sometimes i imagine myself asking out my oenitis, then i remember there is literally a zero chance of that happening and i will be forever rejected and die alone. i also have dreamt about her numerous times like as if the universe wants to tease me a little only to wake up back in prison serving a metaphorical life sentence. this is why i hate my brain and it's bullshit that i'm not an npc incapable of abstract thinking an dimagination. i need a lobotomy with some insentient nigger from africa so then i can cope better. why does this bullshit life have to torment me with such thoughts? she is so ugly as well. why can't foids fantasise about ugly males the way i do about them
