's a fucking joke.

 

[theanty]

>cutecel

 

[PolnischeKartoffel]

Better cute than this

 

[Genetics_subhuman]

During last year i finally revoked my fear of rejection (stopped to care, no one will remember me anyway), and started to use different methods to approach foids online.
I used lots of apps, and sites etc. and what do i got? Depression so bad, that meds stopped working. The experiment lasted for about 1 year.
List of used dating apps:

• Tinder
• Badoo
• Boo
• Bumble
• Native ones exclusive for my country

The summary is: absolute no response. For each apps i got maybe 3-4 likes, which was propably bots. This is dead end - don't use it.
I've tried another method, which was more successful (compared to dating apps), which was dating Discords. Basically, i've interested few foids because i've wrote insane self-presentation, among billions of ghosted descriptions like "I'm 20, i like to play games, i'm interested in martial arts and i'm pretty fun person". Brutal, but these guys got no response.

So what do i got from there?

• Edgy energetic one - which was fine at first glance. Chatted for 2 hours, then she ghosted me.
• Alt-foid - was curious about me, but then she said "aren't you too young" when i send my fucking photo, then wished for finding a gf. I was feeling like garbage dumpster.

Additionaly, i added on one of these channels my photo, and i've got one positive reaction. When i wrote to that girl, she said that "i'm cute", but ran away, when i've told her how old i am. I'm tired of this. And that's all for discords - this fueled my depression so bad, that i've went insane for a couple of days.

Bonus: i've tried unconventional method, a Slowly App - which simulates real time letters. Receiving and sending messages varies from physical distance between users, between hours to even days. You can't show your face there, only predefinied pfp. Method same as with discord description.
How did it end?
At first i thought it'll be perfect solution. I received couple of letters, and one foid was ultra-romantical. She was fantasing about true love, hugging, etc, writing about how her day was and how does he wants to live. And after about 10-20 letters, i confessed, that i like her, despite even not knowing how she or i looks like to each other.
And guess what?
Fucking
Ghosted

I can't handle it anymore. This is so pointless, like banging your head against the wall.
This experiment had proven me, that i'm beyond saving, and foids are fucking disgusting. Everytime i got ghosted, i had an urge to play a russian roulette with myself.
I've put collosal effort to break this cycle, but it seems that i'm cursed by some fucking evil warlock, to feel pain that i can't lift, because i can't solve this fucking problem.

How old are you?

 

[Livonica_Irreale]

How old are you?

27, and imagine i still don't have hair in my armpits

 

[Dollfucker]

And the worst part is your body will punish you by making you feel lonely and shit not attracting a foid because of our stupid DNA so your forced to feel like this forever

 

[PolnischeKartoffel]

which was dating Discords.

Weź podaj, jak nie tu to gdzie indziej to opowiem też o jednej z diskorda

 

[Veyron]

27, and imagine i still don't have hair in my armpits

how

 

[Qizarate]

It's been a year for me also.

 

[Livonica_Irreale]

how

I'm my mother's male clone, but even perfect as an potential female, since she have leg/armpits hair, while i doesn't.
At this point i feel like i'm some genetic comedy, made by dr. Mengele to make laugh of me.

 

[H8mychudlife]

When i wrote to that girl, she said that "i'm cute".

 

[endoftheskies]

During last year i finally revoked my fear of rejection (stopped to care, no one will remember me anyway), and started to use different methods to approach foids online.
I used lots of apps, and sites etc. and what do i got? Depression so bad, that meds stopped working. The experiment lasted for about 1 year.
List of used dating apps:

• Tinder
• Badoo
• Boo
• Bumble
• Native ones exclusive for my country

The summary is: absolute no response. For each apps i got maybe 3-4 likes, which was propably bots. This is dead end - don't use it.
I've tried another method, which was more successful (compared to dating apps), which was dating Discords. Basically, i've interested few foids because i've wrote insane self-presentation, among billions of ghosted descriptions like "I'm 20, i like to play games, i'm interested in martial arts and i'm pretty fun person". Brutal, but these guys got no response.

So what do i got from there?

• Edgy energetic one - which was fine at first glance. Chatted for 2 hours, then she ghosted me.
• Alt-foid - was curious about me, but then she said "aren't you too young" when i send my fucking photo, then wished for finding a gf. I was feeling like garbage dumpster.

Additionaly, i added on one of these channels my photo, and i've got one positive reaction. When i wrote to that girl, she said that "i'm cute", but ran away, when i've told her how old i am. I'm tired of this. And that's all for discords - this fueled my depression so bad, that i've went insane for a couple of days.

Bonus: i've tried unconventional method, a Slowly App - which simulates real time letters. Receiving and sending messages varies from physical distance between users, between hours to even days. You can't show your face there, only predefinied pfp. Method same as with discord description.
How did it end?
At first i thought it'll be perfect solution. I received couple of letters, and one foid was ultra-romantical. She was fantasing about true love, hugging, etc, writing about how her day was and how does he wants to live. And after about 10-20 letters, i confessed, that i like her, despite even not knowing how she or i looks like to each other.
And guess what?
Fucking
Ghosted

I can't handle it anymore. This is so pointless, like banging your head against the wall.
This experiment had proven me, that i'm beyond saving, and foids are fucking disgusting. Everytime i got ghosted, i had an urge to play a russian roulette with myself.
I've put collosal effort to break this cycle, but it seems that i'm cursed by some fucking evil warlock, to feel pain that i can't lift, because i can't solve this fucking problem.

brutal. never began.

 

[Excalibur]

I'm my mother's male clone, but even perfect as an potential female, since she have leg/armpits hair, while i doesn't.
At this point i feel like i'm some genetic comedy, made by dr. Mengele to make laugh of me.

You probably have a genetic disorder like Klinefelter’s which causes you to be really low-testosterone.

 

[endoftheskies]

You probably have a genetic disorder like Klinefelter’s which causes you to be really low-testosterone.

agreed. its brutal looking so effeminate.

 

[Hope repellent]

At least you tried
Even if you got fucking obliterated

 

[NWO_genes]

You must be joking right or doing something wrong my foid tinder account got 99 likes in 2 hours

 

[Livonica_Irreale]

At least you tried
Even if you got fucking obliterated

At least i was wounded so much that i doesn't care anymore.
Every trial was bringing as twice as much pain - and it's not vanishing, but stacking up.
So i guess even if i had this luck to ascend, it would end in 90% by breakup/cheating, and then my pain buffer will probably overflow and redirect me to ER or railroad.
I guess i'd ascend early, or easily engage in teen love or at least go on escorts, but aggregated pain from childhood turned me into fragile weakling.
It's enough. I can't do this anymore, i thought after childhood i'll be finally happy, but things started to be even harder, than back then.

 

[Hope repellent]

At least i was wounded so much that i doesn't care anymore.
Every trial was bringing as twice as much pain - and it's not vanishing, but stacking up.
So i guess even if i had this luck to ascend, it would end in 90% by breakup/cheating, and then my pain buffer will probably overflow and redirect me to ER or railroad.
I guess i'd ascend early, or easily engage in teen love or at least go on escorts, but aggregated pain from childhood turned me into fragile weakling.
It's enough. I can't do this anymore, i thought after childhood i'll be finally happy, but things started to be even harder, than back then.

Same
I can only tell you that at least you have more reasoning than those guys who keep throwing themselves at women in hopes of getting a piece of pussy. Though, I think you overdone it a bit. Many guys fall for trying hard and doing all options because since childhood we're taught that men need to, no matter what and how, find a way to "power through" any situation, even if it means finding other ways.

 

[Cuckoja]

Being rejected, dumped, ghosted online, for people with no experience as us, literally can be the final push over the edge. Its wasting time.

 

[Livonica_Irreale]

Being rejected, dumped, ghosted online, for people with no experience as us, literally can be the final push over the edge. Its wasting time.

The worst shit is - you could be even a chadlite - but when you confess that you're a KHHV, it'll trigger almost all foids to run away from you. Even virgin ones, because of this stupid thinking "if he's untouched, something must be wrong with him", and then red alert rings for them - like they encountered a pedophile.

 

[anglocelticcel]

IT won’t touch this

 

[Smiggles]

Being rejected, dumped, ghosted online, for people with no experience as us, literally can be the final push over the edge. Its wasting time.

 

[TooSomething]

Bonus - i'm 10/10 for faggots. Even if i marked on these sites that i'm hetero, they were still asking if i like to fuck, or to being fucked.
My life it's a fucking joke.

Why, are you "cute" looking or what?

If so, damn... .

Also, if that helps you to cope, I got likes from troons and bots. Jfl

The one I am currently on is a dead end at this point.
No reaction whatsoever.

 

[TooSomething]

You probably have a genetic disorder like Klinefelter’s which causes you to be really low-testosterone.

Yeah, get the hormones checked, man.

 

[SteelCentaur]

At least you tried
Even if you got fucking obliterated

 

[Livonica_Irreale]

Ah yes. The final nail into the coffin has arrived. My final seal into my virginity and spectator mode. I've been again rejected - and again, things was looking pretty nice at first.
But there was a turnoff that appears, that made her and probably all foids uncomfortable around me.
Honesty
I finally understood - saying the truth & being trustworthy isn't the same thing. By saying IRL things, even with covering your blackpill stained core and other details, they'll sense it. And this is when you're over. Once you get a label of psychopath and liar you're done. It doesn't matter, if you're or not - the thing that is to fake it. You have to be fake and lie, to escape inceldom.
So this is it. I'm not able to participate in my life as a 1st plan character. Almost all of my experience is spectating. And no one likes spectators, because they're boring + creepy (stalker vibes).
And i don't want to be a cuckold/simp. I'm not (and as i assume, you also) designed for such humiliating experience.
You don't even have to show your face, as i said - you could fake it through text. But if through text they're smelling odour of cesspool, then you know it's basically over.
There would be a chance that something would happen, however it would require lies & deception. And since my childhood was literally hell because of lack of trust and honesty - i'm disgusted by lies and my body refuses to say them, if not trolling.

You couldn't ascend with your equals, because you're emotional distant from them. You can't ascend with youngers, because you'll be perceived as potential pedo creep. You can't do it with olders, because they're experienced hags with high masculinity expectation.

You, as an unmasculine unexperienced eternal spectator will receive a invitation only for simperdom or friend zone. This is it. A peculiar one mascot, to stay - and do your weird things JFL. So the only way to remain dignity is to be a ghostly spectator. You'll see how's life passing. You'll see people, who gets old, you'll see children, world events, new games, etc. but that's it. The only thing you can afford is to watch. Or cope with imaginary world, where things didn't went as bad as in reality.

 

[Jaquarius1488]

During last year i finally revoked my fear of rejection (stopped to care, no one will remember me anyway), and started to use different methods to approach foids online.
I used lots of apps, and sites etc. and what do i got? Depression so bad, that meds stopped working. The experiment lasted for about 1 year.
List of used dating apps:

• Tinder
• Badoo
• Boo
• Bumble
• Native ones exclusive for my country

The summary is: absolute no response. For each apps i got maybe 3-4 likes, which was propably bots. This is dead end - don't use it.
I've tried another method, which was more successful (compared to dating apps), which was dating Discords. Basically, i've interested few foids because i've wrote insane self-presentation, among billions of ghosted descriptions like "I'm 20, i like to play games, i'm interested in martial arts and i'm pretty fun person". Brutal, but these guys got no response.

So what do i got from there?

• Edgy energetic one - which was fine at first glance. Chatted for 2 hours, then she ghosted me.
• Alt-foid - was curious about me, but then she said "aren't you too young" when i send my fucking photo, then wished for finding a gf. I was feeling like garbage dumpster.

Additionaly, i added on one of these channels my photo, and i've got one positive reaction. When i wrote to that girl, she said that "i'm cute", but ran away, when i've told her how old i am. I'm tired of this. And that's all for discords - this fueled my depression so bad, that i've went insane for a couple of days.

Bonus: i've tried unconventional method, a Slowly App - which simulates real time letters. Receiving and sending messages varies from physical distance between users, between hours to even days. You can't show your face there, only predefinied pfp. Method same as with discord description.
How did it end?
At first i thought it'll be perfect solution. I received couple of letters, and one foid was ultra-romantical. She was fantasing about true love, hugging, etc, writing about how her day was and how does he wants to live. And after about 10-20 letters, i confessed, that i like her, despite even not knowing how she or i looks like to each other.
And guess what?
Fucking
Ghosted

I can't handle it anymore. This is so pointless, like banging your head against the wall.
This experiment had proven me, that i'm beyond saving, and foids are fucking disgusting. Everytime i got ghosted, i had an urge to play a russian roulette with myself.
I've put collosal effort to break this cycle, but it seems that i'm cursed by some fucking evil warlock, to feel pain that i can't lift, because i can't solve this fucking problem.

At least you tried

 

[Livonica_Irreale]

At least you tried

Man my mental health is almost non existent.
I feel physical pain, i wasn't feeling this shit during lack of trials.