Serious No Fap maxxing, dreaming more, possible broken tail bone. Life update post I guess

[VλREN]

I feel like posting anything in incel discussion that isn’t about some Reddit slop theses days is like stepping into a “muh of topic discussion 10%” warning minefield but hey whatever

I’ve been getting back on No Fap lately trying to wrestle back some control over my existence. Trying to fix my dopamine just so I feel less dead inside.

I’ve stopped staying up late as of Easter night, it’s a habit I’ve been doing for about a couple of years now, just staying up until 4AM watching worthless garbage on YouTube and listening to the same five songs over and over again.

But yeah I’ve been dreaming at a higher intensity now, might be the ibuprofen doing it idk, but it’s always nice. But my brain is so used to being over stimulated before bed that it’s hard for me to go to sleep without being on the internet or staying up really late. It literally takes an hour and a half for me to fall asleep now. But I guess it’s kinda worth it.

Been dreaming about all sorts of shit tbh, weird dreams, bleak dreams and sexual dreams.

Speaking of sexual dreams, last night I had a dream where I was fucking a old coworker that I used to work with at my first job, i actually found her TikTok account a few months ago and she’s posting thirst traps of herself and I’ve gotten addicted to looking at her account. Of course my brain doesn’t know what fucking feels like so it was kinda odd dream to experience

Also I’ve also dreamed about Jill valentine a lot but it’s nothing lucid or anything. But it’s nice seeing her in my dreams regardless

But yeah I slipped about ten days ago and landed on my ass, my tailbone has been hurting ever since. I can walk with mild pain but I can’t run or sprint. Literally the only thing am good at I can’t do currently.

Last night I had one of those “this is literally my life” moments and I had to got for a quick walk at around 1:30AM and I was just trying to think about how I can unfuck my life currently. But yeah laying there and realizing that this is pretty much it was painful.

I’ve also been thinking about death a lot lately too, but not in a suicidal way. Mostly about fears of bodily damage stuff like that.

But yeah that’s what I’ve been up to lately I guess

 

[Xul]

Jill valentines ass

 

[VλREN]

Jill valentines ass

Xul​

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[Morbilius]

same five songs over and over again

What songs?

But yeah I’ve been dreaming at a higher intensity now, might be the ibuprofen doing it idk, but it’s always nice. But my brain is so used to being over stimulated before bed that it’s hard for me to go to sleep without being on the internet or staying up really late

Yeah I get that too. My sleep schedule is very erratic sometimes i'm up all night and sleep all day and for a while it used to get really bad where I would wake up at 12 am having slept all day and night. It's a never ending cycle of fixing my sleep schedule then staying up late one night and having that continue for months until I inevitably fix it again.

I’ve also been thinking about death a lot lately too, but not in a suicidal way. Mostly about fears of bodily damage stuff like that.

But yeah that’s what I’ve been up to lately I guess

Hope you're doing ok bud

 

[VλREN]

What songs?

Just edgy rock music or depressing synth wave style music

Yeah I get that too. My sleep schedule is very erratic sometimes i'm up all night and sleep all day and for a while it used to get really bad where I would wake up at 12 am having slept all day and night. It's a never ending cycle of fixing my sleep schedule then staying up late one night and having that continue for months until I inevitably fix it again.

Yeah I gotta force myself just to lay down and fall asleep, usually it’s always a pain in the ass

Hope you're doing ok bud

I might have to go to the doctor for it

 

[justrottingatp]

I keep thinking of my oneitis at night, a fairly htb or something, maybe higher, maybe lower, depends on the brocel i guess, i will never talk to her so it's not like it matter

 

[Morbilius]

Just edgy rock music or depressing synth wave style music


Yeah I gotta force myself just to lay down and fall asleep, usually it’s always a pain in the ass


I might have to go to the doctor for it

Yeah i've been listening to a lot of synth wave stuff recently as well. Well hopefully it works out for you Varen, my doc got me on SSRIs and I get withdrawals whenever I stop using them it's brutal