Even when being ignored briefly by strangers, with whom the individual will never have any face-to-face interaction, the negative effect is powerful and consistent. This was true even with a great variety of personalities.
People also vary in how they cope during the second stage of ostracism. Coping can mean the person tries to harder be included. For example, they may try to engage in behaviors that might foster acceptance: mimicking, complying, obeying orders, cooperating or expressing attraction.
If this tactic doesn’t work, and hope for inclusion is lost, people stop worrying about being liked and decide they just want to be noticed. In this stage, they may resort to provocative behavior and even aggression.
However, if a person has been ostracized for a long time, people can’t continue to cope with the pain and often eventually give up. This is the third stage, called resignation.
The third stage is called resignation. In some people who have been ostracized, they become less helpful and more aggressive to others in general. They also may feel an increase in anger and sadness. “Long-term ostracism can result in alienation, depression, helplessness, and feelings of unworthiness.”
Sometimes “extreme groups” (gangs and the like) can provide members with a sense of belonging, self-worth, and control, but they can also fuel narrowness, radicalism and intolerance, and perhaps a propensity toward hostility and violence toward others.
When a person feels ostracized they feel out of control, and aggressive behavior is one way to restore that control.
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