I despise my looks, I loathe my looks, I fucking hate my looks. The only reason I'm here is because, as a little sperm cell, I won the race to the egg cell; that's why I'm here. I have no reason to be alive, nobody does; LIFE IS MEANINGLESS! I tell my parents about my struggles and they just simply say "hang loose", "don't be negative", "you can't get girls when you're just up in your room", and "if you want a shag, just go buy yourself a hooker". I hate how dismissive they are about my struggles, our struggles and such, but at the same time, I love them. It's cruel that they taught my about love, because they brought me into this world and looked after me from day 1, helped me get the best grades in school and go to a good university and I will forever love my family. They convince me not to kill myself, even got me into therapy; it didn't help ofc. If my parents didn't love me as much as they do now, I would've roped, but we love each other and if I roped that would damage my parents because they aren't young parents. I'm trapped, no way out. Once my parents die, I can finally rope, but there is no way out for me rn.
