I sit here and procrastinate my homework to think about the state of my life and the road laid out for me. The pointlessness and triviality of it all makes the obvious conclusion to either kill myself or slowly rot, but the irrational part of my brain thinks I still have hope for ascension once I graduate. I looked in the mirror just now and had to manually stop frowning. My scowl seems to be the default position of my face now.
I have movies and shows and books I'd like to read, but I get bored of them quickly when I realize I am nothing like the Witcher, Aragorn, or any other fantasy character normies look up to. I'm an incel.
Very rarely do I actually watch something or play a videogame to scratch it off of my imaginary list of things to do to feel "accomplished". I can go through maybe 30 minutes before I get extremely angry about how pointless the thing I'm doing is. And this applies to working out, learning a skill, or anything that requires effort because I know ITS ALL ABOUT LOOKS and I'm an incel.
So most of the time I sit in front of the computer and scroll through bullshit until I end up on this forum once I tire from reading normie slop about celebrities and current events. It always ends up making me angry, but I get drawn to it because I long to be normal and care about normal things instead of being an incel.
If I'm not at the computer, I'm walking around my house while talking to myself schizophrenically about how all of my life is dogshit because I'm an incel.
I usually take an hour of each day to curse at God and vow to have my revenge. I get really autistic with this: sticking the middle finger at him, laughing, arguing with him as if he's actually responding, calling his plan for me stupid, calling him stupid, telling him to turn me normal so I can stop cursing at him, telling him his human design is flawed, etc. And it's the same exact conversation everyday. I'm a broken clock at this point and have fully lost my mind because I'm an incel.
I jerk off, but a lot of times these days I just stop myself midway and get disgusted because I feel like an absolute freak. Sitting alone in my room, greasy, sweaty, with my dick in my hand watching a foid not fuck ME. So I can't even enjoy masturbation because I know I'm an incel.
Everyday I take my tranny drugs to stop my subhuman balding, knowing that they probably aren't doing shit, but I have to take them because I'm an incel.
If I talk to my mother or siblings (rarely), they end up pissing me off with their bullshit about how I gotta get a tradwife and betabuxx soon. I gotta listen to them talk about their normie lives and pretend to give a shit whilst they ignore all signs of my depression. About a year ago, I stopped pretending to have friends because it was so tiring making up hangouts when I actually go to get beer because I'm an incel. Then I get numb, laugh to myself about how stupid this shit is, and cry in my room. Then I fall asleep.
Every waking hour I'm on the verge of either crying or crashing out. This shit is so fucking gay. Just thinking about being in class tommorow sitting with a bunch of normies is pissing me off. Thinking about the weekend pissed me off because I know I'll just stay home and do nothing.
God I just want to moneymaxx already and surgically fix my body.
I have movies and shows and books I'd like to read, but I get bored of them quickly when I realize I am nothing like the Witcher, Aragorn, or any other fantasy character normies look up to. I'm an incel.
Very rarely do I actually watch something or play a videogame to scratch it off of my imaginary list of things to do to feel "accomplished". I can go through maybe 30 minutes before I get extremely angry about how pointless the thing I'm doing is. And this applies to working out, learning a skill, or anything that requires effort because I know ITS ALL ABOUT LOOKS and I'm an incel.
So most of the time I sit in front of the computer and scroll through bullshit until I end up on this forum once I tire from reading normie slop about celebrities and current events. It always ends up making me angry, but I get drawn to it because I long to be normal and care about normal things instead of being an incel.
If I'm not at the computer, I'm walking around my house while talking to myself schizophrenically about how all of my life is dogshit because I'm an incel.
I usually take an hour of each day to curse at God and vow to have my revenge. I get really autistic with this: sticking the middle finger at him, laughing, arguing with him as if he's actually responding, calling his plan for me stupid, calling him stupid, telling him to turn me normal so I can stop cursing at him, telling him his human design is flawed, etc. And it's the same exact conversation everyday. I'm a broken clock at this point and have fully lost my mind because I'm an incel.
I jerk off, but a lot of times these days I just stop myself midway and get disgusted because I feel like an absolute freak. Sitting alone in my room, greasy, sweaty, with my dick in my hand watching a foid not fuck ME. So I can't even enjoy masturbation because I know I'm an incel.
Everyday I take my tranny drugs to stop my subhuman balding, knowing that they probably aren't doing shit, but I have to take them because I'm an incel.
If I talk to my mother or siblings (rarely), they end up pissing me off with their bullshit about how I gotta get a tradwife and betabuxx soon. I gotta listen to them talk about their normie lives and pretend to give a shit whilst they ignore all signs of my depression. About a year ago, I stopped pretending to have friends because it was so tiring making up hangouts when I actually go to get beer because I'm an incel. Then I get numb, laugh to myself about how stupid this shit is, and cry in my room. Then I fall asleep.
Every waking hour I'm on the verge of either crying or crashing out. This shit is so fucking gay. Just thinking about being in class tommorow sitting with a bunch of normies is pissing me off. Thinking about the weekend pissed me off because I know I'll just stay home and do nothing.
God I just want to moneymaxx already and surgically fix my body.
