My life started off as a decent normal childhood from ages 1-6
Ages 7-8 i got bullied becuase I was ND and I got bullied into smashing my face into the metal gates at school out of anger (I had a habit of hitting myself/banging my head of shi when I was mad) and come home and tell my mum she should’ve not given birth to me
From ages 9-10 I was moved away from my dad, the only person who loved me, I was told I was a gifted kid, I was bullied and didnt have any friends except for someone called harry
Ages 11-14 I went through my era at school of misbehaving and getting suspended alot (running out of school and away from teachers) (and my mum said she wanted to khs because of me, thay dumb foid ruined everything moving me away and eating shit while pregnant now im a fucking incel forever.) coz id be humiliated and shi and I was sick of my life and went through cahms and drug and alchohol services. I had also aborted a suicide attempt I was going to lie on train tracks to split me in half and kill me but I let one good month make me change my mind. went through my musical era where I uploaded myself singing on Spotify and soundcloud and YouTube. I also recorded myself online cutting myself vertically once, off camera i also burnt and cut myself alot which raised suspicions with school
Ages 15-18 the end of school, getting things thrown at me, strangled by classmates and getting slapped/hit over the head and kicked and people laughing at me like I was their personal clown, suicidal and homicidal ideations come back and I discovered bp/lookism and realised if I had better genetics it would’ve been different. I also became fat around this point
Now: I am just a loser who sits in his room all day, bottles up his feelings, very submissive due to social anxiety and not leaving my room and being isolated for years, considering suicide everyday because the only thing im staying for is to cope harder and try and feel better but it’s never worked, wishing I had just killed myself when I had the courage to, scared to get wasted as I will probably end up paralysed from trying to kill myself in an ineffective way. And also around start of age 19, my body dysmorphia caused me to stop eating more than once a day and now I am short and skinny as fuck but still manage to not have abs and have tiny mini rolls from my stretch marks
This has been 20% because I’m ND and autistic
80% because of my looks
I just wish teenage love was an option for me, and I have no plans on working so im a broke, smart IQcel, socially awkward, isolated, mentally ill, ugly incel. I have no desirable features and it’s truly over for me.
Ages 7-8 i got bullied becuase I was ND and I got bullied into smashing my face into the metal gates at school out of anger (I had a habit of hitting myself/banging my head of shi when I was mad) and come home and tell my mum she should’ve not given birth to me
From ages 9-10 I was moved away from my dad, the only person who loved me, I was told I was a gifted kid, I was bullied and didnt have any friends except for someone called harry
Ages 11-14 I went through my era at school of misbehaving and getting suspended alot (running out of school and away from teachers) (and my mum said she wanted to khs because of me, thay dumb foid ruined everything moving me away and eating shit while pregnant now im a fucking incel forever.) coz id be humiliated and shi and I was sick of my life and went through cahms and drug and alchohol services. I had also aborted a suicide attempt I was going to lie on train tracks to split me in half and kill me but I let one good month make me change my mind. went through my musical era where I uploaded myself singing on Spotify and soundcloud and YouTube. I also recorded myself online cutting myself vertically once, off camera i also burnt and cut myself alot which raised suspicions with school
Ages 15-18 the end of school, getting things thrown at me, strangled by classmates and getting slapped/hit over the head and kicked and people laughing at me like I was their personal clown, suicidal and homicidal ideations come back and I discovered bp/lookism and realised if I had better genetics it would’ve been different. I also became fat around this point
Now: I am just a loser who sits in his room all day, bottles up his feelings, very submissive due to social anxiety and not leaving my room and being isolated for years, considering suicide everyday because the only thing im staying for is to cope harder and try and feel better but it’s never worked, wishing I had just killed myself when I had the courage to, scared to get wasted as I will probably end up paralysed from trying to kill myself in an ineffective way. And also around start of age 19, my body dysmorphia caused me to stop eating more than once a day and now I am short and skinny as fuck but still manage to not have abs and have tiny mini rolls from my stretch marks
This has been 20% because I’m ND and autistic
80% because of my looks
I just wish teenage love was an option for me, and I have no plans on working so im a broke, smart IQcel, socially awkward, isolated, mentally ill, ugly incel. I have no desirable features and it’s truly over for me.
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