My subhumanity has stopped me from being able to enjoy being drunk

[trrrrrsarescary]

I'm at the point where the only thing I genuinely look forward every day to is getting drunk and blasting music feeling all warm and euphoric but that doesn't even really happen anymore, instead I usually just get drunk and start thinking about and reading the blackpill and i
instead get euphoric thinking about roping or going ER, instead of the "everythings okay and beautiful" feeling that I used to experience

Now when I get drunk I just lament and dwell over all of the stares and disgusting treatment I've gotten from random people in public in the far and recent past, and once it wears off I start spiraling over these stares and treatments big time, I get super fucking angry as shit and start literally gritting my teeth in fury thinking about beating the absolute fuck out of these people, it never used to be this consistent but it happens every time I drink now which fucking sucks because it's essentially ruined my only real escape mechanism

I really think it's time for the rope very very soon, the blackpill which I can't escape has ruined the only fucking thing my dopamine and oxytocin starved brain actually enjoys

 

[andrej]

I don't think you will calm yourself until you beat someone up. Next time someone is rude to you or stares at you beat the shit out of him to feel better about yourself

 

[MarkCorrigan]

The only time I'm happy is when I'm drunk. If I'm reminded about negative memories, I just take another sip and turn the music up

 

[trevorkid]

The only time I'm happy is when I'm drunk. If I'm reminded about negative memories, I just take another sip and turn the music up