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sonic esoteric secrets

copemaxx9002

copemaxx9002

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Sonic The Hedgehog’s Esoteric Secrets REVEALED​

 
Sonic esoteric secret #454: Sonic is sucking himself off when he crotches and rolls into a ball

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Obscure Sonic fact #2056: Robotnik (who's a fat balding oldcel) foresaw the problem of inceldom and offered his own solution years before the blackpill

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Forbidden Sonic knowledge #8349: Sonic is canonically mandated to never be able to lose at anything by Sega so this means he can't lose his virginity either

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Hidden Sonic lore #45656: Sonic has a mix raced jewish/black character called Eggman Nega who's descended from Eggman after he presumably came inside a sheboon. Lifefuel for balding fat ugly oldcels. Just become a video game character and ascend bro


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1fABpX5Mtg
 
Forbidden Sonic knowledge #53815: SATAM was discontinued because the villain would be a manlet
 
Esoteric Sonic secret #7452: Eggman is a bald fat ugly male who identified as feminist as a mating strategy before reddit existed, Sonic's archenemy is a jewish (look at his nose), redditor and feminist who is trying to conquer the world using the power of finance capitalism/industry and turn everyone into robot slaves (robo goyim)

This brilliant mad scientist, with an IQ of 300, has the unfortunate body shape that gives him his namesake. Despite being such a brilliant scientist (specializing in robotic engineering), he is motivated by childish whims and delusions of grandeur to conquer the world. He is a romanticist and feminist, and styles himself a true gentleman. He fits the English term "Egghead" almost to a T, though. Sonic is his lifelong rival, and his schemes of world conquest have been foiled by the hedgehog time and time again.


View: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1dbxybgkUEWwbeCbuw8de95-_b2rT5To9TJ1gNT20kdU/edit#gid=2093084539
 
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Occult Sonic knowledge #9046: Tails got cucked by his oneitis ditching him for Sonic and then a green version of Sonic because he's below 3 foot tall and a manlet by Sonic character standards

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Deep Sonic lore #10845: Sega made Sonic characters perfect dick sucking height for average non manlet western males on purpose

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