So I've been dating this guy. He's really sweet, and I like that. He can be very considerate at times. My problem is the communication. He spends an awful lot of time talking about his special interest. I have a mild interest in his special interest, but at this point, I am feeling like if he keeps talking about it, I can't keep dating him.
He rarely asks me questions. This is common of men. I told him he can ask me anything he wants. He's come up with some bizarre questions that have nothing to do with me or my life.
I asked him to hold off on talking about his special interest while we were hanging out, saying I wanted to get to know him better, not listen to him talk about this thing. He complied that time. But next time I saw him, it was back to his special interest. I'm so disappointed.
I really like some aspects of him. But I can't connect with him in conversation. And it's really important to me. I feel like he's not interested in what I have to say, even though I know it's not true. It's how him not asking me anything makes me feel. When I revisited the subject of questions, he compared it to a job interview.
My problem is that I am unable to connect authentically with him. I don't feel like he's being authentic with me, because he's repeated some of the same things, which really gets under my skin (because then I know he's just talking at me without paying attention).
This evening he said sometimes he wondered if he was boring. Instead of saying yes, I'm fucking tired of hearing about your special interest, especially when it's the thing you've already told me I just defaulted to "nice" programming.
I feel like there's a lack of authenticity, a lack of willingness to open up and be vulnerable, and a lack of interest in me (even though I know it's not true).
Any idea what I can say as a Hail Mary before I suggest we just be friends?
