This is my real first post.
It's been about 2 years since I've had any personal social interaction outside of family in real life, and I am approaching ER age very soon. This is my story.
My stats:
5'6
LTN Face (Mtn+ if fully maxxed out)
Non-NT
~Average iq
Broke, in debt
Dropped out of uni, reenrolled
I feel like I'd mog ER for by being outgoing, low inhib and funny sometimes, otherwise he mogs me in everything but the face.
SInce I was a child, I've had no problems socializing and even competed for leadership. Then I slowly became the weird kid in middle school, I started reading shit and watching anime, although I wasn't completely lost by then and had some female interactions, even though I've never had a female compliment my looks in my entire life. A lot of struggle came from careless upbringing, since my parents were broke and non-NT. By highschool I completely fell off, partially because of my uncultivated physique and being broke, and partially because participating in some project gave me a permission to skip most classes without consequences (I got A's for everything). I've grown up playing X-Com UFO Defense, Deus Ex, Metal Gear Solid, watching X-Files and the Matrix, listening to Trance/EDM, reading on MKUltra, Project Monarch, Nietsczhe and Moldbug cronies thinking I'll become some kind of a super elite intelligence officer commando managing the cutting edge secret technological / scientific projects fighting the aliens or lizardmen or something. I'm too retarded for that.
My mind has been wrecked by unsupervised access to the Internet, social media, video games and porn. I'm not even attracted to real life females in my environment, as they all are bleak compared to the social media; looking at them I only feel disdain and disgust. I've been attracted to women like 5-10 times, never worked out in my favor. One time I fell very hard for an e-girl, but she was way beyond anything real. I'm probably khhv, though not 100% sure about the hh part.
I refuse to give up. I am a fighter at heart, and I like to think of myself as not a bitch. I am going to use what I have of the aryan brainpower to carefully make plan my life and execute it to the best of my abilitiy using notes and spreadsheets. Lots of people achieved A LOT MORE with A LOT LESS.
The only thing that interests me anymore is the triumph of good over evil.
I came to believe that christianity is true. It's a complex topic based of metaphysics and ethics, but in short: what we do in life echoes in eternity. Every action we take will have consequences forevER. I believe that there is objective morality and even maybe that there is such a thing as free will. My objective is to serve the good, and let God decide what my life will turn out to be. Hopefully I may end up in a suitable romantic relationship with a suitable understanding fashionable schizo to make at least 6 white children, but that is not my purpose. I'm not as good with computers and I've probably ruined my shot at conventional institutions like intelligence. I think of myself as somewhat creative on business and reaching social status.
I'll try to check in once a day for any advice and update my struggle weekly.
If you want to be my friend and you're anyone aged 12-80, I welcome you to message me on discord (DM me for a tag or an invite). I am of the adventurous type, so if you also want to hang out in real life or do anything cool together and you're from Russia or Russia-adjacent country I'm always up for that. DO NOT SAY OR PROMOTE ANYTHING ILLEGAL is one of the major rules.
My interests:
Major.
Internet Culture
Politics
Music / Fashion
Video Games
Minor.
Healthy Lifestyle
Making Money
Looksmaxxing
Technology
History
Science (Physics and Math)
Coding
Engineering
Survival (like Fishing, Hunting, Gathering, Scouting, Building stuff)
Fighting / Martial / Guns / Explosives
Religion
Philosophy
Literature
It's been about 2 years since I've had any personal social interaction outside of family in real life, and I am approaching ER age very soon. This is my story.
My stats:
5'6
LTN Face (Mtn+ if fully maxxed out)
Non-NT
~Average iq
Broke, in debt
Dropped out of uni, reenrolled
I feel like I'd mog ER for by being outgoing, low inhib and funny sometimes, otherwise he mogs me in everything but the face.
SInce I was a child, I've had no problems socializing and even competed for leadership. Then I slowly became the weird kid in middle school, I started reading shit and watching anime, although I wasn't completely lost by then and had some female interactions, even though I've never had a female compliment my looks in my entire life. A lot of struggle came from careless upbringing, since my parents were broke and non-NT. By highschool I completely fell off, partially because of my uncultivated physique and being broke, and partially because participating in some project gave me a permission to skip most classes without consequences (I got A's for everything). I've grown up playing X-Com UFO Defense, Deus Ex, Metal Gear Solid, watching X-Files and the Matrix, listening to Trance/EDM, reading on MKUltra, Project Monarch, Nietsczhe and Moldbug cronies thinking I'll become some kind of a super elite intelligence officer commando managing the cutting edge secret technological / scientific projects fighting the aliens or lizardmen or something. I'm too retarded for that.
My mind has been wrecked by unsupervised access to the Internet, social media, video games and porn. I'm not even attracted to real life females in my environment, as they all are bleak compared to the social media; looking at them I only feel disdain and disgust. I've been attracted to women like 5-10 times, never worked out in my favor. One time I fell very hard for an e-girl, but she was way beyond anything real. I'm probably khhv, though not 100% sure about the hh part.
I refuse to give up. I am a fighter at heart, and I like to think of myself as not a bitch. I am going to use what I have of the aryan brainpower to carefully make plan my life and execute it to the best of my abilitiy using notes and spreadsheets. Lots of people achieved A LOT MORE with A LOT LESS.
The only thing that interests me anymore is the triumph of good over evil.
I came to believe that christianity is true. It's a complex topic based of metaphysics and ethics, but in short: what we do in life echoes in eternity. Every action we take will have consequences forevER. I believe that there is objective morality and even maybe that there is such a thing as free will. My objective is to serve the good, and let God decide what my life will turn out to be. Hopefully I may end up in a suitable romantic relationship with a suitable understanding fashionable schizo to make at least 6 white children, but that is not my purpose. I'm not as good with computers and I've probably ruined my shot at conventional institutions like intelligence. I think of myself as somewhat creative on business and reaching social status.
I'll try to check in once a day for any advice and update my struggle weekly.
If you want to be my friend and you're anyone aged 12-80, I welcome you to message me on discord (DM me for a tag or an invite). I am of the adventurous type, so if you also want to hang out in real life or do anything cool together and you're from Russia or Russia-adjacent country I'm always up for that. DO NOT SAY OR PROMOTE ANYTHING ILLEGAL is one of the major rules.
My interests:
Major.
Internet Culture
Politics
Music / Fashion
Video Games
Minor.
Healthy Lifestyle
Making Money
Looksmaxxing
Technology
History
Science (Physics and Math)
Coding
Engineering
Survival (like Fishing, Hunting, Gathering, Scouting, Building stuff)
Fighting / Martial / Guns / Explosives
Religion
Philosophy
Literature
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