Venting No amount of pain that my family feels will ever convince me to not end my life.

[Diomedes_1112]

I’m a very highly sensitive person. If you don’t know how brutal that condition is to have as a man, just search it up. It’s absolutely Hellish!

I often wonder about how my family would be devastated if I end my life, but at the same time, I really don’t want to continue living the entire rest of my life with this unbearable fucking condition. I literally cannot control my emotions, and I will say that it has caused my sexual fantasies to reach a whole new level of diabolism. I can’t imagine living the next 30 to 40 years of life like this.

I hate seeing my siblings have no real trouble in life, and here I am, struggling to just regulate my emotions, struggling with severe obsessive thoughts, unable to stop having negative thoughts, feeling depressed, etc.

I feel very weak as a man and an absolute failure in life. I really hate that I was ever born. I wish I had been killed when I was younger, or never born, or killed sometime years ago, etc.

 

[PocoLoco]

schizo?

 

[Diomedes_1112]

schizo?

Huh? I’m not

 

[PocoLoco]

Also I feel you
The only reason why I'm still alive is because I don't wanna perish in hell

 

[Diomedes_1112]

Also I feel you
The only reason why I'm still alive is because I don't wanna perish in hell

I often wonder about that, as I used to once have a strong fear of Hell/Tartarus/damnation/etc.

I think that if a god will condemn you to Hell for having ended your life at a time when you were extremely troubled and full of troubles, problems, etc. then he’s simply unjust and regardless of whatever you do, you’re pretty much just damned, one way or the other.

 

[Diomedes_1112]

Also I feel you

Thanks

 

[PocoLoco]

I often wonder about that, as I used to once have a strong fear of Hell/Tartarus/damnation/etc.

I think that if a god will condemn you to Hell for having ended your life at a time when you were extremely troubled and full of troubles, problems, etc. then he’s simply unjust and regardless of whatever you do, you’re pretty much just damned, one way or the other.

Exactly which is why I don't understand it's prohibited.
At some point, I just think God hates us or likes to see us suffer even if we're disadvantaged from the start

 

[Diomedes_1112]

At some point, I just think God hates us or likes to see us suffer even if we're disadvantaged from the start

Exactly.

I also think that perhaps there is a good god who cares for all people and isn’t all-powerful (which is why evil exists) but is currently at war with evil, and will defeat evil in the end.