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Overwhelming despair

N

Neuralrust

Greycel
Joined
Nov 22, 2017
Posts
1
Every day, I carry the feeling of wanting to cry but not being physically able to.

>be poorfag

>become a wagecuck to spend less time in a dysfunctional home that was driving me to suicide

>participate in fire / emergency drill at work

>fucktons of people know it's a drill, except me

>I wasn't in the "in" crowd, so no one deigns to tell me it was a drill, so I assume there's a real emergency ongoing

>while everyone is joking and walking casually in their groups of friends, I lose myself in the crowd of evacuees, heart pounding, sweating, throat clamping shut as if I were suffocating, and feeling like vomiting because of the anxiety

>while waiting in the pre-designated evacuation zone, a FHO who I've never spoken to or seen before tells me that I look like I'm twelve

>another one jokingly asks me if I'm old enough to work there

>I laugh while wishing that the emergency were real, so that I could die right then and there

>I get home, fantasizing about going to sleep and escaping reality by traveling into my dreams

>my piece of shit father berates me as I'm walking through the door because I purchased some stupid trinkets on eBay; I have to buy stupid shit so that I can have something to look forward to, or else the reality of my miserable, dead-end life will be soul-crushing


I can't spend my own money, I can't go out in public without being humiliated, I can't have peace of mind, I can't experience just one peaceful, happy day without something coming out of nowhere and ruining it.


I wish there were a drug that could just void the mind entirely. I want to fuck off to a different dimension for a while. Fuck mankind.
 
Neuralrust said:
Every day, I carry the feeling of wanting to cry but not being physically able to.

>be poorfag

>become a wagecuck to spend less time in a dysfunctional home that was driving me to suicide

>participate in fire / emergency drill at work

>fucktons of people know it's a drill, except me

>I wasn't in the "in" crowd, so no one deigns to tell me it was a drill, so I assume there's a real emergency ongoing

>while everyone is joking and walking casually in their groups of friends, I lose myself in the crowd of evacuees, heart pounding, sweating, throat clamping shut as if I were suffocating, and feeling like vomiting because of the anxiety

>while waiting in the pre-designated evacuation zone, a FHO who I've never spoken to or seen before tells me that I look like I'm twelve

>another one jokingly asks me if I'm old enough to work there

>I laugh while wishing that the emergency were real, so that I could die right then and there

>I get home, fantasizing about going to sleep and escaping reality by traveling into my dreams

>my piece of shit father berates me as I'm walking through the door because I purchased some stupid trinkets on eBay; I have to buy stupid shit so that I can have something to look forward to, or else the reality of my miserable, dead-end life will be soul-crushing


I can't spend my own money, I can't go out in public without being humiliated, I can't have peace of mind, I can't experience just one peaceful, happy day without something coming out of nowhere and ruining it.


I wish there were a drug that could just void the mind entirely. I want to fuck off to a different dimension for a while. Fuck mankind.

A drug like that exists if you look in the right place...
 
I understand completely... the worst part is feeling that its so out of your control, you have no way of turning things around, thats what makes you go insane, not even being able to try to turn things around
 
Neuralrust said:
I wish there were a drug that could just void the mind entirely. I want to fuck off to a different dimension for a while. Fuck mankind.

There is. It's called dope
 
jfl at our lives

I stopped caring
 
"I purchased some stupid trinkets on eBay; I have to buy stupid shit so that I can have something to look forward to, or else the reality of my miserable, dead-end life will be soul-crushing"

haha that sounds soooo familiar
 
Incel801 said:
"I purchased some stupid trinkets on eBay; I have to buy stupid shit so that I can have something to look forward to, or else the reality of my miserable, dead-end life will be soul-crushing"

haha that sounds soooo familiar

It is rather female.
 

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