That's a fair take I think. I get why pedophilia is wrong since the kid has no say or can be easily manipulated -- but my main gripe with how the modern western public (especially women) talk about pedophilia is they conflate it with things that it isn't. For example, a 20 year old guy banging a 14-15 year old girl isn't heinously evil or anything in my view -- hebe =/= pedo and if most men were honest (they aren't because reputation matters and they know what the reaction would be to publicly admitting such a thing) inherently men are hebes with high frequency. Women don't mind this a bit when they're young, but they get enraged about it when they're old and see men going for women younger than they are.
And yes, there are worse problems looking at the big picture -- the ones you list are fantastic examples. Oh, also drawings -- a hand drawn picture harms no one. I'm genuinely curious to know what people think about that because usually the response is "slippery slope" where they think by allowing people to draw pictures (loli as an example) it will cause an epidemic of real pedo crime, but I'm not convinced that's actually true. That said, I think for most men post puberty women are most attractive and are what men want -- e.g. if a person grows up like this:
A) Baby B) Toddler C) Child D) Pre Teen E) Teen F) Young Adult G) Adult H) ... Middle Aged ... Old (etc)
The point at which the woman completes puberty is probably the most attractive they'll ever be in their entire life. This could be anywhere from 14-17 is my general bet but I could be off by a bit.
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Age gaps in marriage between men and women have always existed as well and men were always older on the average. Shocking to no one men value youth, beauty, fertility, sanity and women value money/resources, status, power, looks. It's also notable different countries have different consent laws where they "draw the line" so to speak, but usually you're looking at that 14-16 ballpark thereabouts and that seems reasonable to me.
People don't discuss this stuff honestly or openly because your real world reputation will be gutter balled and people will erroneously view you as "heinously evil" for having an even remotely nuanced take for the subject.