I try not to think about it. I'll be playing lol and taking drugs in the most absolute loneliness, until I have to go back to work. I don't watch TV, I don't go outside (I already bought all I need for the next week, and if I need anything I'll just order it) and I don't talk to anybody. I don't want to see any couple, or happy person, or anything human related. I don't want to know what a great time is any human having. I don't want to know how wonderful is to have free time for friends, family and gf's. I just want the time to pass, and to feel anything close to happiness and satisfaction (God bless 3mmc). I'm not human, and for some days, I can stop pretending I'm one of them.