Venting My life has been full of pain

Ellsworth

Ellsworth

Chad but they let me post here anyway
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Tbh the first 5 years were pretty good. Then it weeny downhill. Mostly just pain. Psychological abuse from my father and my mother just allowed it to happen. Had to grow up in a poor shitty apartment when all other friends had nice or even modest homes.

Parents worked but were not professionals so didn’t make much plus my dad had a major gambling problem. I was always disgusted by the way they didn’t do common sense things that would make life better for their children.

had trouble making friends and zero female success in all of school. My school just worshiped chad and Stacy and brutally ignored all other students, no wonder a kid went ER at my high school several years after I graduated.

dealt with severe depression,anxiety, and difficulty fitting in. In my 20s things got a little better because I seemed to make friends more easily. Would make more friends through existing ones etc. but now in later 30s I don’t even have my own place. Just recently got a full time job.

i suspect things will get worse especially the loneliness. My tentative plan is just to money maxx but I don’t even know why since i have everything I want. Parents still treat me like shit. Well mom just ignores me, and is very passive and catatonic. Dad improves a little a few years ago when his health declined but still treats me like shit and keeps trying the same psychological abuse even at this age lol. Today in fact he hung up on me and I called him back and left a vm going off saying I’m sick of his calling me just to aggravate me and that if he’s not careful I’ll do something he will regret, and not to push me.

moral of the story is don’t be an ugly male.
 
ionlycopenow

ionlycopenow

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All ugly males lives are nothing but suffering since the age of 12 or so. Some earlier. I had shitty parents too, but no matter how good a parent is it's their genes that are most important
 
metabuxx

metabuxx

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We've been condemned to a life of suffering and misery. The only thing we can do is LDAR
 
singleplayercel

singleplayercel

Life is a fucking scam.
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metabuxx said:
We've been condemned to a life of suffering and misery. The only thing we can do is LDAR
 
Yerberito

Yerberito

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metabuxx said:
We've been condemned to a life of suffering and misery. The only thing we can do is LDAR
Cope
 
Diocel

Diocel

A soup for one, please.
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i grew up in a small studio apartment with my parents, they struggled paying the rent.

at that early age (3-5) my grandpa had problems with my grandma and wanted to get married with a second wife, that putted a huge stress on the family, my ant started to leave the house for days and stay ta her friend's home, my uncle started drugs and the other one alcohol, but for my dad he used me as a relief, he'd beat me at any small thing i do, he just needed something to justified, and my mom wouldn't do anything. one time i was sitting out playing with a cat, he grabbed me and did the usual home.

im 6 years old and i start going to school, and bullying start the first weeks, one kid start to steal my recreation meal, and when i decide to defend my self, he call his friend and they start beating me, teachers didn't care about it, and the other kids wouldn't snitch, and no one would like to play with me and associate with me, i told my mom be she wouldn't do shit, thanks go my ant came to school one slapped the bullies, and told the teacher that if someone touch me again she will fuck her(yeah she really said that), thankfully i learning how to fight because i started to defend myself more and more.

middle school wasn't that hard, but i still had anxiety and trust issue because of my early life.

in high school i just didn't talk to anyone, go to class than home.

no im 20, we have our home, i know that my dad feel bad about the past, and he try to treat me better, but i can't forget the past. when i think about it, my celibacy isn't the worst.
 
Anon313

Anon313

Greycel
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Ellsworth said:
Tbh the first 5 years were pretty good. Then it weeny downhill. Mostly just pain. Psychological abuse from my father and my mother just allowed it to happen. Had to grow up in a poor shitty apartment when all other friends had nice or even modest homes.

Parents worked but were not professionals so didn’t make much plus my dad had a major gambling problem. I was always disgusted by the way they didn’t do common sense things that would make life better for their children.

had trouble making friends and zero female success in all of school. My school just worshiped chad and Stacy and brutally ignored all other students, no wonder a kid went ER at my high school several years after I graduated.

dealt with severe depression,anxiety, and difficulty fitting in. In my 20s things got a little better because I seemed to make friends more easily. Would make more friends through existing ones etc. but now in later 30s I don’t even have my own place. Just recently got a full time job.

i suspect things will get worse especially the loneliness. My tentative plan is just to money maxx but I don’t even know why since i have everything I want. Parents still treat me like shit. Well mom just ignores me, and is very passive and catatonic. Dad improves a little a few years ago when his health declined but still treats me like shit and keeps trying the same psychological abuse even at this age lol. Today in fact he hung up on me and I called him back and left a vm going off saying I’m sick of his calling me just to aggravate me and that if he’s not careful I’ll do something he will regret, and not to push me.

moral of the story is don’t be an ugly male.

I had an epiphany today, perhaps pain is important in some people’s lives. Perhaps god uses suffering and pain as a tool to mold our lives into his image. Looking back on my own life thus far, my darkest moments have been responsible for the growth of wisdom and appreciation for this life. Your life up until this point might have been extraordinarily awful but that doesn’t mean that the future will be as well. As hard as it may be, perhaps forgiving your parents and others in your life just might help to unburden your soul. I have been resentful for so long being a 24 year old KHHV, but I have found that as I forgive others I gain a calm in my soul that transcends all the anger, disappointments, and sufferings of life. Our lives are not the same but I feel that we are brothers bound by unique circumstances and destiny.

This life is temporary my friend. I don't know what comes next but you should try to make this one as good as it can be. You might always be alone and working a shitty job but that doesn’t mean that this life can’t be fulfilling. I have found spiritual exploration to be the most fulfilling part of my life. I believe That god rewards those who seek him fully and honestly. Ignore the established religions and find the truth for yourself my friend.

Peace be with you
 
Comfycel

Comfycel

24 y/o NEETcel Weebcel 2D>3DPD Every Single Time
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Ellsworth said:
no wonder a kid went ER at my high school several years after I graduated.

Wow more info about this pls,we need another hERo.
 
Deleted member 21908

Deleted member 21908

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ionlycopenow said:
All ugly males lives are nothing but suffering since the age of 12 or so. Some earlier. I had shitty parents too, but no matter how good a parent is it's their genes that are most important
my childhood was pretty normal, nothing to complain about really besdies some trivial shit any child would complain about, but in the end it's about the genes. it's like 90% of what matters in this world. personality is obtained by being good looking as that guides you through life. fucking over
 
Ellsworth

Ellsworth

Chad but they let me post here anyway
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Comfycel said:
Wow more info about this pls,we need another hERo.
Don’t want to doxx myself but if I recall only one kill and the shooter. My personal connection to it I was driving and at a stop light just half mile from the school when cops come hauling ass fast as fuck through the intersection. I remember thinking geeze where they headed.
Diocel said:
i grew up in a small studio apartment with my parents, they struggled paying the rent.

at that early age (3-5) my grandpa had problems with my grandma and wanted to get married with a second wife, that putted a huge stress on the family, my ant started to leave the house for days and stay ta her friend's home, my uncle started drugs and the other one alcohol, but for my dad he used me as a relief, he'd beat me at any small thing i do, he just needed something to justified, and my mom wouldn't do anything. one time i was sitting out playing with a cat, he grabbed me and did the usual home.

im 6 years old and i start going to school, and bullying start the first weeks, one kid start to steal my recreation meal, and when i decide to defend my self, he call his friend and they start beating me, teachers didn't care about it, and the other kids wouldn't snitch, and no one would like to play with me and associate with me, i told my mom be she wouldn't do shit, thanks go my ant came to school one slapped the bullies, and told the teacher that if someone touch me again she will fuck her(yeah she really said that), thankfully i learning how to fight because i started to defend myself more and more.

middle school wasn't that hard, but i still had anxiety and trust issue because of my early life.

in high school i just didn't talk to anyone, go to class than home.

no im 20, we have our home, i know that my dad feel bad about the past, and he try to treat me better, but i can't forget the past. when i think about it, my celibacy isn't the worst.

thanks for sharing your story. I’m just amazed at how as a little kid I had more sense than my parents. Why did they think it was a good idea to never buy a home; never save money, and just spend it all on gambling addiction. Did they not realize they would end up flat broke without a dime to their name.
 
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