incelman said:
If you don't look good with a buzz you are ugly
She know I'm subhuman and hates herself for making me
OP being KHHV at 27, I would like to tell you that it get's better with time, I really would, but I cant, due to the fact that it gets worse, much much worse. Your ability to cope gradually erodes into nothingness, all you are left with is a feeling of emptiness from which you can't escape, 24 hours a day,7 days a week.
With no way to escape or distract your self from this feeling, you will stop feeling altogether, you will become like a marble statue, impenetrable and cold, void of any quality that could be attributed to life. In the upcoming years, you will feel such despair, such loneliness, such suffering, that currently, the intensity in which these emotions manifest themselves inside of your body and how much further they can go on the intensity spectrum, is completely outside of your realm of understanding.
You will question your life, and all life in general. "Why did I come here? Is it only to suffer all of my life, and then to vanish into non-existence from which I came?" To be brought out of non-existence, for a lifetime of suffering and misery, what's the point of all of this, is this a joke? You will hate your life, you will hate your mother for bringing you into this cold dark world, you will hate the existence itself, and all of the things found within it.
I just want to tell you one thing before you get to that point, that if you don't want to regress any further, rules, laws, morality are nothing but instruments of war, instruments of the "master" to control his subject/slave, to keep the slave from revolting or rising to claim the position of power.
There is only one currency or one rule in nature, and that's power. Those who have it or wield it, use it to attain their self-interest, and they will do whatever is necessary to make sure they continue to wield that power, there's nothing more to it. Everyone is born alone, and everyone dies alone, people are governed by self intrest and fear alone.
If you want anything out of life, you should begin to put yourself first in everything that you do, and everyone and everything else comes second. That objects and people only exist in this world for your entertainment and amusement.
For example not only did your mother give you inferior genetics to you, but she came and mocked you today, she disturbed whatever little peace of mind you had... and for what reason did she do this? You really need to start taking control of your life, and not let other people disrespect you like that. I would go up to her, and demand some extravagant dinner made just for you, as her gesture or repayment for disrespecting you today, don't ask for it, it is owed to you.
