Lv99_BixNood
fascel
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- Joined
- Nov 19, 2017
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View: https://old.reddit.com/r/cptsd_bipoc/comments/1obimqg/neverending_sexual_harassment_in_germany/
I’ve lived in Hamburg for roughly 5 years now and I was sexually harassed countless times. It wasn’t the case when I lived in Köln for 6 months like 7 years ago, I had one of the best times there, love the culture, food and the language.
It all started during COVID-19, when I first moved to Hamburg— I’m of East Asian descent & was female back then (I identify myself as a non-binary person since a few years ago) and I was discriminated a lot because some people thought I was Chinese (shouting Wuhan virus/ching chang chong etc) I was even punched in the head in A&E for no reason. This was immediately reported to police but they were on the A&E worker’s side. As there was no CCTV in the waiting room.
Then after COVID-19, some Middle Eastern men tried to touch my chest, moaning into my ear, tried to kiss me and I shouted “Nein, Stop” multiple times but an African Muslim guy named Mohammed still managed to touch my inner thigh without consent, talking about how Asian women have tight ***** and told me he wants to have really good sx. Things like this happened literally more than 10 times on each different occasions for the last 3 years. I reported this to police as much as I can but I honestly feel very exhausted, depressed, been feeling suicdal for two months now. I am taking meds and I was in a hospital. During this hospital stay, a half Arab guy touched my thigh again and I reported him, then he wrote “00 ist ein Opfer” on a whiteboard and giggled with other patients.
Despite having these experiences and suffering from cPTSD (still on the waiting list for a therapy) I tried really hard not to judge Muslim men but last weekend, I was sexually harassed again by a mutual friend who’s from Gaza. He was critical of Islam and I felt like maybe he’s different but he groped my back and wiggled his hand downwards slowly then put his hand around my waist last Sunday when my friend suggested a group hug. I freaked out and had the flight-freeze response. I felt very uncomfortable and scared so I went home straight although they wanted to hang around more.
I feel so frustrated because I am constantly exposed to sexual crimes but I don’t want to generalise certain ethnic/religious groups. Although I think subconsciously, I judge them hard, also for the sake of self-protection. I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to experience any of this ever again. I thought about moving to East Asia but I felt like I don’t fit in at all when I lived there. Homophobia & Transphobia is rampant… and it feels way too rigid & competitive for me. The other option is to move to London because I was raised there? But I feel worried about knife crimes and I was mugged before. I’ve been feeling unsafe and paranoid, I spend most of my days in my room, just studying and sobbing.
Jfl





