I was raised Christian, and still consider myself as some version of the title. But I don't think the religion as a whole has served me well. Obviously, I didn't end up on .is overnight—I was reduced to this by degrees over the years. Extended family and other adults who have met me think I am very happy and successful. Only my parents and maybe a few others have some idea of the great suffering.
"But Sinclair, the whole point of Christianity is to serve God and other people, you selfish pig!" -
Well you can argue that, but the Bible has plenty to say about the individual as a self-contained unit. Moreover, it also says that God will open His hands and satisfy the desires of every living thing—a proposition I find incongruous with my experiences.
This brings me back to what I was saying at the beginning. My brand of Christianity was never concerned with supplying my sexual and emotional needs. It was repressive and has left me with severe guilt issues—I feel terrible making this post right now. When I eventually kill myself it will not be because of inceldom but because I am tired of being a religious punching bag.
So why has it failed to provide for my needs? The problem is that it has not adapted to the modern society. Traditionally, it was easy to find spouses because (1) the whole community was under a religious umbrella and (2) people married relatively young, early to late teens. Thus there was never this period of frustration and loneliness that now defines the experience of many young males. Now, there is no such communal cohesion and marriage at a young age is frowned upon. The result of this is that the modern Christian male lives in paradox—he must uphold all the traditional morals in a society that does not allow him to do so. He is condemned to a period of loneliness that his ancestors would have found strange and distressing. But modern clergy do not seem to care about this—they will say things like "singleness is part of God's plan." Well then you adulterous child-molesting scum, it actually ISN'T—your soy asses were too weak to save the old fabric, yet you STILL think your beliefs suffice for the new fabric. This is how we end up with insane situations like Tim Tebow (a chad) having to go through his entire 20s as a VIRGIN and pretend to be happy about it (he married at last at 32).
Sorry for how scattered this reads, but I'm not doing well right now. Tomorrow is Easter and I'm forcing myself to go back to church. Happy Easter if you celebrate, I guess.
"But Sinclair, the whole point of Christianity is to serve God and other people, you selfish pig!" -
Well you can argue that, but the Bible has plenty to say about the individual as a self-contained unit. Moreover, it also says that God will open His hands and satisfy the desires of every living thing—a proposition I find incongruous with my experiences.
This brings me back to what I was saying at the beginning. My brand of Christianity was never concerned with supplying my sexual and emotional needs. It was repressive and has left me with severe guilt issues—I feel terrible making this post right now. When I eventually kill myself it will not be because of inceldom but because I am tired of being a religious punching bag.
So why has it failed to provide for my needs? The problem is that it has not adapted to the modern society. Traditionally, it was easy to find spouses because (1) the whole community was under a religious umbrella and (2) people married relatively young, early to late teens. Thus there was never this period of frustration and loneliness that now defines the experience of many young males. Now, there is no such communal cohesion and marriage at a young age is frowned upon. The result of this is that the modern Christian male lives in paradox—he must uphold all the traditional morals in a society that does not allow him to do so. He is condemned to a period of loneliness that his ancestors would have found strange and distressing. But modern clergy do not seem to care about this—they will say things like "singleness is part of God's plan." Well then you adulterous child-molesting scum, it actually ISN'T—your soy asses were too weak to save the old fabric, yet you STILL think your beliefs suffice for the new fabric. This is how we end up with insane situations like Tim Tebow (a chad) having to go through his entire 20s as a VIRGIN and pretend to be happy about it (he married at last at 32).
Sorry for how scattered this reads, but I'm not doing well right now. Tomorrow is Easter and I'm forcing myself to go back to church. Happy Easter if you celebrate, I guess.
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