I rot in my shitty French appartment, doing nothing at all but playing video games. All my family is either dead either ignores me.
I have zero friend. That's the worst. But I'm not even able to make friends. I wish I had a friend. Just one.
I'm 38, balding, my beard becomes gray, my hygiene is terrible, I have no money.
I've put my profile on Tinder during 6 months and had no match for 6 months. Absolutely nobody.
When I was 15 I thought I would have one day the luck to meet a foid. It was impossible to think I would stay alone for decades. But that's what happened. That's an horrible fate. When I was 15 it was already completely over for me. All my friends at school were fucking foids, and I was asking myself why zero girl was attracted by me. They were fleeing away from me at sight. I was trying to understand why.
I tried anything to have a gf. Anything. It's just impossible. The biggest cope when you're young is to believe one day, you'll find a means to ascend. That won't ever happen. I'm an high IQ autistic who spent years studying the subject on every way. If there was a solution for this issue, I would have found it since years. And more, our collective thinking on this forum would have found it too.
I'm feeling old, my body is always tired now. My brain is slowly becoming less active every day. I wish I had a gun to shoot myself in the head, but law forbids autistic people to purchase guns here. So one day I'll just buy a gas tank, put oil all over my car, sit inside and light a cigarette.
But not today because it's sunday, and the sunday, I rest.