Long post incoming, if you want to read just the short part, read the bold/italic/underlined text.
Basically my father is very quick to yell at me. I am not generally a poorly behaved person, but if I frustrate him even a little, he will blow up on me very easily. He is not so much like that with my younger sisters and even in early childhood I seriously doubt he ever laid a hand on them (meanwhile I ended up taking the brunt of physical punishments from both my mother and my father). So I suppose the whole female privilege and the father-daughter bias is true. Gynocentricism is common in a way among more conservative families anyways so that absolutely makes sense.
So anyways, at my parent's request, I was helping them with moving out their old washer and dryer and moving the new ones in. I politely requested my dad to let me know when he was going to let go of the washer because the last time I helped them move appliances around a few years ago, he dropped this stove suddenly and it caught my wrist and fucked it up internally, I think it tore a small ligament or something, and it is still not the same to this very day.
So of course he calls me a "lightweight", and I responded that I just didn't want to have to get injured or visit the doctor again (because last time the doctor was an asshole and didn't want to help me, and xrays and medical visits are expensive even with insurance).
At this point he was clearly in a bad mood. He handed a dolly to me (a two wheeled item used to roll heavy boxes/appliances around) so we could move the washer. Of course it folded up, and he blamed that on me. Then he quickly came over to my side of the room and was mad that I was not sure in that split second, how to unfold it and yelled at me about how I can't do anything or something to that effect.
Tensions were clearly high so in the moment I said "Screw you" and "There's no need to yell at me" or something like that. I did not even curse a single time. I would not normally say that but he was clearly unhappy and I was just appalled that he yelled at me so quick when I was just going to be helping them out, as was requested of me. It was really a kneejerk reaction more than anything.
Well that absolutely set him OFF. We got back around to pick the washer up and he jammed his pointer finger into my neck hard, and told me to look at him.
He pointed at me and said "If you EVER talk to me like that again I am going to knock those teeth out. Let me make that clear, you are going to be eating your teeth right there". And then he also said something like "I never speak that way to you" as a way of justifying his statement.
At this point I did not want to escalate the issue any further so I just said ok. And after that we did all the moving the appliances around and such without issue.
What really bothered me though, is that he actually does speak to me like that, a lot. Now, it isn't a "screw you" but usually some sort of name calling. It never has a curse word but there's been numerous "inoffensive" names applied to me. Jughead, ding dong, moron, the list goes on. Now individually those don't sound so bad but I was called those names for mamy years, ESPECIALLY when I was "helping" my father do something. I put that in quotations because he clearly thinks of me as more of a hinderance to him despite him asking for my assistance.
He likes to tout how he never takes disrespect from anyone and loves to brag about being a manly man, or how kids today are "lightweights" or other things like that, typical boomer/gen x talk really. And also he enjoys posturing as a moral paragon or some sort of upright man and a good Christian/Catholic, when I so often see him being very bigoted, umempathetic, or just downright judgemental of others openly. I doubt Jesus would be threatening to punch his own son's teeth out but what the hell do I know.
Anyways, my father really likes to position himself as some sort of alpha male (despite not using such terminology), so no doubt he was trying to assert his dominance in the household over me when he threatened to be physical. It wouldn't surprise me at all if he actually meant it either and was not bluffing, because he used to be a Chadlite/Chad at my age. He even admitted to bullying some other kids in school when reminiscing about his childhood and even laughed about it. Hypothetically in a scenario where we were the same age and in school together, he probably would have bullied me and beaten me up. Ironic that a Chad could have an incel son, but I suppose that is due to me inheriting mostly my mother's genes and looks.
And to add to the whole alpha male thing, really my whole life has been submitting to this guy. Any time tensions were high, he expected complete and total submission from everyone else. Now I do understand that a father is supposed to be the head of the household or whatever but I think it is really ironic how he is always disappointed in me or pissed at me for being a submissive, high inhibition beta male, when really he raised me to be like this. Always telling me I did things the wrong way, even for simple shit like sweeping with a broom. I never expected for him to roll over and tolerate me yelling back at him necessarily, but threatening physical violence is a little much in my opinion, especially considering how relatively mild what I said was.
If it did end up escalating I would probably be well on my way to the hospital right now. And no doubt, if he did that, I would be pressing fucking charges for assault if I could.
I actually remember that the last time he wanted to get physical was back when I was in the fifth grade. I think my sister had stolen my DS for no reason and I think I pushed her down to get it back and of course she ran off crying or snitching. There was always the standard of "my sisters are allowed to hit me, but I am not alloeed to hit them" and that stood as a rule for most of my life, I had been hit by them many times before and after.
Once my father found out of course, he was furious and literally had his hands around my neck, with me totslly pressed against the wall. Almost comical or cartoonish, looking back, like how Homer chokes Bart in the Simpsons. Except it is much worse because I never did anything even close to what Bart does and my dad acted this way without being a lazy alcoholic like Homer (my parents very rarely if ever, drink, so it is scary to imagine how they would act if they did drink). He then said "Do not ever lay a finger on them again or I will do ten times to you what you do to them".
Admittedly, to his credit, that did actually work, and I never reciprocated against anyone physically in the family ever again, so I was of course subjected to a lot of slaps and punches from my sisters in the years after. But in my opinion it was not fully warranted as I have never really had issues with discipline, I never got in trouble or written up at school even once, always got good grades, and even despite this incident, I could probably count the amount of physical "fights" I was in as a kid on one hand. I was not a problem child or a juvenile delinquent.
But of course, as the oldest child and the only son in my immediate and extended family, I was always subject to the worst of things and to the brunt of my parent's wrath when they were unhappy. When their two precious daughters were disrespectful or misbehaved though, it was always a slap on the wrist as a punishment, or even just handwaved away. One of my sisters was even caught by my parents with drugs numerous times and she always got into detention and had bad grades, but since she is the youngest out of the three of us kids, she was virtually never punished with any real consequences. I could not even imagine what they would do to me if they caught me with drugs or in detention at that age; I presume they probably would have beaten me and kicked me out of the house or something.
Anyways, to wrap all that up, it is always interesting to see how my father especially hates me. I suppose I had/have it better than some people but it is always something on my mind. I even remember as a kid, any time it was just me and him in the car, I was afraid he would just drop me off somewhere and leave me on the side of the road. Just one example of many of the flawed "relationship" we have, if you could even call it that.
But in the end I never really have to worry about retaliation against him or revenge. Because having a fucking subhuman incel failure as a son is probably a greater punishment to him than anything else ever could be.
Basically my father is very quick to yell at me. I am not generally a poorly behaved person, but if I frustrate him even a little, he will blow up on me very easily. He is not so much like that with my younger sisters and even in early childhood I seriously doubt he ever laid a hand on them (meanwhile I ended up taking the brunt of physical punishments from both my mother and my father). So I suppose the whole female privilege and the father-daughter bias is true. Gynocentricism is common in a way among more conservative families anyways so that absolutely makes sense.
So anyways, at my parent's request, I was helping them with moving out their old washer and dryer and moving the new ones in. I politely requested my dad to let me know when he was going to let go of the washer because the last time I helped them move appliances around a few years ago, he dropped this stove suddenly and it caught my wrist and fucked it up internally, I think it tore a small ligament or something, and it is still not the same to this very day.
So of course he calls me a "lightweight", and I responded that I just didn't want to have to get injured or visit the doctor again (because last time the doctor was an asshole and didn't want to help me, and xrays and medical visits are expensive even with insurance).
At this point he was clearly in a bad mood. He handed a dolly to me (a two wheeled item used to roll heavy boxes/appliances around) so we could move the washer. Of course it folded up, and he blamed that on me. Then he quickly came over to my side of the room and was mad that I was not sure in that split second, how to unfold it and yelled at me about how I can't do anything or something to that effect.
Tensions were clearly high so in the moment I said "Screw you" and "There's no need to yell at me" or something like that. I did not even curse a single time. I would not normally say that but he was clearly unhappy and I was just appalled that he yelled at me so quick when I was just going to be helping them out, as was requested of me. It was really a kneejerk reaction more than anything.
Well that absolutely set him OFF. We got back around to pick the washer up and he jammed his pointer finger into my neck hard, and told me to look at him.
He pointed at me and said "If you EVER talk to me like that again I am going to knock those teeth out. Let me make that clear, you are going to be eating your teeth right there". And then he also said something like "I never speak that way to you" as a way of justifying his statement.
At this point I did not want to escalate the issue any further so I just said ok. And after that we did all the moving the appliances around and such without issue.
What really bothered me though, is that he actually does speak to me like that, a lot. Now, it isn't a "screw you" but usually some sort of name calling. It never has a curse word but there's been numerous "inoffensive" names applied to me. Jughead, ding dong, moron, the list goes on. Now individually those don't sound so bad but I was called those names for mamy years, ESPECIALLY when I was "helping" my father do something. I put that in quotations because he clearly thinks of me as more of a hinderance to him despite him asking for my assistance.
He likes to tout how he never takes disrespect from anyone and loves to brag about being a manly man, or how kids today are "lightweights" or other things like that, typical boomer/gen x talk really. And also he enjoys posturing as a moral paragon or some sort of upright man and a good Christian/Catholic, when I so often see him being very bigoted, umempathetic, or just downright judgemental of others openly. I doubt Jesus would be threatening to punch his own son's teeth out but what the hell do I know.
Anyways, my father really likes to position himself as some sort of alpha male (despite not using such terminology), so no doubt he was trying to assert his dominance in the household over me when he threatened to be physical. It wouldn't surprise me at all if he actually meant it either and was not bluffing, because he used to be a Chadlite/Chad at my age. He even admitted to bullying some other kids in school when reminiscing about his childhood and even laughed about it. Hypothetically in a scenario where we were the same age and in school together, he probably would have bullied me and beaten me up. Ironic that a Chad could have an incel son, but I suppose that is due to me inheriting mostly my mother's genes and looks.
And to add to the whole alpha male thing, really my whole life has been submitting to this guy. Any time tensions were high, he expected complete and total submission from everyone else. Now I do understand that a father is supposed to be the head of the household or whatever but I think it is really ironic how he is always disappointed in me or pissed at me for being a submissive, high inhibition beta male, when really he raised me to be like this. Always telling me I did things the wrong way, even for simple shit like sweeping with a broom. I never expected for him to roll over and tolerate me yelling back at him necessarily, but threatening physical violence is a little much in my opinion, especially considering how relatively mild what I said was.
If it did end up escalating I would probably be well on my way to the hospital right now. And no doubt, if he did that, I would be pressing fucking charges for assault if I could.
I actually remember that the last time he wanted to get physical was back when I was in the fifth grade. I think my sister had stolen my DS for no reason and I think I pushed her down to get it back and of course she ran off crying or snitching. There was always the standard of "my sisters are allowed to hit me, but I am not alloeed to hit them" and that stood as a rule for most of my life, I had been hit by them many times before and after.
Once my father found out of course, he was furious and literally had his hands around my neck, with me totslly pressed against the wall. Almost comical or cartoonish, looking back, like how Homer chokes Bart in the Simpsons. Except it is much worse because I never did anything even close to what Bart does and my dad acted this way without being a lazy alcoholic like Homer (my parents very rarely if ever, drink, so it is scary to imagine how they would act if they did drink). He then said "Do not ever lay a finger on them again or I will do ten times to you what you do to them".
Admittedly, to his credit, that did actually work, and I never reciprocated against anyone physically in the family ever again, so I was of course subjected to a lot of slaps and punches from my sisters in the years after. But in my opinion it was not fully warranted as I have never really had issues with discipline, I never got in trouble or written up at school even once, always got good grades, and even despite this incident, I could probably count the amount of physical "fights" I was in as a kid on one hand. I was not a problem child or a juvenile delinquent.
But of course, as the oldest child and the only son in my immediate and extended family, I was always subject to the worst of things and to the brunt of my parent's wrath when they were unhappy. When their two precious daughters were disrespectful or misbehaved though, it was always a slap on the wrist as a punishment, or even just handwaved away. One of my sisters was even caught by my parents with drugs numerous times and she always got into detention and had bad grades, but since she is the youngest out of the three of us kids, she was virtually never punished with any real consequences. I could not even imagine what they would do to me if they caught me with drugs or in detention at that age; I presume they probably would have beaten me and kicked me out of the house or something.
Anyways, to wrap all that up, it is always interesting to see how my father especially hates me. I suppose I had/have it better than some people but it is always something on my mind. I even remember as a kid, any time it was just me and him in the car, I was afraid he would just drop me off somewhere and leave me on the side of the road. Just one example of many of the flawed "relationship" we have, if you could even call it that.
But in the end I never really have to worry about retaliation against him or revenge. Because having a fucking subhuman incel failure as a son is probably a greater punishment to him than anything else ever could be.
