>Life just all works out in the end
This has never been fucking true for me. Nothing in my life has ever worked out without me working 3x as hard as everyone around me, and even then, it often didn’t amount to much. Anything that was luck-based in any manner fucked me over. Completely unexceptional in every way, and if I wasn’t below-average in some area, I was just average.
I’ve never even won any kind of raffle, lottery, or game that required luck. I can go play a few hands of blackjack, and I guarantee I’ll be completely out of money in like 20min even if I play correctly. I went to a casino with 20 dollars once, and I played the slots. 20 dollars in the slots, and I didn’t win a single spin. Not even like a 5 cent win. I remember being younger and sometimes thinking, “There’s only one way this can go wrong,” and that exact thing would happen. I remember playing a game of soccer in 8th grade, and a bird shit on my head. I’m so fucking unlucky that I genuinely thought when I was younger that my thoughts controlled the universe, and when bad things happened, it’s because I thought about them happening.
My circumcision was arguably botched. My family was in a religious cult (registered on the government list of cults) when I was growing up. My parents were mentally ill. I have genetic health issues. All the things that people just hope “happen” to them growing up never happened to me. I never got tall, I never got handsome, I never got a big dick. I’m the most health conscious of all my siblings, exercising and eating well even at a young age, and I’m the shortest of all my male siblings.
This isn’t even a woe as me post. I’m just an unlucky person. Other people have even remarked as such to me. Anything good that has ever happened in my life I had to force into existence. If you knew my entire life story, which I will never fully elaborate on here for privacy reasons, you’d be rather amazed at all I’ve accomplished in a rather short amount of time. And it means jack fucking shit because all you can really control in life is maybe finances and fitness, and everything else is a fucking dice roll that I lost and continue to lose with each roll.
The only thing exceptional of me is I probably have a very high IQ. I supposedly even learned to read at a younger than average age. Arguably the most pointless area to be exceptional in. Nobody gives a fuck if you’re smart. It just made me exceptionally aware of how much my life sucked. I’d rather be 7’0” with an 80IQ than whatever the fuck I am now. It helped me moneymaxx, and that’s it.
Life doesn’t just work itself out. I am proof of that.
