Today was my first day back at school. I was super nervous for the new class as none of us knew each other. As soon as we walk in its almost religious how we scan the options and settle on who we're talking to ( aka, who we're becoming friends with for the rest of the year ).
No one settled on me.
While the teachers gone, everyone turns and introduces themselves. Im just sitting there, waiting. Other introverts are bombarded by extroverts. Others gain friends instantly. Im pretending to be busy on the school ipad, but instead im browsing this forum. At break I sat with no one.
I may be overdramatic, but ive been on edge since my parents divorce, and this stuff is starting to really bother me. I hate how I have only two 'friends'. I hate how they both have other better friends. I hate how I try so hard to be funny and kind but they sweep me aside. I hate how no one remembered by birthday when I got all of them chocolates for theirs. I hate this.
Sometimes I listen to music and imagine scenarios with random people in my class. With us just going to the mall or hanging out at the park. It feels nice for a while, then the music stops and I look up to a dark ceiling, stuck in silence for a long second before the next song starts.
I dread that few seconds.
No one settled on me.
While the teachers gone, everyone turns and introduces themselves. Im just sitting there, waiting. Other introverts are bombarded by extroverts. Others gain friends instantly. Im pretending to be busy on the school ipad, but instead im browsing this forum. At break I sat with no one.
I may be overdramatic, but ive been on edge since my parents divorce, and this stuff is starting to really bother me. I hate how I have only two 'friends'. I hate how they both have other better friends. I hate how I try so hard to be funny and kind but they sweep me aside. I hate how no one remembered by birthday when I got all of them chocolates for theirs. I hate this.
Sometimes I listen to music and imagine scenarios with random people in my class. With us just going to the mall or hanging out at the park. It feels nice for a while, then the music stops and I look up to a dark ceiling, stuck in silence for a long second before the next song starts.
I dread that few seconds.
