I'm autistic but didn't knew about it until my 18y and well, my whole childhood and youth was seeing how the whole world (including my family) were always saying me i'm everything they dislike and will never be accepted.
Yet, everything they said me to do or try to improve never actually worked to me and i can't help but feel everything is useless just by being who i am since i have problems even by making friends
My therapist says "you'll find the right one" but no matter if i'm fucking smart or these useless qualities they say that counts at the end, women still find me as a weirdo or even as "mentally disturbed" by things like not showing that much facial expressions or (not) liking "normal" things like going on parties and taking photos
I'm tired of feeling so alone and misunderstood
The internet as a whole says that here is a toxic place 'cause "it's only a site full of guys shitting about girls" but it's been one of the few places where i feel there's people who doesn't blind-agree with anything they say and actually see there's a pattern to follow if you don't wanna end up alone
Yet, everything they said me to do or try to improve never actually worked to me and i can't help but feel everything is useless just by being who i am since i have problems even by making friends
My therapist says "you'll find the right one" but no matter if i'm fucking smart or these useless qualities they say that counts at the end, women still find me as a weirdo or even as "mentally disturbed" by things like not showing that much facial expressions or (not) liking "normal" things like going on parties and taking photos
I'm tired of feeling so alone and misunderstood
The internet as a whole says that here is a toxic place 'cause "it's only a site full of guys shitting about girls" but it's been one of the few places where i feel there's people who doesn't blind-agree with anything they say and actually see there's a pattern to follow if you don't wanna end up alone
