Suicide is self-expression
- Sep 26, 2019
- 254d 17h 27m
JFL this just shows how common fragile feminity is. Men don’t seem to care about feeling tall or masculine or dominant in a relationship. These women all say a bunch of benevolently sexist shit like “I wanna feel protected” or they say they wanna feel small and feminine or still wanna be shorter even when wearing heels (like as if you wear them all the time)
Several studies (e.g., Courtiol et al., 2010; Salska et al., 2008; Swami et al., 2008) have found that taller women are more likely to relax the requirement that the man be taller than her. Tall women do not necessarily say they would accept a male shorter than them, but they are more likely to say it would be acceptable for the male to be of the same height. For short men, they are more likely than tall men to say they would be willing to date women who are their height or even slightly taller.
Our analysis of the answers students provided in the open-ended questions confirmed these assertions. Immediately we saw gender differences in the importance of height for a potential dating partner. For example, it is worth noting that in all the themes documented in Table 2 our female respondents always, although not always significantly, mentioned the concerns of
a particular theme more than men. This can be a proxy for the reality that discussing the height of potential dates is more important to women than it is to men. Nevertheless there are other critical gender differences that should be noted. When asked about why they had minimum height requirements for who they are willing to date, women discussed several issues connected with a traditional gender expectation for men. For example, these young women discussed looking to taller men to feel protected or secure:
. . . height factors into security for me. When a man is taller I feel more protected and secure. (5 feet 4 inches “Other race”2 woman)
Although I am short, I am not attracted to short men. I could meet the most attractive man, but if he is not at least 5′ 7, I am not interested. Tall men represent protection. I feel safe for some reason. (5 feet 1 inches White woman)
In Table 2, we find that nearly a fourth of the women discussed the desire for protection or security in at least one of their answers whereas barely any men discussed issues of protection or security. It is a clear gender difference in the data. The desire to look up or down into a date’s eyes was not as great of a gender difference. But when our female respondents discussed this theme, it was generally the desire to look into a taller man’s eyes that they wanted. In a sense they desired to “look up” to their date:
As the girl I like to feel delicate and secure at the same time. Something just feels weird in thinking about looking “down” into my man’s eyes. There is also something to be said about being able to wear shoes with high heels and still being shorter. I also want to be able to hug him with my arms reaching up and around his neck. (5 feet 3 inches White woman)
It’s always been my personal preference to be able to look up into a guy’s eyes instead seeing him face to face. (5 feet 5 inches “Other race” woman)
This need to feel the man is taller may be tied to another characteristic that came out of our data. Some of the women sometimes felt the need to feel small compared with her partner in order to feel more “feminine.” For exam- ple, one respondent (5 feet inches Hispanic woman) noted that “... if a guy is too short or shorter than me, it makes me feel less feminine.” The average male is biologically taller and larger than the average female so it is not sur- prising that the females in our sample expected to date taller, larger men. However, the desire to date taller men to gain a perception of femininity seems a social, rather than biological, construct indicating the beliefs our society places on the male-taller norm.
@ThoughtfulCel @-BrettyBoy-Our sample of college-attending women wanted tall men for a variety of reasons, but some of those reasons tend to indicate preference for tradi- tional gender expectations. As such, it was notable that about 10% of the women wanted a taller date so that they would feel comfortable wearing high heel shoes. Such shoes are clearly a measure of meeting gender norms as only women are expected to wear such shoes. Images of men as strong protectors that women can look up to even in their heels clearly comport with traditional Western gender images. High heels are not used as a height equalizer with men, but as a social marker of feminine attractiveness. Given this social expectation, the young women in our sample often noted the need to find a man taller than them even when wearing high heels. It was clear in the minds of many female respondents that the height of a man helped her to engage in her traditional gender role. In fact a small percent- age of women overtly stated that being with a taller man made them feel more feminine. “I hate to rule it out, but I feel as if dating a much shorter man would make me feel large and unfeminine” (5 feet 7 inches White woman). Thus, many of the reasons women provided for desiring a taller mate can be tied to a desire to adhere to traditional gender roles. They also gave reasons consistent with evolutionary biology, such as expressing that taller men made them feel more secure and protected, both common responses.