Wizard Warlord
Greycel
★
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2022
- Posts
- 11
Lurked for a good while, finally made an account, might as well post my life story because y'all are the only people who might understand me, some of you may even be able to read
Meanwhile I can't even complain about it in normie circles because Asians are one of the only minority groups aside from incels that you can openly shit on.
By some cruel joke of the universe, I also low-rolled on the neural spectrum along with all my physical stats, so I can't even be the charismatic funny asian. I had very few friends growing up. I'm not a full on tard but people are very good at spotting non-NTs, and they'll subconsciously treat you like a disabled pet. As a side-note, somehow this improved as I got older, but that might just be because engineering draws a lot of autists.
The only way to survive was to keep my head down; Beta-maxx and intelligence-maxx.
The majority of my years passed in this way, with each I became increasingly resentful because despite my best efforts, I couldn't ascend.
I grew addicted to video games, movies, fandoms, drugs, anything to avoid reality. I was just a failure even though I gave up every aspect of my core being in favor of denial and copium.
After the china-flu wiped out the meager remnants of my social life, seppuku wound up on the table.
I totaled my car. I didn't mean to but I slipped up because would it really be so bad?
I don't really believe in religion but still I felt maybe I should take this chance to sit down and think how I could salvage my miserable fucking life.
I obviously didn't go to a therapist or anything because Chinese people don't believe in mental illness.
9/10 real doctors would tell you trying to self-diagnose is stupid, also that textbooks are boring, but for me it was way less shameful to DIY everything, so I just started reading philosophy and psychology.
I took psychedelics trying to escape my frame of mind, experience ego-death.
It was all well and good, if anything I became so nihilistic that my life didn't bother me as much anymore.
Eventually, Buddha shined his light upon my heathen ass a second time and I stumbled upon some Jordan B. Peterson videos via some normies who were bitching about him and his misogynist conservative views, so course I felt obligated to watch, and his videos have been eye-opening
I didn't link my favorite quote from him or anything, just whatever one I could find on short notice - which was easy because he's often based. But I'm not here to advertise him as some hot shit, as far as I know he's just a book-peddling con-man, but for one reason or another he opened my critical eye.
I already knew everything I needed to know, my godlike sense of denial just kept it out of my conscious mind.
The role of masculinity, the role of aggression, the hypergamy of women, the social hierarchy, how to stop living like a total cuck
I was drowning all these things my ape brain was telling me with video games, weed, alcohol
I didn't want any of the real-think to come to the surface because it was painful
But hearing concepts lain out in words from someone who doesn't sound retarded made it impossible to continue denying certain realities
If you articulate a concept you can no longer cram it into the depths of subconscious where it remains vague and unknown and you can pretend it doesn't exist
In gratitude to Buddha, I've taken it upon myself to try and articulate everything because then at least my problems become known
This endeavor is a large reason behind why this shitpost wall of text graces your eyes today
And still, they tell you how you're to blame, that you're the one with power, the patriarchy caused this. You are simply inferior.
It's actually such bullshit that it was so hard to escape the 'matrix', if you Google "Incel forum" all that shows up are countless hit pieces from mainstream media about how incels are losers, hateful, violent, misogynist, and dangerous terrorists - and that is a fucking tragedy.
Sure, some of you may well be all of those things, but like many things inceldom is a spectrum.
I know hundreds of dudes IRL who are more or less successful normies, but have spent many continuous years lonely and single. Are we supposed to believe this is a healthy society? That this warrants no conversation? Where are the silent majority of incels supposed to go to talk about their issues, and why is society surprised that when normal channels of communication are censored, the radical ones grow?
It's all fucked, but for now I've decided to at least stop hating myself for being short, autistic, and Chinese. I subscribe to the idea that the best form of revenge is to live a good life, and to do that my hatred needs to be better directed.
Anyway... this is the biggest bastion of truly free speech I could find, and that's why I'm here. I think 20% of you guys are based, 60% are just venting, and 20% are straight retarded.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk
Short, thin, four-eyed beta-ass Chinese manlet growing up in the US
My parents were typical first gen-immigrants who wanted a studious doctor/lawyer/engineer son and tried to beat into becoming one to a small degree of success. In hindsight, should have listened to them and studied more, because they knew how fucked I was as a ricecel in America, where nearly every demographic looks down on Asians, bullies us, mogs us for our women, hates us.Meanwhile I can't even complain about it in normie circles because Asians are one of the only minority groups aside from incels that you can openly shit on.
By some cruel joke of the universe, I also low-rolled on the neural spectrum along with all my physical stats, so I can't even be the charismatic funny asian. I had very few friends growing up. I'm not a full on tard but people are very good at spotting non-NTs, and they'll subconsciously treat you like a disabled pet. As a side-note, somehow this improved as I got older, but that might just be because engineering draws a lot of autists.
The only way to survive was to keep my head down; Beta-maxx and intelligence-maxx.
I evolved a necessary godlike sense of denial because my soyboy brain needed protection from the harsh reality that an asian manlet has no value other than his labor
Very early in life I became a bluepilled libtard woke-fag who actually thought I had a chance to fit in the normie's world if I adopted all their practices.- I denied my asian genes, denied my height, denied my beta status, denied my own masculinity in favor of being agreeable to normies
- I acquired their tastes, took on their mannerisms, learned their crafts, professed their ideologies
- I had no real personality because I had no backbone, fitting in with the normies was all that mattered
- I lived to play second fiddle to the normies in hopes some day a bit of their relative chadness would trickle down to me
- One day, I'll be the center of attention, people will choose me to enter their inner friend circle, maybe even the right girl will appreciate how thoroughly vanilla I am
- At the peak of my delusion I even seriously tried to tranny-maxx because if I was a small Asian girl, life would be so damn easy - I've already got the build and personality of one
The majority of my years passed in this way, with each I became increasingly resentful because despite my best efforts, I couldn't ascend.
I grew addicted to video games, movies, fandoms, drugs, anything to avoid reality. I was just a failure even though I gave up every aspect of my core being in favor of denial and copium.
After the china-flu wiped out the meager remnants of my social life, seppuku wound up on the table.
I totaled my car. I didn't mean to but I slipped up because would it really be so bad?
Lord Buddha in heaven, blessed be thy name, decided to bitch-slap my senses
I didn't die, I was barely even injured.I don't really believe in religion but still I felt maybe I should take this chance to sit down and think how I could salvage my miserable fucking life.
I obviously didn't go to a therapist or anything because Chinese people don't believe in mental illness.
9/10 real doctors would tell you trying to self-diagnose is stupid, also that textbooks are boring, but for me it was way less shameful to DIY everything, so I just started reading philosophy and psychology.
I took psychedelics trying to escape my frame of mind, experience ego-death.
It was all well and good, if anything I became so nihilistic that my life didn't bother me as much anymore.
Eventually, Buddha shined his light upon my heathen ass a second time and I stumbled upon some Jordan B. Peterson videos via some normies who were bitching about him and his misogynist conservative views, so course I felt obligated to watch, and his videos have been eye-opening
I didn't link my favorite quote from him or anything, just whatever one I could find on short notice - which was easy because he's often based. But I'm not here to advertise him as some hot shit, as far as I know he's just a book-peddling con-man, but for one reason or another he opened my critical eye.
The thing is, Peterson didn't teach me a single fucking thing
The only thing he did was articulate the obvious.I already knew everything I needed to know, my godlike sense of denial just kept it out of my conscious mind.
The role of masculinity, the role of aggression, the hypergamy of women, the social hierarchy, how to stop living like a total cuck
I was drowning all these things my ape brain was telling me with video games, weed, alcohol
I didn't want any of the real-think to come to the surface because it was painful
But hearing concepts lain out in words from someone who doesn't sound retarded made it impossible to continue denying certain realities
If you articulate a concept you can no longer cram it into the depths of subconscious where it remains vague and unknown and you can pretend it doesn't exist
In gratitude to Buddha, I've taken it upon myself to try and articulate everything because then at least my problems become known
This endeavor is a large reason behind why this shitpost wall of text graces your eyes today
It feels like ass admitting to yourself that you're an autistic ricecel, that the dating market is fucked, that you're on the bottom of the social pecking order
- That your base stats are shit, on top of that you've wasted so much time, and your life choices are shit
- That you've been a complete clown trying to emulate a normie in a society that touts itself as morally superior, egalitarian, and enlightened yet has clearly biased views on what it thinks is beautiful, morally superior, and respectable
- This society humiliates you for your problems, tells you over and over the pursuit of female attention and sex is both vain and not a game you're meant to win, when the approval of a woman is literally nature's way of telling you that you're good enough.
- It treats young men as less than human, kept hungry and desperate to prove their worth to the point where they will betray each other, sacrifice, fight, even die to uphold this unbalanced system
- All the while, the morally superior "good people" problems like muh gender wage-gap are paraded around in the public eye so that it's blinded from how men work longer hours, take riskier jobs, die earlier, are lonelier, are more depressed, kill themselves more often
And still, they tell you how you're to blame, that you're the one with power, the patriarchy caused this. You are simply inferior.
But what am I going to do about it now?
I'm angry as hell about it, that's for sure - angry enough to have escaped the bluepill
I'm out of the matrix
It's actually such bullshit that it was so hard to escape the 'matrix', if you Google "Incel forum" all that shows up are countless hit pieces from mainstream media about how incels are losers, hateful, violent, misogynist, and dangerous terrorists - and that is a fucking tragedy.
Sure, some of you may well be all of those things, but like many things inceldom is a spectrum.
I know hundreds of dudes IRL who are more or less successful normies, but have spent many continuous years lonely and single. Are we supposed to believe this is a healthy society? That this warrants no conversation? Where are the silent majority of incels supposed to go to talk about their issues, and why is society surprised that when normal channels of communication are censored, the radical ones grow?
It's all fucked, but for now I've decided to at least stop hating myself for being short, autistic, and Chinese. I subscribe to the idea that the best form of revenge is to live a good life, and to do that my hatred needs to be better directed.
Anyway... this is the biggest bastion of truly free speech I could find, and that's why I'm here. I think 20% of you guys are based, 60% are just venting, and 20% are straight retarded.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk
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