It's Over Oh no I am becoming mentally ill

[Medcel]

Before quarantine, I was lonely and depressed, but I managed to keep my behavior within some socially acceptable standards.

Now I have nobody around, since I'm not attending uni in person, or going anywhere else, to reinforce social behavioral standards. I have spotted some worrying thought patterns.

Other than actually wanting to kill myself, which I had only jokingly thought about in the past, I have thought about actually killing people and exceeding healthy dosages for various substances, such as alcohol, and starving myself for extended periods of time until I cannot move from exhaustion, both of which I have actually done.

I fear that, even if it was possible for me to ever ascend, this is now the straw that has broken the camel's back; a permanent corruption of my psychology. I was already less than average; I am now, perhaps, less than human.

 

[Pengwin]

How far are you gone on a scale of 1 to 10 if I may ask?

 

[Deleted member 22572]

Oh no

 

[Deleted member 24256]

Im tapped in the head (im tapped)

 

[AlexanderTheGreat11]

You’re just ugly and bored

 

[epillepsy]

I've had this feeling before during university, when I was often in solitude. It made me feel powerful and that evil was amassing within me. I was reading a lot of really good books during that time too that affected my thinking.
But now that feeling is gone and I miss it.

 

[ionlycopenow]

You’re just ugly and bored

tbh. If quarantine is making you le crazy you're a LARPing normie me. You are a normalfag op and you're fine

 

[Johny.speiz]

Becoming mentally ill in a society becoming crazier and crazier, I do not think so. If you were other than Blue/Red-Pill, you would not suffer much at all. See, you are normal, the others are crazy. This time is a blessing for me.

 

[ionlycopenow]

Becoming mentally ill in a society becoming crazier and crazier, I do not think so. If you were other than Blue/Red-Pill, you would not suffer much at all. This time is a blessing for me.

There's truth to this. I think being depressed or anxious in modern times is ironically a sign of normalcy. That's sick and twisted but it is what it is.

 

[Johny.speiz]

There's truth to this. I think being depressed or anxious in modern times is ironically a sign of normalcy. That's sick and twisted but it is what it is.

Not only this but seeing normies and chads being "anxious and depressed" as well. when they tag you a mental illness label nowadays it does not mean anything. Once homosexuality was a mental illness, today being against the mainstream can make you tagged as MI.

 

[ionlycopenow]

Not only this but seeing normies and chads being "anxious and depressed" as well. when they tag you a mental illness label nowadays it does not mean anything. Once homosexuality was a mental illness, today being against the mainstream can make you tagged as MI.

Yeah sorry I don't buy chads and foids being nervous and depressed. I don't see them genuinely feeling suicidal or getting panic attacks outside of meme parroting of memes they see about it online.

 

[Medcel]

I've had this feeling before during university, when I was often in solitude. It made me feel powerful and that evil was amassing within me. I was reading a lot of really good books during that time too that affected my thinking.
But now that feeling is gone and I miss it.

cringe

How far are you gone on a scale of 1 to 10 if I may ask?

I guess 1 would be completely well adjusted happy person. 10 would be every mental process has gone wrong; unable to perceive reality, emotions just don't work, let alone behaviors. Let's try to rank them
1. Healthy
2. Mostly healthy with slight deviations, such as mood swings etc.
3. Classified as healthy, though with major signs of disorder, such as more than occasional depression, abnormal behaviors etc.
4. Mental illness starts here, also this is the stage where mental illness starts significantly affecting real life. Things like mild autism, major depressive disorder, well-adjusted psychopath CEOs etc.
5. Mental illness starts crippling you in real life. Unable to consistently interact well with other people, instability in private life. People like narcissists and therpy-ized psychopaths would be here.
6. Five plus. Mental illness is now a defining feature of your life. Without help, your chances of a normal existence by yourself are slim to none. Aspies, regular autists etc. are here.
7. Borderline insane. The line between human and not starts being blurred. Strange behaviors like consistent desire for murder, flashbacks, etc. Psychopaths are here.
8. Clinically insane. Unable to consistently interact with reality. Schizophrenia, psychosis, delusions, etc.
9. Not human. Mental retardation, unchecked schizophrenia, advanced Alzheimer's.
10. Brain = no work.

So I'd say I'm a solid 5, maybe 6.

 

[epillepsy]

cringe

agreed.

 

[Medcel]

So I'd say I'm a solid 5, maybe 6.

aBoVE 4 gEt oUT of My fORum Ch4D

 

[Johny.speiz]

Yeah sorry I don't buy chads and foids being nervous and depressed. I don't see them genuinely feeling suicidal or getting panic attacks outside of meme parroting of memes they see about it online.

Not yet, but wait for another "isolation" due to an increase in the Pandemic and you will see them as well, depends also where you live, if you are in Spain, you will not see it. LOL.

 

[ionlycopenow]

cringe

I guess 1 would be completely well adjusted happy person. 10 would be every mental process has gone wrong; unable to perceive reality, emotions just don't work, let alone behaviors. Let's try to rank them
1. Healthy
2. Mostly healthy with slight deviations, such as mood swings etc.
3. Classified as healthy, though with major signs of disorder, such as more than occasional depression, abnormal behaviors etc.
4. Mental illness starts here, also this is the stage where mental illness starts significantly affecting real life. Things like mild autism, major depressive disorder, well-adjusted psychopath CEOs etc.
5. Mental illness starts crippling you in real life. Unable to consistently interact well with other people, instability in private life. People like narcissists and therpy-ized psychopaths would be here.
6. Five plus. Mental illness is now a defining feature of your life. Without help, your chances of a normal existence by yourself are slim to none. Aspies, regular autists etc. are here.
7. Borderline insane. The line between human and not starts being blurred. Strange behaviors like consistent desire for murder, flashbacks, etc. Psychopaths are here.
8. Clinically insane. Unable to consistently interact with reality. Schizophrenia, psychosis, delusions, etc.
9. Not human. Mental retardation, unchecked schizophrenia, advanced Alzheimer's.
10. Brain = no work.

So I'd say I'm a solid 5, maybe 6.

I really doubt there's anything wrong with you.

 

[Medcel]

I really doubt there's anything wrong with you.

I really think there''s something wrong with me. Like I twitch sometimes when under emotional duress, when I didn't in the past. Also, when I would have cried in the past I now substitute it with laughter. It's weird, it's not like the "funny haha" laughter that you normally do, it's like a slower laugh that sounds like laughter but feels more like the chest spasms you have while crying. That can't be normal. Oh and suicidal ideation

Edit: Adding to that the extreme changes in eating patterns, sleeping patterns and social relationships ("broke up" with a few "friends"), I'd say I have a cozy diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder, beyond what is considered normal for people here.

 

[muharremabi]

My IQ is dropping with each passing day since i am blackpilled because i see no reason to live as an ugly freak. It definitely has to do with my depression tho.

 

[ionlycopenow]

I really think there''s something wrong with me. Like I twitch sometimes when under emotional duress, when I didn't in the past. Also, when I would have cried in the past I now substitute it with laughter. It's weird, it's not like the "funny haha" laughter that you normally do, it's like a slower laugh that sounds like laughter but feels more like the chest spasms you have while crying. That can't be normal. Oh and suicidal ideation

I have literally been suicidal my whole life a gay little quarantine doesn't do shit to change that. The way you're talking about suicidal thoughts or homicidal thoughts being this sudden jarring frightening thing is another day for me. You're just bored and are fine don't fester on it. I also should remind you that if you were actually going crazy you wouldn't know. During mania you lose awareness.

 

[Medcel]

I have literally been suicidal my whole life a gay little quarantine doesn't do shit to change that. The way you're talking about suicidal thoughts or homicidal thoughts being this sudden jarring frightening thing is another day for me. You're just bored and are fine don't fester on it.

That means you're mentally ill you dumbass.

 

[ionlycopenow]

That means you're mentally ill you dumbass.

I know tell me something I don't know. I'm ugly and neurotic what do you want to teach me exactly? Where do you think you are. Alot of people are nowadays because of how shitty life is. It's nothing too serious though I've never been manic.

 

[Transcended Trucel]

u need LSD

 

[Billowel]

nothing stops god for he is perfect.nothing can kill the fulfilment of his desire.Trust in christ and all shall be good in the end.

 

[Medcel]

u need LSD

Way ahead of you, am currently in the process of making DMT

 

[ReturnOfSaddam]

Just don't get physically hooked on booze, the withdrawals are unbearable. Also you can't really starve yourself while drinking booze cause it has so many calories in it, you will get dehydrated though if it's above 10% ABV (20 proof) and you aren't drinking anything non-alcoholic though.

I've been in a similar situation, I just abused drugs for a few years. I was in full time employment throughout the whole thing too lol, my job was boring af but easy enough that no one noticed (or if they did they didn't care).

I found that all the "drugs r baaaad" shit you hear normies say couldn't be further from the truth. During that time I was so happy, in such good shape, and literally having a fucking blast on a daily basis. I was so much less negative than I am now. I started getting used to the effects though so I took a long break, and also unfortunately a new unrelated health issue means I can't take drugs for a while.

So yeah overall if you're an incel and you've run out of hope, or tried everything else, abusing drugs can absolutely be a way forward.

 

[Medcel]

nothing stops god for he is perfect.nothing can kill the fulfilment of his desire.Trust in christ and all shall be good in the end.

I'm not going to lick your holy rod pastor

 

[ReturnOfSaddam]

Way ahead of you, am currently in the process of making DMT

You'll probably prefer LSD. Lasts for 12 hours whereas DMT lasts 15 mins. Forgive me if you already know but they aren't similar at all. Both are a lot of fun though.

 

[Transcended Trucel]

Way ahead of you, am currently in the process of making DMT

based it will fix ur mind. hope u see machine elves

 

[Medcel]

You'll probably prefer LSD. Lasts for 12 hours whereas DMT lasts 15 mins. Forgive me if you already know but they aren't similar at all. Both are a lot of fun though.

Yeah no I have a very busy schedule I don't wanna be high for a whole day
Which is also why I'm making my own pure DMT instead of some weird Incan chamalucha Ayahuasca poison mojito

 

[Billowel]

I'm not going to lick your holy rod pastor

Believe me,i have seen million man go through the same path you are treading and it never ends well

 

[Medcel]

Believe me,i have seen million man go through the same path you are treading and it never ends well

Well I am not like million man. For I am like quadrillion man, he of the many digits.

 

[ReturnOfSaddam]

Yeah no I have a very busy schedule I don't wanna be high for a whole day
Which is also why I'm making my own pure DMT instead of some weird Incan chamalucha Ayahuasca poison mojito

Have you ever used it before?

 

[Medcel]

Have you ever used it before?

Nope

 

[ReturnOfSaddam]

Nope

Any psychedelics?

Are you really that busy that you can't get 12hrs alone to yourself at all? You could try mushrooms instead if you can get them they last like 5 hours or so.

 

[Medcel]

Any psychedelics?

Are you really that busy that you can't get 12hrs alone to yourself at all? You could try mushrooms instead if you can get them they last like 5 hours or so.

Well I cooouuld but setting up a lab to get my own shit going (not just for DMT I wanna make some antibiotics for fun as well) sounds so entertaining. Also I heard that ayahuasca makes you sick and I'm chicken. Furthermore, from the description of the highs one gets from various psychedelics, DMT sounds more interesting for me. I heard it's not just a trip where you see funky shit but you begin to see the real world in a different way, like spiritual shit.

 

[ReturnOfSaddam]

Well I cooouuld but setting up a lab to get my own shit going (not just for DMT I wanna make some antibiotics for fun as well) sounds so entertaining. Also I heard that ayahuasca makes you sick and I'm chicken. Furthermore, from the description of the highs one gets from various psychedelics, DMT sounds more interesting for me. I heard it's not just a trip where you see funky shit but you begin to see the real world in a different way, like spiritual shit.

DMT is an interesting one, but pretty much all psychedelics are (I'm assuming you haven't used them before). You'll know this but they're absolutely nothing like alcohol, which is basically just a good mood/comfort elixir. Psychedelics absolutely blow your mind. Normally in a good way but not necessarily. It's a complete misconception that their biggest effect is making you see shit, you do get this but the way they change your mind is definitely the most fun thing about being high on them.

I've used DMT three times, was always a good time. I remember standing in my room looking out my window and literally feeling 100 metres tall, and yeah very "spiritual". I looked out across at all the houses and gardens and felt like I was some type of demi-God ruling over all of them. I can't articulate exactly how I felt but I can see why people say they feel spiritual on it, that word seems suitable.

Don't go into the DMT trip anxious. If you have reservations before doing it consider drinking some alcohol, it might slightly numb the trip but the anxiolytic effects of it will make it worth it. Psychedelics in general are a hell of a lot of fun though, if you're unsure about shrooms you can always take a low dose to gauge your reaction to it. Lastly (and this might sound ironic given that I just wrote all this) don't take descriptions of drug effects on the internet too literally, you'll find a lot of the time your experience is different to how it was described. Take alcohol for example, you could read a description that it makes you feel warm, happy, relaxed and a little excited/amused, but that description isn't worth anything compared to just having actually experienced it.

 

[Medcel]

@ReturnOfSaddam Thanks for the advice narc-cel, I am definitely planning on doing two trips, one trial and one regular trip. Looking forward to it

 

[ReturnOfSaddam]

@ReturnOfSaddam Thanks for the advice narc-cel, I am definitely planning on doing two trips, one trial and one regular trip. Looking forward to it

Np. Good luck and enjoy, it's a good time.

 

[catcel]

Pretty much in same shoes as OP.
The quarantine has been hell for me , which is ironic since I never had a life outside of internet .
It's also the same year I graduated , so what little crumbs of social interaction I was thrown at in uni, that's gone too..

I thought I'd made the most out my final year in uni, but life had different plans.

In a different timeline I'd be working someplace by now and maybe found a qt gf, but now i back at rotting in my room, browsing .co and thinking about suicide

 

[JestER]

Fakecel if quarantine had any effect on you whatsoever in terms of social status

 

[Medcel]

Fakecel if quarantine had any effect on you whatsoever in terms of social status

unbrain if you think that even the smallest amount of social interaction does not help

 

[The Zulfigar]

I have thought about actually killing people

 

[SryMyEnglish]

Its okay, many out here are mentally ill

 

[BITG]

You’re just ugly and bored

 

[Haywire]

k

 

[4mags1]

Before quarantine, I was lonely and depressed, but I managed to keep my behavior within some socially acceptable standards.

Now I have nobody around, since I'm not attending uni in person, or going anywhere else, to reinforce social behavioral standards. I have spotted some worrying thought patterns.

Other than actually wanting to kill myself, which I had only jokingly thought about in the past, I have thought about actually killing people and exceeding healthy dosages for various substances, such as alcohol, and starving myself for extended periods of time until I cannot move from exhaustion, both of which I have actually done.

I fear that, even if it was possible for me to ever ascend, this is now the straw that has broken the camel's back; a permanent corruption of my psychology. I was already less than average; I am now, perhaps, less than human.

If this isn't that you have experienced by age 30 then I doubt you're a truecel and that goes for everybody here. Mental illness and instability due to what a truecel goes through is par for the course and should be expected. I deal with it and I've possibly already had a mental breakdown a few years ago due to inceldom. I have violent thoughts every single day for years now. They're the most frequent thoughts I have along with suicidal thoughts. I've been hurt, abused, and disrespected by the vast majority of people I've known in my life and one of the biggest reasons for it, if not the biggest reason, is my ugliness. I'm not treated with respect or seriousness and when you're all alone throughout the entirety of your 20s after being all alone for three years of high school you start to understand what people have done to you and how much of a loser you are or were to them. You become filled with unbelievable sadness, panic, and rage. Getting revenge on anyone who ever hurt you is your #1 goal in life and it's your biggest fantasy.

Revenge is the regaining or obtaining of respect. If you can't get respect, you might as well not live because life without it is hell.

Because of health problems I have I have to abstain from smoking weed and drinking and I've done this successfully for the most part for the past decade. I'm not struggling badly in not drinking. Drinking helps me a bit to get through each horrible day but I'm risking severe pain if I imbibe. It's never-ending torture for me physically, emotionally, psychologically and it's getting to me badly.

I would expect most incels to have violent thoughts due to how people have disrespected them throughout their lives. If you're ugly but can't relate to this then you're probably not that ugly to be honest. Only truecels will understand. If you're ugly, there's basically no way to avoid disrespect. I've been getting it since I was 14 and I'm 30 now. It's basically all I know in life. It's been too long since I was handsome as a kid and respected. I have no relation to whoever I was before puberty destroyed me. I can't even remember who I used to be and how I used to feel when I was a normie at worst and a blossoming Chad or Chad-lite at best back in middle school. By high school I was basically done.